Live from 'Casa del Kimberly'

Ok am a touch excited, I finally got off my sizeable arse and got the phone connected today, and thus am now surfing my sizeable arse off on the internet.

Ok Less talk about 'das booty'

Deryn (that's my brother folks) and two of his mates Brent and Daniel crashed at my place for a couple of nights for the 'Big Day Out' I was to go but Daniel, missed out on tickets and me being the pathetic pushover that I am I sold him my ticket, therefore missing out on my beloved 'Beastie Boys' and just the smell of stale sweat, cheap bourbon, and urine. Oh and the blisters! oh how I treasured the battle wounds of the music festivals I attended, as I would apply ointment to my chafed inner thighs and think that was from 'Powderfinger' or when icing the bruise on my left calf thinking 'Sonic Animation' did that one, or when I looked at the bloodied stump where my left hand used to be and sigh and think of 'Silverchair'

Ok my left hnd didn't get amputated at a Silverchair concert but if it did I'd be right now cashing in my compensation cheques.

I am far too selfish, I need to work on that, that and my reckless spending habits, today I purchased towels, two pairs of jeans a red pair of shoes and underarm whitening deodorant. Oh and a pluggy thing for my phone line.

I was only supposed to get the pluggy thing, but the jeans were only ten bucks a pair and the towels were green and oh so lush and on special and the shoes were red and shiny and I don't have a life or a boyfriend to help kill my animal instincts.

So the moral to my story is if I was getting laid, I'd be much more controlled and efficient in my day to day life.

So the only solution apart from getting into a boob tube and heading down to the pub with my fingers crossed and my legs open, is to purchase me an expensive vibrator such as this one, yes I know it would send me to the poor house but It's for the greater good a.k.a me

But now, bed