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Monday, August 31

How am I going?

I feel like crap! I have felt like crap for a very long time and now I feel like super crap, I wish I could say it's some emotional romantic dilemma that involves a vengeful ex girlfriend and my family held hostage but alas life in the Kimberly world is never adventurous.

I just have a fucking horrible cold, not a boo hoo I'm a little stuffed up better take the day off work wink wink and go to IMAX instead...I wish. It's one of those painful colds where every muscle hurts (especially my right bicep go figure) and my head is packed full of swollen sinus ejaculate (trying to work some new words for snot into everyday conversation) and all I can stomach is soup but when I have soup unless it's chunky I can't tell the difference between it and ejaculate (well that and the fact there is usually a massive quantity difference I'm just chuckling this bit in but look at the the wikipedia entry on ejaculation it has a video) which was what happened with 'The man wth no names' Potato and Leek soup today last night he made mulligatawny which when I'm well is divine and one of the best things on earth but when I'm sick it's spiced ejaculate with chicken and apple pieces.

Ok this really makes me sound like a right slurry doesn't it?


Anyways in Other non ejaculate related Kimberly stories my dear friend 'The Americano' has come and left Australia and we managed to condense two and half years of half arsed friendship into ten days of overbearing clingy awkwardness... and that was just from me

No it was actually quite nice, I really don't have a core group of friends in Sydney who meet up every saturday and talk and drink like they do on T.V most of my friends have either a) moved away from Sydney or b) are individuals that I can't just group together with other friends and kill two birds with one stone or c) people trying to fuck me. So it was good catching up and having amzing meals and drinking massive quanities of alcohol and talking, talking is one of my favourite things except now that when I talk I remember stuff from my drug addled youth(that's Kimberly from ages 17-22) like dressing up in very odd costumes and fighting people in said costumes... which led me to locate said pictures from my fightingd days... day... night.

It's not good Kimberly in grey boilersuit thing made of stretchy paper material not good.

Need more drugs to forget it.

Saturday, August 29

The Spank Bank: part one


Inspired by one of my favourite bloggers
Lady SJ and her great collection of 'Men I'd Smoke' I have decided to compile a list of the men I find most attractive in the world a) so I can show my grandkids (that's if i'm unlucky enough to get knocked up and live long enough to see my children get knocked up) the kinky shit I'm into, and also b) gives me an excuse to collect more material for the 'spank bank'



Number One: Mr Lee Marvin

He is my ultimate in Actors and in men, he's the man I would drop everything for, if I encountered a man who looked like Lee Marvin in the mid 1960's I would drop everthing there and then and ride him home. In fact talking about him requires me to go change my knickers.





Number Two: Mr Errol Flynn


Oh Errol! I would do anything just to be with him, yes he is Australian and looks Australian and I have not placed very many Australians into the 'spank bank' as most of the time they look Australian but he rocks a mo' like no one else and Captain Blood is a great movie and phwoar! he looks like he'd be a good no nonsense root (none of that candles and rose petals bull shit)

more to come.

Saturday, August 22

My Childhood in Bad Pop Songs: Part Two

Girlfriend: they lasted a little longer than teen queens and had the sunflower motif down pat. an I went on to absolutely adore Robyn Loau (the islander girl) in the late 90's shame about this hey.

My Childhood in Bad Pop Songs: Part One

This was the debut single from one of the first cassettes I ever owned (by own of course I mean taped off the c.d version my Uncle Barry owned) The Teen Queen were awul they still are awful they were three girls who sang 90's versions of 60's songs

I can't believe how my taste in music has grown

History of the Predictive Text Swearing

woke up early and instead of y'know cleaning like I should be i'm instead watching British comedy duos on Youtube

Tuesday, August 18

So...

My friend 'The Americano' is in town for the next few days which is funnily awkward enough as I used to do him and even funnier as now I'm seeing someone else, I haven't got a name for him so he'll be 'The man with no name' I'm only blogging about this because a) I know both of these gentlemen sneak around reading my blog and b) I like to create personal drama when theres not any to begin with.

Even though chances are they'll never meet I'm secretly hoping for a 'Women in Love' style naked brawl (cannot find a video of it online other than this scene) involving them and few other exes of mine, it would be hawt and I could referee and oil everyone up in between rounds. Actually that reminds I should rewatch I forgot how hot young Alan Bates.

must add him to the men I'd smoke list.

I did get a case of Larabars from 'The Americano' which makes me super happy, and super regular too.

Still all and all I love seeing old friends, it gives me the warms and fuzzies

Monday, August 10

John Hughes is Dead!

 

Stuff Michael Jackson, this is a true artist dead!

 

I love John Hughes movies, they are most of the time meh but I love them ever so much, as a bedridden teenager (yeah I was sick for a bit)  I lived on constant re-watchings of this video I had where channel ten actually had a triple bill one Saturday night of Ferris Buellers Day Off, The Breakfast Club and Weird Science and thanks to my dad making the sizeable investment of purchasing a long play VCR (also it was dual PAL and NTSC how fancy)  I managed to get all three onto the one tape, oh goodness how I thrashed that tape, that and the 1995 BBC Pride and Predjudice mini series with Colin Firth, anyways John Hughes, has probably been one of the biggest influences in my life because of John Hughes I was a smug wordy teenager who didn’t give a damn about what people thought about me and now I’m a smug wordy adult who doesn’t care what anybody thinks (ok I may have to thank partly a good upbringing for some of that thanks Dead Dad and Alive Mum) Ok and also I have to thank John Hughes films for my taste in music, clothes and men.

 

Oh how I love a smouldering 80’s heartthrob, with hair that that touch too long, with unusually straight teeth, dreamy blue eyes, wearing a stripy jumper, or better still a jumper knotted around his shoulders and reeking of Calvin Klein Obsession for Men (I don’t know why but it’s a panty dropping smell )  I remember many a sleepless night as a fourteen year old wishing for a guy that looked like a hybrid between Andrew Mccarthy, John Cusack and Colin Firth, now I just want him to look like Andrew McCarthy circa 1986, in fact I think I’d be happy with Andrew McCarthy he looks like he’d go out of his way to please me.

 

Actually have been gravitating lately to more edgy boys like my beloved Alex, and unkempt boys with facial hair but real facial hair not that spray wispy crap that counts as a beard.

 

Anyways where was I? Oh yeah John Hughes, did you hear he died?

 

 

 

 

Saturday, August 1

At work because I want to be

At work today decided to do overtime as I have to stockpile money for entertainment over the next few weeks (and also to try and fill the gaping hole known as my personal debt). It’s ok because it’s quiet here at work, I’m actually watching Breaking Bad on one of the many T.V.’s here at work and it’s too busy so can actually enjoy my day.

 

Splendour in the Grass was fantabulous even though I was sick and I got to see The Specials and The Happy Mondays right up near the front so I can almost die happy (need to tick off B52’s, New Order, Sufjan Stevens, The Cardigans, Fleetwood Mac, and Dolly Parton off my living musicians I need to see live list)

 

I think I’m going to make Coq Au Vin tonight, or sleep as I’ll be doing it all again tomorrow.