Sunday, December 25
I am uber broke, and I have a million things to do.
I have to update you on a few things theres mystery, mayhem and more men than you can poke a stick at (that is assuming you can only poke a stick at one man at the most)
Merry Christmas, and etc. and bug me and keep on bugging me until i post again
Monday, December 12
Tuesday, December 6
She didn't like me much that day but if she doesn't look after me that could be her future.
(ooh and the beannie she is wearing I knitted that!)
Monday, December 5
My apartment right now looks like it has been used as a maxi-pad, I should do something about that.
Oh yeah and "one night stand boy" has been upgraded to dating status, and will now be referred to as 'Rocky' I seem to bring out the bad 'Rocky Balboa' impersonation out in him.
But he is really cute.
Wednesday, November 30
Am developing far too much of a fondness for red wine... it's just soooo nice
I need a change, a new job, a new plan, a new hairstyle, I wonder how I'd go as a blonde?
I don't need it... really.
I just want to be useful again.
Maybe I'm not feeling inept, just unwanted.
Sunday, November 20
We stayed up late watching dvd's and having sex, this whole entire day was spent sleeping, having sex and watching dvd's naked, and I had fun, and I felt human...ish it was relaxing and did I mention fun.
However now I will be up all night doing assignments I should of completed today.
Oh the sacrifices I make for sex.
But fuck it was worth it!
Wednesday, November 9
Sunday was work I was stupid and tired and employers took advantage.
Monday was exam I was oh so tired and feeling much worse for wear.
Monday Night I went to a secret Dandy Warhols concert at "The Annandale Hotel"
Tuesday I couldn't wake up my heat ached my body ached, my throat was swollen
Wednesday (Today) I wake up I still can'tswallow I have tonsilitis
I want to die
I'd try to sleep but everytime I close my eyes I get an image of a young man dancing around the room wearing nothing but a used condom and singing "Eye of the tiger" this seems to the type of man I seem to attract.
It could be worse he could of been short.
Monday, November 7
Monday, October 31
My father would of betted on "On a Jeune" so I will put money on that one
I will put money on "Leica Falcon" because I always like to bet on horses trained by someone called Gai Waterhouse, plus she has the most kickarse name.
Because I recently did the make-up on a short film that had an eye gouging I shall also put money on "Eye Popper"
And "Railing" is another one that I do like the sound of.
My safe predictability will probably make me put money on that bloody "Makybe Diva" But I really want her to lose.
It really is stupid but I'm Australian it's my right to bet on horses and pretend I have a knowledge of the entire activity for one whole day and then brag about the fact that I put money on the winner (easy to acomplish as most place bets on all horses)
Tuesday, October 25
Sunday, October 23
It's so humid, the weather is made for sex except I have nobody to fuck, i just want to make out with somenbody, feel warm, sweaty skin next to mine, I want someone to kiss me between my shoulderblades and muzzle my neck someone whp will linger with thioer kisses and caress me, why can't I find someone to do all that?
I need a boyfriend.
I need to get laid.
I need to lay off the red wine.
I asked an old fuckbuddy to come over and he w2s too busy, I texted someone else and he hasn't replied, I hate being drunk and hornmy and with too many thoughts in my head because I just get far too restless.
I don't know what ndo with my li8fe, I'm intellkigent, I'm ARTICULATE AND FUCK i'M EVEN WITTY but I don;'t know what to do somebody tell em because i'm losing sleep, and i need my sleedp, it's getting far too mcuh for me.
I shoudl go to bedd
would be much better if a man was joining me though.
Saturday, October 15
I wonder sometimes , what is wrong with my head? I think such bizarre thoughts I can't be the only person who thinks these things? I'm not that unique, I can't be, theres no such thing as an Unique thought, I mean someone has to of thought the same way that I have, made the same decisions craved the same thing, and probably as I speak someone right now is thinking the exact same thing, why can't I find this person, why can't I find someone who thinks just like me?
It's exhausting knowing that this person may be out there and not able to say hello to me.
I need to rest, I need to find people who think like me
and also have money.
I don't condone getting high and I don't do it on a regular basis but goddamnit! I needed a break.
But seriously try the combination, I must say it was better than mediocre sex.
