Ladies and gentlemen I have been working (as make-up artist) on a play and it has been absolutely wonderful, so if you are anywhere near Macquarie University and want to see some talented, hot, young things performing one of the worlds most famous plays go and click here and tell them Kimberly the make-up artist sent you, or don't as it doesnt entitle you to a discount or anything, but anyway you should because it's cheaper than a movie, more mentally fulfilling and with live theatre there is always the delicious possibility of someone crashing and burning on stage.


Anyway how am I? I'm alive, and I'm tired and I want to throw actual income making job in and join a gypsy gang, and travel the country cursing people.

Ok am fine amd just finding that the people I thought I knew are different or I'm just more aware of their flaws at the moment, but that might just be me being melodramatic.

Speaking of drama have I mentioned that I am currently working on a play? Romeo and Juliet to be exact, it's at the Lighthouse theatre at Macquarie University and is critically acclaimed (by critically acclaimed of course I mean me) anyway help the kids out and give them your money.

Well

On Thursday I consumed a schnitzel the size of a surfboard.
On Friday I consumed half an aquarium and several cocktails (maybe 8)
On Saturday I consumed 'KFC' an E and several beers

This was all to celebrate the joyous day of my birth.

My liver hurts, my head hurts, the world won't stop spinning, I need to sleep

Why can a goat find a husband but I have trouble finding a male with conversational skills?

I'm turning 22 on Friday, I hate it and yet, it's great because I'm finally getting closer to the age I currently feel (46 if you must know) but it means that I shoud be more responsible and determine some sort of goal but I have nothing, I don't know what to do.

If you have any suggestions please tell me because aimlessness, sucks.

Another day Another Haircut!

060211_170636.jpg
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Ok this is my new hairdo it's very short and straight and spikey, I think I like it, I need to play some more with it I think

What to do?

I havent been posting because I'm embarrassed by the fact that I have really nothing to say, my life is full of nothing, I wake up go to a nothing job, spend my money on stupid nothing clothes that I don't need or that will go out of fashion within weeks or books I will forget the moment I complete them.

I need to think of something to do and soon, nothing is killing me.

or at least making me really really bored

What to do?

I havent been posting because I'm embarrassed by the fact that I have really nothing to say, my life is full of nothing, I wake up go to a nothing job, spend my money on stupid nothing clothes that I don't need or that will go out of fashion within weeks or books I will forget the moment I complete them.

I need to think of something to do and soon, nothing is killing me.

or at least making me really really bored

Days of Wine and Roses

Last week has been spent in an alcohol fuelled blur, i have been dancing in nightclubs, drinking at 'Trannie' bars seeing strip shows and Belting out Bon Jovi at Karaoke nights, I am getting the next ten years of partying out in these two weeks because i'm swearing I will never drink in excess again... until my birthday that is

cough, splutter the 3rd of March, cough, cough

Anyway have totally cleared through everything I have saved on drinking with Das Hausguest, but it has been fun and I don't have many friends so when I get one for two whole weeks I just go crazy yo.

Anyway I have to sleep my liver hurts

Kimberly's New Years Resolve

a) I will write more frequently
b) I will try to be more positive
c) I will try to not press the snooze button more than three times any morning
d) I will try to be more positive about life, after all all men aren't assholes, all women aren't cunts and all short people aren't goblins
e) I will save money, more importantly I will save the type of money that can fold rather than the money that can rattle
f) I will try to leave Australia for at least a day this year even if it just means me taking a kayak all the way into international waters.
g) I will be nicer to people and keep my insulting thoughts and comments to a minimum
h) I will lose weight for my mother after all if Oprah can do it with a billion dollars a personal chef and personal trainer I can do it with $7.33 in savings and a couple of soup cans for weights
i) I will buy my brother something he would never buy himself (but it won't be a hooker like I had originally planned)
j) TO BE CONTINUED

The significance of Aluminum to Kimberly a.k.a. I can't sleep

I got really drunk with 'Das Hausguest' and watched "Napoleon Dynamite" I now can't sleep, I have just been on an hour walk through the mean streets of 'the ville' and am still not tired, I have now two options a)lie in bed and letr my thoughts entertain me, or scare me with because they tend to err on the homicidal or b) stay up and hope that I won't fall asleep at work while operating some dangerous mechanical device.

I'm feeling kinda angry and bitter, I know it's due to a lot of aimlessness in life, oh well I now have an aim, I am going to do as much irreversible damage to my organs this month and see what happens.

Ok I'm not really, I can't afford to be an alcoholic unless pubs start accepting soda can ring pulls instead of actual money, which does make sense in the long term because aluminum is so much lighter and you could string them onto things and make the whole money thing, fun and incredibly convenient.

Ok I just really have a surplus of ring pulls and that is odd in itself because I don't like drinking things from cans in general.

Speaking of cans it reminds me of a story about my father, back in the day he used to be quite the party animal, He had parties at his house every weekend and had whole rooms dedicated to making alcohol (he gave me the best recipie for homemade tia maria the secret is International roast coffee) anyway after these parties my father would collect all the cans which would always be in the hundreds and collect all the ringpulls for his major work of art "The ringpull chandelier" Now I wasn't born in the period nor had my Father and Mother met, but I have seen a few photos, and it was a huge majestic glistening monolith and would prgressively get larger and larger after every party and it became the reason why people would come to his parties (that and my father believed in sharing his massive alccohol collection free of charge) Anyway the chandelier was beautiful but being aluminium it had many pros and cons, Aluminum is incredibly light and during a party Dad's chandelier was stolen, he searched high and low, there was almost 100, 000 ringpulls in it (according to several of Dad's friends) and about three or four years of solid work, there were un confirmed sightings all over Australia and apparently a sighting in Thailand, but it was never ever recovered.

