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Monday, October 8


There's a sense of smug self satisfaction when an ex-boyfriend sends you a late night message declaring that he still wants you.

I haven't paid my mobile phone bill so I couldn't respond, it's a good thing because I can spend some time crafting a touching yet witty response that will leave him feeling better about himself, instead of my usual response when an ex calls of "fuck off! I'm married you've just woken the kid! but yeah we should do coffee some time"

It's nice to know that exes think about me, it means two good things about me a) that I'm great in bed and b) my personality is not so annoying that it counteracts my walnut cracking pelvic floor muscles.

P.S. I have never placed walnuts into my 'corporate box' and I don't recommend you to do it either but I'm assuming that I can crack walnuts based solely on what I can do to ping pong balls.

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