Thursday, October 13
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: agirlwithcurls
Friday, October 7
I love long lukewarm showers
I love concealing pimples and redness on peoples skin
I love cheese and wholegrain mustard on wholegrain toast
I love ginger ale
I love being so tired that I fall asleep on my couch
I love leaving important things til the last minute
I love the feel of cold tile against my skin, so much so I often just lie in my bathroom
I love cooking things in my bamboo steamer
I love reading through the IKEA catalogue
I love roasted garlic
I love shandies (thats beer and lemonade) I also love , Strongbow cider and watermelon caprioskas.
I love cleaning my ears with a cotton bud
I love watching people on the bus
I love two dollar shops
I love that thick custard that bakeries have in their cakes.
I love finishing a knitting project
I love reading Spike in the Sydney Morning Herald
I love putting nutmeg on my cereal at breakfast
I love to ride my bike through Marrickville at 3am
I love the freckles on mens shoulders
I love to have imaginary conversations with my friends in my head.
I love pin-up girl images
I love strawberries
actually it's all pretty good
Saturday, October 1
I got to hang out with my dear friend Lib also on thursday, I love hanging out with her, she is a conservative, middle class christian, and I'm a gullible, left wing, poverty stricken Unitarian but we just get along so well it's so bizarre, anyway I adore her all the same.
I also completed my first Sudoku puzzle on thursday, it was at the diabolical level and I finished it, I never did them because they just looked so dull, but now that I have done one I've got a taste for them, curse you Sudoku
Wednesday, September 28
Sunday, September 25
- I was in Manly doing make-up for a charity show, it was the most fun I have ever had (without being tied up naked to a telegraph show)
- I turned my dear gal-pal Ramona into a tsunami victim for an Assignment
- I helped teach ten year old girls how to do theatre make-up
-I got t do make-up for the Deadly awards and meet famous people like Ernie Dingo and Casey Donovan
- I also got mistaken for Casey donovan
-I went on date type thing and saw Wallace and Grommit
- I havent slept in weeks
- When I oficially become a home owner in a weeks time I will owe the government $8000
- Have missed my Dad too much this week
-Ok I'm really broke
-But it could be worse, I could be short
Saturday, September 17
Anyway I live in Marrickville and I am issuing an open invitation to all who read to come visit marrickville and party hard with me, all you have to do is from Railway Square in the city catch a 423 or a 426 and when you get to Marrickville rd, just Holler my name, I'll find you, or better still, email me or text me and I'll tell you where to meet me.
If you don't know me i'll be the fat chick with frizzy hair causing a scene.
Hope to see you there
Wednesday, September 14
Sunday, September 11
wait scratch that
I have decided that people in mediocre relationships are stupid!
I have decided that people content with being in mediocre relationships are stupid!
Anyway that's what I wanted to say, and that in hearing so many peoples relationship stories I'm going to make sure I don't settle for mediocrity in a relationship.
That and bad breath, I hate bastards with bad breath.
Oh and short people
Thursday, September 8
Am on the bus on my way home from school, just saw my dear friend Richie for coffee and cake.
My life is kinda blurry, almost dream like nothing feels real or constant, I wonder if this feeling ever does end or at least calm down to more bearable levels?
Sunday, September 4
I'm so happy for her, but i'm also very pissed off
I want to get engaged, and plan a party that revolves around me in a white dress.
I want a three tiered cake with a minature me on top
Anyone want to get married?
Friday, September 2
I'm one of those people who complain for the sake of complaining.
I think I'm incredibly selfish
I think I'm incredibly shallow
I am a wanker, or will grow up to be one
A wanker in a fat chick with an afro suit.
Actually there is no reason why I dislike myself, I'm doing well at school, I have lovely friends, even work isn't that bad I just want to complain, because then at least i'm doing something
Unusual night I had this evening, wait now it's yesterday.
Went on second date
I had fun
you don't need to know more except 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was great.
Actually life is great, i'm just too shallow to realise
Tomorrow is Deryns birthday, Sunday is Father's Day
Now I'm teary, Now i'm going to bed.
Monday, August 29
I don't know what else to say umm err
I hate being at a loss for words.
I use the word 'I' too much
it's just a letter but it means so much to me.
I think I better go to bed.
Friday, August 26
I wonder if doctors do cosmetic amputations?