And that is why I have a fascination for ring pulls and, also the fact that I cannot sleep has made me think that my thoughts and rambling stories about dead fathers are what you want to read.

The Hostess with the Mostess

well in about four or five hours I will have a house-guest (how the fuck do you write that?), which should be fine except for the fact that I hate people with a passion, and even though Houseguest (?) is actually a close friend, it sucks that I will have to pretend to be remotely clean, and not walk around 'Casa del Kimberly' in my period underwear spritzing myself with a water spray to keep myself cool, I'll have to be dressed for the next fortnight, gah!

People from my old diary (you know the one that doesn't exist anymore) will know the Hausguest (?) under a more sinister moniker (for the stupid that means he had a more diabolical name) but here we shall refer to him as something else like maybe his christian name... But stay tuned kiddies, I'm guessing it will be a slightly more exciting blog in the next couple of weeks, or I will turf his English arse out within twenty minutes of his arrival due to the crazy heat, Gah! i hate being a friend it really does suck arse and not in the good "I accidentally got the vaccumn nozzle stuck down my pants kind of way"

Happy New Year

On

NYE 2005 006
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

My New Years Eve, I hung out with gal pal Boo, we got remotely drunk, walked around Darling Harbour, had many people look at out breasts(mainly Boo's she has a killer rack!) yeah we were kinda skankily dressed (as you can see in the photo that was taken by a drunken Englishman) But Boo, had Jesus nestled in between her boobs whereas I had crumbs from lunch, oh and I was fighting the killer migraine caused by light up head-gear that was made for tiny headed people not my fat headed majestic afroed self, but it was the funnest night and I lost lots of money at casino after the fireworks. Oh well to a kickarse 2006!

It's Christmas day, I am waiting up for my brothers arrival, I should be cleaning my flat, but I'm procrastinating as usual, but I did make him trifle which is sort of the same. It's the first official Christmas trifle I have made without the assistance of dad, I started crying when the jelly wouldn't set right but it went alright and hopefully nobody will die.

I am uber broke, and I have a million things to do.

I have to update you on a few things theres mystery, mayhem and more men than you can poke a stick at (that is assuming you can only poke a stick at one man at the most)

Merry Christmas, and etc. and bug me and keep on bugging me until i post again

It all ends tommorrow.

I graduate tomorrow,
next stop the Apocalypse.
I'm scared.
I'm excited.
I don't know what to do.
any ideas?

WARNING: you may be able to see a boobie

bodypaaintingedit02
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is a body painting I just did last week, it's my take on one of my most favourite artworks ever "Girl Before a Mirror" by Picasso, it's just such a bright, beautiful painting, and always makes me feel much more creative, I just hope my work did it justice I mean it's fucking Picasso for chris'sakes

Another sample of my work.

ageingedit01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is a before and after photo of my mother, In the photo on the left she is forty-five and wearing a nice basic make-up in the photo isn't she cute, but in the photo on the right I made her up to be a sixty-five year old homeless person.

She didn't like me much that day but if she doesn't look after me that could be her future.

(ooh and the beannie she is wearing I knitted that!)

A potent mix.

The combination of red wine, sex, cigarettes and me thinking I could dance to the end credits of a movie has resulted in me spending six hours in the emergency ward and eight stitches in my right leg and one in my left.

My apartment right now looks like it has been used as a maxi-pad, I should do something about that.

Oh yeah and "one night stand boy" has been upgraded to dating status, and will now be referred to as 'Rocky' I seem to bring out the bad 'Rocky Balboa' impersonation out in him.

But he is really cute.

I feel more and more inept everyday, I was thinking it was some sort of depression associated with the end of the year and of school and the like but it's not a depression it's genuine ineptitude, I feel like I'm getting stupider (?) and more useless.

Am developing far too much of a fondness for red wine... it's just soooo nice

I need a change, a new job, a new plan, a new hairstyle, I wonder how I'd go as a blonde?

I don't need it... really.

I just want to be useful again.

Maybe I'm not feeling inept, just unwanted.

Is this is what being human feels like?

I met "one night stand boy" again after work last night and got blind drunk and took him home.
We stayed up late watching dvd's and having sex, this whole entire day was spent sleeping, having sex and watching dvd's naked, and I had fun, and I felt human...ish it was relaxing and did I mention fun.

However now I will be up all night doing assignments I should of completed today.

Oh the sacrifices I make for sex.

But fuck it was worth it!

Well theres the...

Stupid one night stand i had on Saturday night, it was fun, he was fun, it was good, he was good, I was good he was incredibly stupid.
Sunday was work I was stupid and tired and employers took advantage.
Monday was exam I was oh so tired and feeling much worse for wear.
Monday Night I went to a secret Dandy Warhols concert at "The Annandale Hotel"
Tuesday I couldn't wake up my heat ached my body ached, my throat was swollen
Wednesday (Today) I wake up I still can'tswallow I have tonsilitis

I want to die

I'd try to sleep but everytime I close my eyes I get an image of a young man dancing around the room wearing nothing but a used condom and singing "Eye of the tiger" this seems to the type of man I seem to attract.

It could be worse he could of been short.

The dandy warhols

The dandy warhols
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Am at the secret Dandy Warhols at the Annandale Hotel it's rocking the casbah