New Job New House, New Year

I have a new place, with a new housemate, and a new giant fridge.

for once in my life I can say I'm slightly smaller than the size of a fridge.

I have a new job, it's with a multi-national telecommunications company and it's soooo fricking good!

and I won't be pestering people on the phone they'll be pestering me!

Now I can start paying off my debts, and start saving for Splendour 2008... WOOT!

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Sex:

Sex, it's a very fluid thing,

It relies on fluids (alcoholic) to get started

It requires fluids (personal) to keep going

And it ends in the expelling of more fluids (personal again).

And of course those fluids could possibly combine and create a new creature that will expel more fluids (digestive) for you to clean up.

Ok just a random thought, I have been preoccupied with sex of late, mainly because I managed to hook up two of my very good friends for a couple of sordid nights, despite their protestations, and all I needed was alcohol and a couple of subtle hints like

"he's gagging for a root!"

Oh goodness I am indeed a wordsmith!

Anyways they got laid, and I have realised my sledgehammer subtlety can be useful sometimes.

And I am considering offering my services to help all my friends appreciate the joy that is drunken casual sex.

And no not with me...

so are there any takers?

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At Last a reason to learn how to drive!

I have been umming and ahhing over getting a licence and a car but at last a decent use for a car

And apparently my friend who is visiting Sydney this week will also have a hire car for me to try this on.

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Scorese doing Hitchcock to sell wine

I just saw this, I likee, if you a are a wanky film buff like moi you may like it too.


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Happy New Year!

I'm on my way out to go see one of my favourite groups 'Pink Martini' so this won't be a very long entry.


I just wanted to say quickly that 2007 was one of the best years of my life mostly because of all of the wonderful people I have met, I have been luckily enough to meet and hang out with the kindest, smartest, funniest, sexiest and most generous individuals these last few months and I just want to send you all out a big cyber hug to you all (if you read this blog at all)

and I'll write about my new house soon and maybe post some piccys.

Hooray a new year

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Christmas Dinner turned out a treat, I forget that I'm actually capable of making quite lovely meals when I pay attention and follow recipes, except Mother kinda ruined dessert she bought some hideous low fat flavour free chocolate swirl ice cream, which went well with anything.

But alls well that ends well, there is barely any leftovers to pack away or clean up but still a little Sangria and Caddyshack on the T.V

This is how Jesus would of wanted it.

Christmas 2007

Well I'm officially moving into a cute lil' terrace house in my beloved Marrickville.

It's Christmas Eve and I'm watching some horrid made for TV movie a modern take of a Christmas Carol with Tori Spelling, Gary Coleman and William Shatner..

I have to stay up and watch it as I have to stay up late tonight to cook Christmas dinner as Mother decided at 4pm Cristmas eve that I would be hosting Christmas Dinner at my house and that Deryn would be driving down to Sydney to eat and then flee back home to make breakfasts for hungover millionaires on Boxing Day.

With no notice and a hurried shouted out shopping list to my mother over the phone in a low reception area Christmas will be as follows.

Vichy Carrots
My Roast Potato Salad.
Blanched Green Beans with Almonds
Roast Leg of Lamb with a balsamic and mint sauce
Roast Pork with an Apple Hazlenut Stuffing and Apple/Hazlenut Butter Sauce
Christmas Icecream (packaged pudding and booze mixed through ice-cream)
Fresh fruit and Brandy Custard
Sangria

It's not bad for a few hours planning and using the crap in my cupboard, let's hope it works out...

It did however throw a spanner in the works as it has totally fucked up my plan of getting stoned whilst watching musicals all day.

Family... bah humbug!

At least National Lampoon Christmas will be on so there is a positive, it is one of the great Christmas Movies out there.

Too much stuff

I have put a deposit on a cute lil terrace house lets see if they approve me

I have almost got a new job

I'm tired and poor,

apart from that it's all pretty good

more information as it happens

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Why oh why is it when I have no money (well not enough to justify the postage) is the dress I have been lusting over for months on sale for this week only at 50% off?

On the plus side I did make preserved lemons and limes today and I think they will be an absolute treat and actually turn out the way I have intended and not like my strawberry jam/ overcooked strawberry syrup.

I am really wanting to do some more preserving, I am jonesing for some fetta in fancy flavoured oil mmmm fetta. Ok I'm really just jonesing to be a housewife that makes preserves all day, in between my bridge games and my daily romps with various tradesmen... mmm tradesmen

I have had some really odd pre-period cravings this last week I have been desperate for 'Sweet and Sour pork' not something well done but that gawdawful cheap version made out of battered pork pieces deep fried and coated in an almost toffee like fluorescent red sweet and sour sauce and some slivers of onion for show, Still every where I have been to this last week has seemed not to have it on the menu, probably lucky for me that they didn't I feel like I could inhale a whole bloody bathtub of the stuff right now.

Now how to get the dress without spending any money? It's much harder to shoplift from online stores.

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Got me right down to a tee, or is that T?

read this

Fat girls are like zombies. They have no purpose but to infect all others with their fatness.


