Um err I um, I might of been a little drunk last night, I managed to get an invite to a British India show at the Annandale, decided I also wanted to see improv comedy as well (I like the improv comedy) so went and saw some of that too, I dragged my darling Boo out into the cold and we drank and laughed and we drank and then we drank and then we went to Maccas, and boo being the darling she is ate the bread off my burgers so I wouldn't get sick, I loves her ever so much.


I think I'm still a little drunk.

dancing with myself

where are trhe americnjanos when yuou are drunk and horny????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


Just went out with boo, we got very drunk and I got very drunker, just got home and AI want to ewat lots and lots fo breeatd . Tuesdays rochk the fucking cashbahhik!

keyboad keeps on moving keep still dan=mmit, three dollars get out o here!

woot I need a burger or twi


I ne ed gto

P.S> I love uyou bvooo!

The other day

The other day I saw a crow swoop onto a pigeon, fight with it and take it's head clean off, I was just thinking about it and that sort of thing isn't the kind of thing you see every day (unless you breed pigeons and crows for some sort of extreme to-the-death cock fights) this was all happening about a couple of metres in front of me and all I was thinking as I was fumbling in my pocket for my camera was this would get so many hits on YouTube.

I am the future, isn't that a reassuring thought?

Number One in the Hood!

Whilst he was here "The Americano" introduced me to this little t.v. show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" he also introduced me to throwing up on strangers OK he may not of been technically responsible for it but he was there at the time, and I have never thrown up in public before that so in my head he seems to be the cause. Anyway the point of the story is that I really enjoyed the show and yesterday whilst I was grocery shopping I saw the first season D.V.D. and spent a good ten minutes deliberating if food this week was really that important.

Of course D.V.D won and now I'm hungry, Ok I have plenty of food at home I just like fresh food, and I like having a fridge full of Haloumi, which won't happen this week, so I'm slumming it with Tofu. Blergh! OK it's not that bad I like tofu and I make the most divine Salt and Pepper Tofu (it's like the squid only more tofuey and much cheaper)

Mother is visiting now she brought carrot cake, I told her that I can't eat carrot cake or any other cake and haven't been doing so for several months.


INT: KIMBERLY'S APARTMENT,

MOTHER:
Are you on a diet?

KIMBERLY:
Technically yes.

MOTHER:
Oh Honey! you've lost weight too!

KIMBERLY:
yes I have.

MOTHER:
Honey, if you lose weight I will love you more.

KIMBERLY:
Mum?

MOTHER:
Yes Honey?

KIMBERLY:
You have it wrong, it's 'I would love it , if you lost more weight'

MOTHER:
Really? oh OK, you want some cake?

Now I'm going to curl up with some tofu and watch some ATHF.

wrecked and ruined

On Monday, Brother and I finally signed the last of the bloody documents...

The "Dead Dad Estate" looks like it's finally settled, I'm happy...ish

It was good going up to Newcastle, seeing Deryn and looking at the "Pasha Bulker" wreck on Nobby's Beach,

If you don't know about the Pasha Bulker click here.

And look at the mobile phone photo I took



It's funny there were hundreds of tourists all lined along the road, looking and taking photos of the wreck, and apparently it gets even more crowded at night because it's all lit up and gorgeous, they all want to get their photos taken in front of it before they repair her and she leaves.

The photo does not show how huge the boat is, it really is a massive site, and it's all on a beach I have been to hundreds of times.

I in my typical tasteless style wanted to get a photo of Deryn and me in front of the wreck, Deryn in his typical "Anti-whatever-Kimberly-wants-to-do" style disagreed but he obliged me with a cheesy "myspace-style" self portrait.



We were both cute kids, that had a really hideous adolescence, but I think my brother and I might turn out to be tolerable adults.

But yeah Deryn and I are getting slightly more attractive and the estate is settled, It's not much but I am at a pretty happy place right now, now where's the man who wants to marry me?

stu-pid-i-ty

�noun, plural -ties for 2.
1.
the state, quality, or fact of being stupid.
2.
a stupid act, notion, speech, etc.
3.
Kimberly.


So on Friday night, after work I go to another friends birthday party and drag along my dear friend Boo, because she needs to party too, and I'm having a great time dancing to the cheesiest music, anyways the night tapers off and I check my phone and am shocked to find a lewd sms by the ex we know on here as "Rocky" so anyways, I respond with a nice "how are you" and the text messages taper off as the night winds down, I taxi it home then I pass out in bed.