Things I have to say, I need lots of money, and I need to get laid and I need to dance and I need to sleep for about fifty years
I'm kind of stuck in this feeling of awkward melancholy, I'm not miserable nor am I angy, I'm just feeling very very awkward.
I better go, I have to go and create wounds for first aid students
Thursday, August 25
Thursday, August 11
I am cooking a real life Genuine Donna Hay recepie straight from the Sunday paper it has chorizo in it so I am very impressed with it already, I am so domestic, I am so the perfect package now why won't anybody love me?
Probably because I don't know how to love, loves love?
Tuesday, August 9
Saturday, August 6
I wonder if I become a full time glasses wearer I'll become more attractive to people with librarian fetishes? I am fat with nasty hair and cheap clothing I so could be a librarian.
"I'll show you a catalogue grrrrr!"
Saturday, July 30
Tuesday, July 26
Sunday, July 24
Speaking of which I think I might go have a cigarette.
Saturday, July 16
Wednesday, July 13
In the net cafe I'm in the boy i'm sitting next to is very hot not it has any re;evance to anything, it's just there are so few attractive men out there any more that any sightings should be cherished as they could be your very last vision of a hot boy, that or plain and simple I'm just trying to justify that I'm a pervert.
Yeah I know, but it's nice once in a while to pretend I'm normal
Thursday, June 30
I like to bitch and moan don't I?
Exams are over, Life is over, I want to cry, I want to eat lots of cake and drink lots of tequila and be really self destructive. I really want to
Sunday, June 26
Thursday, June 23
I am very happy with the results though.
Now onto my next assignment, when does the pain stop?
Friday, June 17
I'm far too self-analytical today, probably another side-effect of my nadequate feelings.
I have been on wheat binges ever since the weather cooling, I have been bitter, cold and gassy
Stupid minor wheat intolerance why couldn't wheat cause me to die? then I would avoid it, thus, avoiding being an irritable bitch.
Such is life.
Fuck, I'm prolific!
Tuesday, June 14
Weddings suck arse, ok I suck arse at weddings but one thing I know is I want to get married just so I can piss a lot of people off.
I want to dissappear for a while and take a holiday.
Strange men keep on staring at me on the street, some even walk up to me and say hello, I just want to know where people especially old ugly people get this confidence from? to approach a stranger and to expect a positive response is amazing and yet time and time again it happens, it must be because I am a fat chick, people must assume I have no self esteem and thus feel more confident with me, or I appear as a desperate slut to every man and his dog?
I now want to dissappear more and more.
Piniata's are the tool of the devil, you have been warned
Somebody runaway with me, we can become gypsies!
Wednesday, June 8
Wednesday, June 1
Friday, May 27
I spent all my money on bobby pins and a trilby.
A trilby is a hat and it makes me look so very cool.
Brother is coming to Sydney on Sunday because the Foo Fighters are doing a free gig on Monday I'm happy because I get to see my beloved Deryn, I'm not happy because I have to attend school and miss out on foo fighters gig but I'll survive because I'm taking brother to restaurant and movie which will be fun.
But apart from that my life still sucks y'know
Sunday, May 15
So be prepared for the next few days a moblogging extravaganza!
(for those that don't know moblogging is entering my blog entries via mobile phone so that I can update 'kimberly-lives' from anywhere in the world with phone reception and also mobile phone credit allowing)
yeah so that is it apart from saying FUCK FUCK FUCK why does my life have to be the crappest life ever I can barely afford school fees let alone fucking computer repairs, FUCKING DELL computers leading me into the false sense of security that I could trust you with everything all my documents, my secrets, my life. Fuckety Fuck Fuck.
I think that helped
Wednesday, May 11
Tuesday, May 10
It's moments like these that make me think my life is inceribly empty and pointless.
Ok it's not totally empty and there are a few miniscule points in my life that need to be maintained, but on the whole There is alot of emptiness in my life that needs to be filled or at least pushed to the back and have somethijng distracting stuck on the top.
I do this every few days when I ask myself, what the hell amd I doing what I am doing for?
And my brain can't for the life of it find an answer and that's something because I am queen of the excuses. (yes last year all the little excuses got together and democratically elected me as their queen)
It must because I am incredibly alone, coming home to an empty house is this incredibly odd feeling it's become this reflex action when I get home, I open the front door and then sigh.
