Splendour in the Grass: In Summary

It freakin rocked the proverbial casbah!

My period started on the first day

Then at the gates I realised I had forgotten my i.d.

But I batted my eyelids and managed to get in.

I barely slept all weekend, and when I did I didn't do it well, thank goodness for drugs and organic dark chocolate filled doughnuts.

I consumed more doughnuts than drugs I must say.

I consumed more doughnuts than oxygen at splendour.

I consumed more soup than doughnuts at splendour.

Oh apparently there was some music too.

I spent an awful lot of time drinking goon in the carpark with my brother and his friends.

I also spent an awful lot of time in the carpark looking after my brother after he passed out after consuming too much goon in the carpark.

I spent an awful lot of money

I spent around twenty hours in a rental van.

I spent several hours boiling water for coffee every morning only to find out when leaving the camp-site that there was a public urn on the camp-site that was free to use.

I purchased an awful lot of plastic jewellery.

I spent an awful lot of time bulldozing through crowds either to get closer to the stage or further away from it.

I spent ten minutes today trying to remove my admission bracelet.

Operator Please, Old Man River,Tilly and the Wall, The Herd, The Cat Empire, Sarah Blasko, Hot Chip, Cut Copy DJ's, Holly Throsby, Josh Pike, Hot Chip DJ's, Hoodoo Gurus, Dirty Three, The Shins and The Artic Monkeys are who I got to see.

I will so be back next year. It took me several hours sitting at my computer to get the tickets but I'm so glad I did.

My Sydney Riot: Part Deux

Just got home festival was fan-fucking-tastic, but that might be because of the copious amounts of alcohol and the pill I took today.

Actually it was amazing every band I saw were great and the D.J's kicked right royal arse!

I bumped into an old girlfriend from make-up school and we talked and talked and talked, and danced and talked some more, bumped into more people from various other make-up jobs and we had a right royal blast, I left them all as they were progressing to some after party as I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed which I plan on doing soon.

I'm now thinking about the last time I took a pill which was my birthday (remember when I threw up on about fifteen people on a bus) which reminded me of the person I covered the most in vomit 'The Americano' which is now leading to the thought of sex, which is now making me horny.

Or I could really go some ice-cream right now.

Anyways I'm happy and horny, possibly hungry

My Sydney Riot

I have nothing much to say, I'm on my way to the 'My Sydney Riot' Festival, yay alcohol and music, and the last 'Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers' full show for three months which makes me sad because they are a great live act.


So if you are there and see a fat girl stumbling around say hi, or better still steer clear, or better still come along and hit on Boo, she'll be there too and needs some boy action.

The play ends tonight which is a shame, as it was so much fun, which means tonight I party, and to make sure I keep away from the beer I bought a whole bottle of lime flavoured vodka, mainly because I can handle vodka in large amounts and b I don't really like vodka so will most likely mix my drinks with as little as possible, I was going to go with wine, but it's too cheap and too easy to get plastered on.

If only I had drugs, this whole partying thing would be a whole lot easier.

I Got the Golden Ticket

I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me

'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye

It Only took three hours of clicking a button every sixty seconds, but I did it I'm going to Splendour!!!!!!!

I'm going with Boo, and my Brother, and lots of other friends. I'm so happy it looks like an awful lot of people missed out and are very very pissed off

I'm going to Splendour.

i'm tipsy...ish

i just got home from make-up job and seeing a band, and seeing a friend,

it's all good and the fact that I no lnger consume refined sugar makes it really easy for me to get drunk, three beers and I'm all smily.

did I mention that I have given up refined and pocessed sugar?

PROBABLY DIDN'T It doesn't really sound klike something I would say.

I like talking to boys while drinking beer, it's sooo much fun.

uyes I know i shouldn't be drinking beer, but wine sucks and I cannot drink lolluy drinks.'
get of my calse mum.

mmmm sleep.

The band sucked, iok the band didn't suck but theikr lead singer was as charismati as a nazi with leprosy and the sound was really distorted and because of cast memebers beinfg late I missed out on seeing the act I wanted to see.

ok now to bed

You know you wanna.

I've decided I'm going to Splendour this year.

So who wants to come with me? we will dance, get drunk, get ?????, and then dance some more and sleep in tents, and do it all again.

You know you wanna.