If you know me personally then you would be laughing quite loudly, thinking to yourself "Kimberly? Get Married? but she's a bit of slut who can't stand anyone sharing her spotlight, plus she's not very attractive, intelligent or good in bed"

but...

I do have a confession,

I do want to get married one day.

GASP!

I know, I know and you are probably thinking why on earth would someone like me want to get married and I have only one answer to give plain and simple.

It's the cake, I mean your wedding is the only time in your life really where you can have a three tiered cake with a mini statuette of yourself without looking like an absolute wanker, you can be annoying and have a cake with different flavoured layers, and people will line up for hours just to have a slice. If I could have a three tiered cake at my next birthday I wouldn't be thinking like a crazy person and want to get married, If I could get a three tiered cake with my flat white at the local cafe I would be a happy chappy indeed and not be one of these marriage obsessed 'fat girls'

I'm guessing that's why so many girls enter into marriage, for the cake.

I'm guessing that's why so many people divorce too, so that they can re-marry and have more cake.

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Status update

I'm tired, waay too tired, I have to defer Uni for a while next year, I have to get a full time job, there is no way possible that I can afford to live in Sydney, maintain my obligations and Attend Uni full time on my current income and the condition of the scholarship I'm under means I can only do this thing full time or not at all and I don't qualify for any other funding sooo...

I'm looking for a full time job, I'm thinking I might keep with my polling job and find another phone job I'd really like a job that I could wear slippers to.

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Yay it's New PM Day!

I honestly didn't think it would happen but it did, it really did a new Prime Minister

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I love me an election

hahahahahaha

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Where have I been?

I haven't been able to pay for my phone bill, and won't be able to for some time yet (so no internet from home) so while I'm away will you promise to imagine me in a series of sexy adventures with my hair all tousled by skin glistening with perspiration and my top two buttons undone?

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Dillemma #498632

I hate dilemmas especially ones that involve me and money and carrots that are being dangled in front of me that look like wads of much needed cash.

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Big Day Out 2008: Part One - tickets obtained.

I have spent the last of my money on 'Big Day Out' tickets it's already sold out and it took my brother a helper (my darling Boo) and myself all sitting in a virtual queue for a couple of hours to make sure we got tickets and we did so I am now happy. If there's something I like it's an opportunity to get inebriated in a large crowd and listen to a whole heap of music.

woot! now I just need me a sugar daddy to keep me in this lifestyle of being inebriated constantly and travelling from festival to festival.

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Untitled

There's a sense of smug self satisfaction when an ex-boyfriend sends you a late night message declaring that he still wants you.

I haven't paid my mobile phone bill so I couldn't respond, it's a good thing because I can spend some time crafting a touching yet witty response that will leave him feeling better about himself, instead of my usual response when an ex calls of "fuck off! I'm married you've just woken the kid! but yeah we should do coffee some time"

It's nice to know that exes think about me, it means two good things about me a) that I'm great in bed and b) my personality is not so annoying that it counteracts my walnut cracking pelvic floor muscles.


P.S. I have never placed walnuts into my 'corporate box' and I don't recommend you to do it either but I'm assuming that I can crack walnuts based solely on what I can do to ping pong balls.

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What is Octsober?

Now if you are a friend of mine on the facebook (and checked my profile on occasion) you would of noticed I am currently celebrating 'Octsober' a new holiday on the Kimberly-lives calendar, it's my first year of celebrating (as I just made it up last month) and there are some rules that I have to stick to in order to get the best out of Octsober.

- No alcohol is to be consumed during 'Octsober' (convieniently held over the month of October)

I did make a slight exception with this rule as I'm allowed to taste test the hooch i have been making with these and also they barely made three percent alcohol

- If I am seen with an alcoholic drink then I have to purchase two alcoholic drinks for everyone who spots me with booze.

- I am not to consume any illicit substances

- I am not to consume any wheat products or white rice or refined sugar


I have to start being a good girl again, I'm drinking far too much and eating the bad foods that make me sleepy so it's kind of like a detox but with a cooler name, I mean 'Octsober' that is freakin' gold that is.

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Lessons in Jam Making.

When multiplying a recipe you should use mathematics not your eyes.

If you don't have the appropriate equipment to make jam don't wing it with empty soft drink bottles.

Pectin is your friend, and if you are making a non citrus based jam you should always extra on hand.

Anyways I have now three huge jars of strawberry syrup instead of jam, I might have a fiddle around with them to see if I can thicken them further but the syrup at least is mighty fine syrup, and makes a really nice cordial with some lime and soda water and perhaps could add it to my cider making experiment at the moment (did I tell you guys I'm into making booze out of juice at the moment?)

I also missed out on Rage Against the Machine tickets... they sold out in minutes this morning, I only blame my brother...

well at least there are scalpers and they wouldn't rip me off now would they?

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What should I do?

because they were on special I just bought me five kilograms of strawberries, I plan on spending my Thursday making a hell of alot of preserves, so please don't be surprised if you get something strawberry like for Christmas.

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