I'm tired I really am and to add fuel to the fire I am reading 'Hell' by Dante, it's really nice to know that there are so many different routes to hell and right now I qualify for at least a dozen of them.
Sunday, May 8
Thursday, May 5
She saw Lions, Elephants and even Giraffes.
She took lots of photos too!
Yes, I know I can't write for shit but today for a school excursion I went to Taronga Park Zoo,
took lots of photos and now am thinking about what to do for upcoming make-up assignments.
Wednesday, May 4
Monday, May 2
P.S. I hate fucking clowns
Thursday, April 28
And today the 29th of April, 2005 the blessed event occured.
Today after school I saw The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on the big screen and it was good, very good.
I love it when a movie based on one of the greatest books ever! doesn't let me down.
Well what do you think?
Most people hate it when I cut my hair short but I really don't feel like giving a damn today maybe when I go to school and people cry "what have you done with your hair?" might make me paranoid, oh screw it, it's only hair why am I thinking so much about it?
Tuesday, April 26
However I slept in because I stayed up late chatting on msn so I hastily dressed and ran/ waddled to the bus-stop hoping that I would get a bus to get me into the city on time
Of course I did and I got to watch the parade.
The moral to the story is... If something in my life ever goes right it's usually a case of sheer dumb luck.
On a second note My darling friend Lib was in Sydney for the Anzac day parade so, we went on a SUPER-HYPER-MEGA shooping fling.
I couldn't afford anything as I on Saturday purchased a brand new 5.1 Megapixel Sony Cybershot, Digital Camera and fuck me, it's a beautiful piece of machinery. I love it ever so and even though I have a perfectly good digital camera, the batteries were being held in with sticky-tape and so I thought "why get the batery casing replaced when I can just spend $400 on a new digital camera"
Anyway off from my tangent the moral of my story is I spent alot of money today more than I could afford but it was to the furtherment of my career in make-up... honestly it is.
As Lib had never been, I took her to Max Brenner for a chocolate extravganza, as I so rarely see Lib I was justified in eating a small amount of wheat products and a large amount of chocolate products and I was very happy indeed.
It was great to see her again, I really miss just hanging out with my old friends of yore.
Thursday, April 21
Monday, April 18
Brother is the lovliest person on earth, when mother and I arrived he showed me a surprise he made specially for me, a Gorgeous flourless chocolate that he and his co-chefs (if that is an accurate term) made just for me cos a)I love the flourless chocolate cake that his restaurant makes and b) it hasn't got any flour in it whatsoever and as we all know I can't eat the evil wheat plant.
The whole family is tommorrow going to the solicitor to sort out Dad's estate, if there is one piece of condescending advice that I dispense that you actually listen to (trust me if you know me I'm full of crappy what you should do statements) if you have any assets whatsoever MAKE A WILL otherwise you will be spending alot of money in order to obtain a small amount of money.
The flourless chocolate cake is so rich that if you have more than a slice you feel quite ill, i've had two slices (ok, one slice and sliver but it's sooo rich the sliver counts as a whole slice) and I want to die, but I also want to eat the whole cake because if I'm dying I may as well eat the whole damn cake, I mean that would be logical... right?
Sunday, April 17
Saturday, April 16
We will have a guest with us, he is a "friend" of Mothers, he wants to come up to Bulahdelah and do some Bushwalking, his description sounded ok; "English, male, school teacher with a psychology background" so I said sure why not, and then I had a conversation over the phone with him.
(basic hello's and pleasantries)
Him: So how are you?
Me: I'm ok just on my break at work.
Him: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a waitress.
Him: So what are you waiting for? (insert guffaws)
Instantly I thought, this man is an old creepy wank, I should assumed from the description 'English, male School Teacher with a psychology background' that he would be a wanker as all the "English, male, School Teachers with a psychology background" that I have met in my travels have also been total wankers (ok truth be told I have only met one other person that remotley fits this description but for the record he isn't a total wanker just a part time one)
Anyway as Mr English Wank wants to encroach on my chill out with my darling brother time, I will have to humiliate him "Crappy Disney Childrens Movie Style" you might better know the technique as the 'CDCMS' or at least humiliate mother, I mean how dare she make friends with a total wank.
Yes I know I'm being a complete immature idiot.