C'mon

I haven't posted much of late because I took my computer to a repair guy and when I got it back it wouldn't connect onto the internet.

That and I have had a life... ok not so much of a life but I've actually been busy, busy, busy.

and yes saying something three times makes it seem much more important.

On Monday: I saw my beloved 'Richie' and we had coffee and caught up and hugged and ate thai food, all in all my perfect friend date.

On Monday Night: Dumbass Chef/DJ/Ex calls me and propositions me for sex, I being Miss High and Mighty 2006 turned him down with the (fake) excuse that I have a boyfriend, he being the dumbass that he is then asked me what I thought about "a bit on the side?" I proceeded to laugh at him and suggest instead of sex that we catch up for a coffee, I wonder why he didn't take me up on my offer?

On Tuesday & Wednesday: Nothing to Report

On Thursday (Yesterday): After work at "The Company" me and girlfriend from work, head to the Annandale to see a friends band "Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers" My intention for the night was that I would see the band and get home by midnight... Of course I always seem to forget that I am Kimberly and I never manage to stick to any plans. So my early night ended up being an all night conversation with a friend of a friend of mine who I unexpectedly bumped into at 'The Annandale' that was punctuated with lots of alcohol and the occasional pub shutting down, all in all we managed to stay in pubs until 6am I felt so rock and roll. Plus I made a new friend and he seems to rock.

Now I'm On my way to work and a night out with my other beloved Boo, I have only slept an hour so I don't think I'll last long tonight, wish me luck.

I haven't posted much of late because I took my computer to a repair guy and when I got it back it wouldn't connect onto the internet.

That and I have had a life... ok not so much of a life but I've actually been busy, busy, busy.

and yes saying something three times makes it seem much more important.

On Monday: I saw my beloved 'Richie' and we had coffee and caught up and hugged and ate thai food, all in all my perfect friend date.

On Monday Night: Dumbass Chef/DJ/Ex calls me and propositions me for sex, I being Miss High and Mighty 2006 turned him down with the (fake) excuse that I have a boyfriend, he being the dumbass that he is then asked me what I thought about "a bit on the side?" I proceeded to laugh at him and suggest instead of sex that we catch up for a coffee, I wonder why he didn't take me up on my offer?

On Tuesday & Wednesday: Nothing to Report

On Thursday (Yesterday): After work at "The Company" me and girlfriend from work, head to the Annandale to see a friends band "Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers" My intention for the night was that I would see the band and get home by midnight... Of course I always seem to forget that I am Kimberly and I never manage to stick to any plans. So my early night ended up being an all night conversation with a friend of a friend of mine who I unexpectedly bumped into at 'The Annandale' that was punctuated with lots of alcohol and the occasional pub shutting down, all in all we managed to stay in pubs until 6am I felt so rock and roll. Plus I made a new friend and he seems to rock.

Now I'm On my way to work and a night out with my other beloved Boo, I have only slept an hour so I don't think I'll last long tonight, wish me luck.

I suck at quitting jobs I really do, the last time I resigned from a job, my boss managed to convince me to stay on another month and a half on a quarter of my wage... (slight exaggeration, more like half)

Well you see tonight I quit my waitressing job, I was fine I was enjoying my job, it's so easy except for the Angry vain boss, who contradicts everything he says and and annoying mix CD of ethnic music interspersed with Celine Dion on constant loop.

It was great tonight all wonderful customers, I was wonderful, so wonderful a patron offered me a very large tip, now it's to be said in Australia in restaurants, cafes and the like that tips usually left on the table go into a communal tip jar and either are divided amongst the staff equally or more often than not go into a end of week/month booze fund for the staff, but that's OK Australia isn't a tipping country, and since I have been working there I know patrons have been leaving some lovely tips so I was looking forward to my cut of it, So like the money hungry person that I am asked what happens to the tips?

Boss:
Nobody gets tips here, how do you think I pay you
Kimberly:
(that's me remember) Well don't you pay staff and all other expenses related to the restaurant from the revenue obtained from the food that you serve?
Boss:
Go Away! Take these entrees to table 6

The seed was finally planted, since I decided to take this job countless people My Brother, Mother, The Americano, The Homeless lady with the Garbage Bag Dress have all told me to quit, but I ignored them all mostly because I do it so well and partly because I like money, but tonight I cracked, after he yelled at me for not doing something that he yelled at me earlier for doing... well I didn't so much crack as laugh and say "well have a nice life" it was quiet, and restrained for me but when I got outside I laughed and skipped home while in my head the 'I got a golden ticket' song was going through my head, I have to quit jobs more often.