But I'm going to see my brother tommorrow so it makes it all better
Wednesday, April 13
You see whenever dad and I went out for coffee or to restaurants etc. he would always order carrot cake, not because he particularly liked carrot cake, but because he was in search of the perfect slice, it became a game we played we tasted cakes that were too dry, too moist, the icing was too sweet, the icing was too buttery, and so on and so forth we did once find a carrot and ginger dish that both Dad and I deemed perfect, but then disqualified it on the basis that it was actually a pudding not a cake. Today he would of deemed the carrot cake too dry.
Now I'm not supposed to eat cake because wheat is evil and causes gas and not the good nitrous oxide kind, it also creates a few other nasty bodily functions, but the last few days haven't really given a fuck.
Am now eating a dinner I made for myself of char-sui style lamb cutlets on a bed of asian greens and red capsicum w/ rice noodles and a longneck of strongbow apple cider, while I'm eating dinner I am watching Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining"
Damn Mourning is good.
Who knew mourning would be so cool.
Now what to do next.
Tuesday, April 12
My Father is Dead.
It's a sentence, it's a statement, it's a fact, it's been made into a law there is no way I can change it, it's permanent. Funny thing is I have always wanted something permanent in my life.
What is the point of the rambling? well I am appealing to you, yes you to distract me this wednesday the 13th of April with the first annual "Distract Kimberly enough so she doesn't dwell on the things she can't change day"
So if anyone wants to join me for a few hours of anything from alcohol to more alcohol, or help me keep away from it, you know how to contact me people (via email kimberlyDotlivesATgmailDOTcom), and tell your friends.
Ok I probably don't need a day of distractions, but how does one cope? is there a one year anniversary of death ceremony? do you just sit an cry and scream melodramatically "Oh Why God Why?" ?, Deryn (that's my brother folks) is going to be working, I asked him 'why?' and he said "what else am I going to do?" I however took the whole day off specifically and now I don't know what the fuck to do with it.
It's 2am and these are the thoughts that are keeping me awake.
I remember when I used to be kept awake by thoughts of what to wear tommorrow and Colin Firth in a wet shirt
I wonder why I eased up on my Firth obsession?
Actually I think it coincided when I saw him make out with that sour faced Renee Zellweger.
Oh good I have a new thought to keep me awake.
Sunday, April 10
Boss: What's that you are reading?
Kimberly: (being my trademark smartarse self) It's a book
Boss: yes, but what is the book about
Kimberly: it's actually the script for one of my favourite plays.
Boss: (jumping in her seat) Ooh what is it? Can I look?
Kimberly: yes sure, here you go.
Boss: hmm, theres no pictures?
Kimberly: it's a script
Boss: sorry I thought they had pictures or is that something else.
Kimberly: I'm sorry I have no idea what you are talking about
Boss: ooh I know have you read 'The Da Vinci Code'? don't you think it's amazing?
Kimberly: actually no I haven't had the chance.
Boss: I thought you'd be the first to read it as you like those arty things and hate catholics
Kimberly: I don't hate catholics
Boss: yes you do, you say you hate catholics all the time
Kimberly: no I don't!
Boss: yes you do
(repeat previous two lines for five minutes)
Kimberly: oh you misinterpreted me I hate 'Catholcism' not Catholics, theres a big difference
Boss: is there? I don't know,but anyway you should read 'The Code' it's amazing
Kimberly: 'The Code'????
Boss: "The Da Vinci Code" Kimberly do you ever listen?
Ok so this usually happens a few times a week where I get pestered to go read "The Da Vinci Code" but for some reason my faux intellectual siuperiority makes me think that I am too good for this novel, and for all intents and purposes lets say I am, therefore Ok I honestly have nothing, I just can't be arsed, I wouldn't of minded if I had read this book before everyone else and then bragged about it saying that I read Dan Brown years ago, but every man and his bloody dog has read this book and if I can't be the leader I'd rather crawl under a rock and die than be a bloody sheep buying the book on tape.
I'll wait a year for the bloody movie.
One question though, ok make it two, 1) Do you think that I should read "The Da Vinci Code"? and 2) Please tell me that my boss is the only person in the world that refers to the novel as "The Code"?
Thursday, April 7
I have completed my first term of make-up school and I didn't injure or maim anybody.
I just calculated that in the last two weeks I have spent close to ok extremely close to two hundred dollars in cosmetics and magazines, but luckily for me I can claim it was all in the name of my study, because reading 'Allure' and 'Instyle' is really quite a demmanding task, but it must be done and I cannot, nay MUST not go and rock the boat, and somebody said "you can never have too many eyeshadows" and believe it or not I believe that statement to be absolutely true, and I have to spend accordingly.
But it's all in the name of education, creamy, sheer, matte education.
Thursday, March 31
I must though in retrospect mention a few things.
1) I am a shop-a-holic if I have money I will purchase it
2) I am a person who feels compelled to eat every greasy morsel on her plate even if every bite feels like daggers down my throat.
3) I am horrible with exposed heights, but despite the fact that I know this I will always ride a ferris wheel and sob quietly to myself praying for a miracle.
Winter is approaching fast and today I purchased myself a doona/duvet/quilt and judging from the crappiness of the heating of my flat, it's going to be a cold winter and will require ten more quilts/doona/duvet thingies. One question why can't we have a universal english term for a bit of fabric that keeps you warm?
Ok I know a blanket, a quilt and a doona/duvet are completely different things but bah! I like to complain sometimes about insignificant things in order to feel better about myself.
You know like men with small penises do
Well that's what I assume men with small penises do.
Well why don't you tell me.
Ok just kidding Mr. Prime Minister everybody knows you are hung like a horse.
Monday, March 28
Sunday, March 27
Ok they aren't indicative of my current eyebrows, it's just last monday at school we learnt how to conceal eyebrows and all about various eyebrow shapes, and this is what my make-up partner for the day Illona did to me... the bitch grrr. Thank god for spirit gum remover.
As for my new eyebrows, they look like my former eyebrows only nicer.
Friday, March 25
I'm still sick with cold but have been ODing on the garlic, chilli and the ginger, I smell deliciously odd, but who cares, I'm not going to visit the queen.
My Good Friday was very Good indeed, I like eating lots of fish alot. I really have to work on my grammar and all round eloquence.
Thursday, March 24
Today got my eyebrows shaped, a girlfriend of mine went to this 'totally famous place' to get her eyebrows done, minimum price $50 dollars, and to be honest, I thought they went a little too thin, luckily I don't tell her that, I however found a girl barely out of puberty just up the road from me who shaped my eyebrows quite nicely for $10 actually I think my new eyebrows look quite fabulous, plus they fact they were only ten dollars makes them even more fabulous in my book.
I love bargains.
Took day off school will have day off tommorrow, stupid Jesus dying, I want to do something!
Have been drinking shandies made with low carbohydrate beer and sugar-free lemonade, despite lack of fun filled carbs and sugar, shandies are surprisingly good. My diet obsessive mother is onto something... or fact that bloodstream is full of so many cold & flu medicines that any alcohol tastes good.
Am watching 'Starship Troopers' for the umpteenth time, who said I didn't have a life?
I need a hero!
Wednesday, March 23
I have spent all my money on cold and flu remedies and comfort food (comfort food today is macadamia nuts) so now am poor.
I got to see my dear friend Richie yesterday we went and saw 'Million dollar Baby' I have never cried so much in a cinema in my entire life, I was really moved and that takes alot considering how fat I am.
Yeah I'm 'Miss Self Esteem' aren't I?
Don't tell mother but I have lost my 'Christian Dior' Sunglasses that mother gave to me as a gift (her idea of a gift is something she likes but gives to you so she can 'borrow' said gift) so I need to know where I can get cheap/good knockoffs of sunglasses because my mother is a nazi.
Yes the nazi party is now allowing fijian women into the party.
I hope I get better soon I actually hate missing out on school.
Sunday, March 20
I like to think it all because I'm just so damn beautiful.
Wednesday, March 16
Today we did skull makeup school as part of the topic theatrical makeup, and I got a gorgeous girl in my class 'Rachel' to model for me (ok we actually just pair up and take turns doing each others make-up) anyway today was the first day I actualy remembered to bring in my digital camera so here you have a sample of my cosmetic work... I'm available for weddings.
P.S. my new school rocks
P.P.S My shading sucks and I made the teeth too yellow because I couldn't be arsed mixing a lighter colour
P.P.P.S.Ok my shading doesn't really suck it's theatre makeup and it's meant to be seen at a distance under bright lights.