I haven't posted recently, uni has resumed, work is at full swing and I have had some semblance of a life... and I have been trying to think of a way to describe my birthday without a) incriminating myself, b) incriminating others and most importantly c) humiliating myself but I can't do anything that doesn't in some way humilate myself so here it is, yet another patented Kimberly tale of public humiliation.

OK my birthday rocked, I had a blast, I had Teppanyaki and Cocktails with my beloved friends (and former d-landers) Tit-ho and Boo the day before, and woke up on my birthday sluggish dehydrated and well after midday... all good signs in my opinion.

Surfing the net on my birthday I saw the first sign that my birthday would rock "the rocky horror picture show" was screening that night...

OK I have intentionally not mentioned a certain person of late primarily because I know he reads this thing... well you see I have been 'seeing' him but I won't be using the term 'seeing' as it apparently indicates something long term (his words not mine) and however blast one does describe the situation I am in (I refuse to use the term fuckbuddy as it makes me seem like a gullible slut with no self esteem... but it is an almost suitable term except I am not 'that' gullible or pathetic) but he is a foreigner and he leaves the country soon, Boo has nicknamed him 'The Americano' and as I cannot think of a suitable nickname without revealing his identity so I too will be calling him 'The Americano' and also it makes him sound rather exotic.

Anyways back to my Birthday, On my way to meet 'The Americano' I realise that I have forgotten my house keys therefore am locked out, that should of been the first sign of a night destined for ruin. I met with 'The Americano' and we saw 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'... yes please bear with me it's not a very amusing anecdote yet. Anyway the movie rocked partly because it's a great movie and partly because we may of smoked something beforehand... yes I know drugs are bad, but it's my birthday... so shut up.

Anyway the night was still young and my birthday coincided with 'The Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras' so we had to go out and party some more, we may of ingested a little round thing each, but details are hazy in regards to that part. And we crawled down oxford st, and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced, I danced so much that I had forgotten that I had consumed nothing all day except a toasted cheese sandwich and an ice cream and a few.. a few alcoholic beverages.

As the night drew to a close came the most memorable part of the night, exhausted beyond belief, 'The Americano' and I catch the bus home, I'm a little dizzy a little tired and a little gassy and I let out a little cough.

Except what I thought was a cough wasn't... and after I finished my cough I realise that 'The Americano' and the two girls sitting on the other side of me and myself are all covered in vomit, my vomit.

I have heard lots of stories from lots of people about drunken vomiting in public, I however in my many years of being a lush have avoided the trend itself, and would always point and laugh at all those pathetic people who did it as it's so sad. Well on the first day of the 23rd year of my life I slipped down a notch and joined the tragic drunks of the world.


What made it worse was not the two innocent strangers who I covered with my bile but the fact that I had covered the Americano and myself in my stomach contents and that now we would have to go back to his house as I couldn't run to my house and hide as I was locked out covered in my vomit.

What I should mention that due to things ingested earlier that evening the whole experience at the time was hilarious and in hindsight still is, with all the bad things said about drugs, it makes vomiting on people (and apparently being vomited on also) a much more pleasant experience.

What I have learnt from my experience.

• That it is very difficult to wash vomit out of clothing in a bathtub while naked and trying not to wake-up the flatmates.
  
• It is very difficult to strike a conversation with someone that you have vomited over.

Kimberly:
So sorry about that

Americano:
It's OK it Happens

Kimberly:
yeah I know but it's so... Oh wait hold on there some partially digested orange segment in your hair

Americano:
Oh yeah thanks

Kimberly:
So...

Americano:
So...

• When you have money you should place it in your wallet and not crumple it into a ball and hope it falls into your handbag
• Stories about public vomiting are great ice breakers when talking to strangers.

Went to the Big Day Out the other day and I had a blast.

I stayed in on Australia Day and I had a blast.

I pretended I lost my voice today so I could sleep in and have poached eggs instead of going to work and doing nothing, and guess what? I had a blast.

I have to go to market research work tomorrow but only for three hours so tommorrow I'll have a blast.

This week has been really good.

It's toothpaste that helps get rid of hickeys? right?

or is it hickies?