Tuesday, March 15
My new school is amazing I'm enjoying it so much, I'm learning every day and everyone in my class is just adorable, it makes me feel all happy and stuff just talking about it I love my school ever so much. In the three weeks i have done so much and even got given free tickets for the theatre by the schools principal. (it was 'the chairs' currently at the belvoir st. theatre in Sydney)
Oh a big thankyou to Bella-boo, Ramona and 'The Sage Tithonus' for helping to entertain me on my 21st and distracted me enough not to get depressed because I'm alone and fat and have frizzy hair
Will write more later, I have my internet back on I need to do alot of catching up.
Thursday, March 3
Wednesday, March 2
Friday, February 25
oh and a premium perineum
Thursday, February 24
Did I mention that from now on I will be a poor motherfucker? ok I won't be fucking any mothers, unless lonely mothers are willing to pay generously for my services.
I am happy though, I am broke but I am happy, and I can't wait to post lots of photos of my make-up and waffle about the benefits of a powder eyeshadow over a creme based one.
P.S. throughout the year I will be requiring lots of people (male and female) as models for various assignments and practise on, I don't care what you look like as long as you live in Sydney or can get here easily have a face and can sit still for half and hour, please comment or email me.
P.P.S tell your friends too I need lots of practise.
Sunday, February 20
Thursday, February 17
Monday, February 14
Brain: So what does that matter to you you are alone
Kimberly: Oh yeah i forgot, well I can still enjoy the day, right?
Brain: not really remember you hate people and you particularly hate people who publicly display affection therefore this day is going to be the worst day of your life.
Kimberly: surely not the worst day, I mean the 'Dead Dad Day' was pretty bad
Brain: Yeah, but people werent running about with overpriced flowers and chocolates in a vain attempt to disguise the fact that their relationships are just long drawn out sexual interludes.
Kimberly: You weren't at my Fathers funeral.
Brain: no I haven't been around much lately, I do apologise but sunning myself in Bermuda was a much more tempting option than hanging out with you.
Kimberly: But I thought you liked my company?
Brain: I do, I honestly do, but only when you do exactly what I say.
Kimberly: But I always do exactly what you say, don't I?
Brain: Honey I never told you to buy those Homer Simpsons statuettes, all sixteen dollars worth of them.
Kimberly: What? I swear you did, I mean... but... why didn't you say anything?
Brain: Um... remember that voice that was going 'you fucking idiot you can't afford to spend $16 on yellow plastic'
Kimberly: Yeah but I thought that was my conscience
Brain: What do you think your conscience is? for fucks sake are you an idiot.
Kimberly: I don't know you tell me... Hey weren't we talking about Valentines Day
Brain: oh yeah but it has no relevance for you, I mean after all you are alone
Kimberly: No I'm not, I have you for company.
Brain: Yeah, you do, for a few days at least
Kimberly: why only a few days?
Brain: i've decided to go on a Contiki tour of Europe next week
Kimberly: what? why? what?
Brain: I need to get out and see the world and hang out with the 18-35 set
Kimberly: but... but I'm the 18-35 set
Brain: yeah but y'know they seem you know cooler, and they like to do y'know stuff
Kimberly: ok fair enough, but please can you send me a postcard?
Brain: I'll try but you know I'll be pretty busy with the touring and the drinking and the stuff
Kimberly: Don't worry then.
Wednesday, February 9
It it horribly hot at the moment, I hate the heat it makes me want to smoke, I don't like to smoke it makes me smell funny and makes my throat all owwy, ok I love to smoke it makes me look cool and it pushes me closer to death, but it costs alot of money to maintain an addiction.
Doctor says I have to listen to him and actually take his advice, and not drink beer or eat wheat as it is turning me into a human bag pipe (as in I emit alot of incredibly annoying sounding wind) so am on diet of death where flavour and fun has been removed. Doctors suck and not in the endearing blow job kind of way.
Did I mention that my mother can be a total cunt of a bitch sometimes... it's a personal issue but I think she is going to drive me over the edge... as I can't drive myself over the edge as I don't have my licence.
That's me and Deryn in 1992 when we both attended Tea Gardens Public School, I actually remember the day quite vividly as my brother was crying wildly because he didn't want his photo taken you can actually see his teary eyes and the wet patches on his shirt where he wiped his face on it, I remember crying too, but I cried so much in primary school, I used to cry so much that one of my teachers used to call me 'Warragambah' after the huge dam in Sydney.
This was taken at Deryn's Graduation formal in November 2003m, god I got fat and pale, it was a fun night though, and my brother looked oh so grown up in his suit, makes me wanna cry.
Monday, February 7
Friday, February 4
And the commuters on the bus get squashed and squashed, fearing for their life.
Am on the bus on my way home from work and this bus is packed to it's government issued rafters, why can't somebody offer me a seat? Stupid pregnant and elderly.
Wednesday, February 2
Friday, January 28
Ok Less talk about 'das booty'
Deryn (that's my brother folks) and two of his mates Brent and Daniel crashed at my place for a couple of nights for the 'Big Day Out' I was to go but Daniel, missed out on tickets and me being the pathetic pushover that I am I sold him my ticket, therefore missing out on my beloved 'Beastie Boys' and just the smell of stale sweat, cheap bourbon, and urine. Oh and the blisters! oh how I treasured the battle wounds of the music festivals I attended, as I would apply ointment to my chafed inner thighs and think that was from 'Powderfinger' or when icing the bruise on my left calf thinking 'Sonic Animation' did that one, or when I looked at the bloodied stump where my left hand used to be and sigh and think of 'Silverchair'
Ok my left hnd didn't get amputated at a Silverchair concert but if it did I'd be right now cashing in my compensation cheques.
I am far too selfish, I need to work on that, that and my reckless spending habits, today I purchased towels, two pairs of jeans a red pair of shoes and underarm whitening deodorant. Oh and a pluggy thing for my phone line.
I was only supposed to get the pluggy thing, but the jeans were only ten bucks a pair and the towels were green and oh so lush and on special and the shoes were red and shiny and I don't have a life or a boyfriend to help kill my animal instincts.
So the moral to my story is if I was getting laid, I'd be much more controlled and efficient in my day to day life.
So the only solution apart from getting into a boob tube and heading down to the pub with my fingers crossed and my legs open, is to purchase me an expensive vibrator such as this one, yes I know it would send me to the poor house but It's for the greater good a.k.a me
But now, bed
Wednesday, January 26
I'm at central station, this is a photo of a crazy lady who has been coughing up miscellaneous goo for the last ten minutes, she's wearing an aboriginal flag, so I thought I'd post a picture to celebrate the european invasion of Australia and what has become of the indigenous population. She is sadly just one of many here at central station. Happy Australia Day!
Saturday, January 22
Wednesday, January 19
I have tried being excited but a dark fog has hung over the whole moving in process, a dark, gold jewelry wearing, Chanel Chance smelling fog, Deryn, Dad and I called this fog 'The Dragon Lady' but when in the presence of this fog we call her Mother.
She wants to sorta live in "Casa del Kimberly" well not live there, just bathe, eat and sleep there.
I don't get along well with her, and I don't think landlord would appreciate blood spilled within the first week of me moving in.
Tuesday, January 18
Thursday, January 13
Wednesday, January 12
It means I have to commit to something, and as you all know I'm a commitment-phobe and therefore rent freaks the be-jesusness out of me.
I don't believe I have ever used the term 'be-jesusness' before.
I'm so scared of becomming a tennant that I have started using made-up-pseudo-words.
Oh well it could be worse, I could have below-average skin, but my average skin is holding up well.
Tuesday, January 11
Or today at Garden City Shopping Centre, Deryn saw a photo booth that did funny photos and superimposed his mug onto a photo of African tribesmen, for entertainment value.
The first story while it didn't happen, it is totally feesable.
Saturday, January 8
Thursday, January 6
I have a school to go to... that's a positive point
I have almost got a place to live in... that's also a positive point
I'm turning 21... that's positive, but I look and feel like I'm 38 with a crack addiction so being older is really a neutral point.
I have a new and exciting blog, with mobile blogging capabilities... that's a positive
I might also add I'm starting 2005 with less flea bites than any other year!
I'm ready to take on the world.
(note: this entry might of been fuelled by excess vodka and prozac consumption, do not try it at home kiddies unless you have a crazy doctor who will pescribe you anything)
(note: I'm not really on prozac, I'm on lithium)