The next morning I get woken by my phone ringing, it's "Rocky" wanting to chat, which leads to an invitation for drinks, which makes me all curious as to why he is contacting me now a year since we were together and also I want my copy of "1984" back so I agree and head to Newtown for a couple of hours...

I started on diet coke, which turned into beer, my leaving time went from seven pm to one am, we just talked but I know he wants me (mainly because he said it to me). But I don't know if I'm tempted enough. I'm hoping my slight level of temptation was alcohol related.

I'm stupid aren't I?

nothing to say, staying up late reading net comics.

click here

now laugh

I have nothing to say other than other than I am addicted to Facebook now, if you are on there go join the group 'The Farce Side' it's has more great cartoons like the one above by my friend Nib, and then add me as a friend so I can stalk you on yet another networking site.

I NEED A MAN!!

OK the title sounds desperate and in many ways I am desperate...

OK I'm not really desperate but I have just been out all night dancing the night away and I am ready to jump and maul the nearest human being.

So help me people where does one find someone who doesn't mind being mauled at 5am on a Sunday morning? I am willing to pay***








***Payment would be made in compliments or preserves or a combination of both, to be used within six months of said mauling

feeling like a girl

I must be ovulating or something, I'm gooey and sentimental at the moment, I saw some parts of the telemovie 'Anne of Green Gables- The Sequel' on the T.V. and started getting all gooey over my childhood fantasies that involved me and Gilbert Blythe and him confessing his undying love for me while dying of typhoid (as was the style in those days) which led me to thinking about all the other L.M. Montgomery books I had read (a quick Google made me realise I had read them all) but in particular this one little romantic tale that I used to read it's in the novel "The Golden Road" anyways there is this one chapter that make me all gooey whenever I read it, it's meant to be written by the point of view of a thirteen year old girl who is a precocious story teller, but I read it again last night and was a blubbering mess.

Anyway I want you to read it and tell me that it is worthy of my uterine contractions. it's only five mins I assure you.

Let me present to you "The Love Story of the Awkward Man"

I'm such a suck

Deryn wants to move to Armidale

Mother is planning on moving back to San Francisco

In the meantime I will be here in Sydney

We will all be a considerable distance apart from each other which a good thing politically, OK I'm not pissed off about Mum going back to America, I like her a lot more when she is overseas, and it means I can use visiting her as an excuse when I go to Tijuana on drinking binge holidays.

I am however pissed off about Deryn, he should move to Sydney with me and cook stuff for me on demand, not go further away and cook stuff for other people on demand.

OK I am more pissed off with me because I'm at a crossroads and have been tempted to change courses (yet again) and go back to my original plan of teaching, and also leaving Sydney.

But of course I would suck as a teacher and really would only be doing it for the holidays.

Can someone make a decision for me and tell me what to do?, I hate being a grown up and having to do all this crap for myself.

As a thank you I'll make you some jam.

My bad luck: brought to you by the letter "L"

I just went rummaging through my lame-ass attempt at "The worlds greatest D.V.D. collection" thinking what would be a good movie to drink cocoa to before bed, I don't feel like anything too draining.

As I looked through my collection, a shimmering white cover caught my eye, it was a recent purchase of mine a lucky one as it was only ten dollars, it was the D.V.D. of one of my favourite musicals "Gigi"

As I settle down with my cocoa, ready to watch a lovely movie I open the case and see the hideous image of Jennifer Lopez grabbing Ben Affleck by his shirt and in hideous purple letters "Gigli"

Anyway the point of the story is one stray "l" has ruined my night

Sick

I had to cancel work yesterday and today, because I have a bloody cold, and voice is all scratchy.

Well at least I'll finally get to sleep.

And a previous post related tnagent, Did you know that consuming large amounts of Brussel Sprouts has a similar effect to asparagus when peeing? well I didn't and now I do know, interesting stuff isn't it?

I'm going to crawl back in under my doona/duvet/quilt blanket type thing, overdose on paracetamol and wish for a boy who can make me sugar-free cocoa and give neck rubs while reminding me of how hot I am.

Winter means...

I like winter it means I can drink lots of sugar-free, dairy-free, flavour-free cocoa, mmm with some fake peppermint essence to make it more wintery.

It means brussel sprouts are in season, which means they are cheap and and yummy and not the soggy frozen ones I have to make do with the rest of the year, I bought two kilos today and I think they will last me until tomorrow.

Have I ever told you that I have a major addiction to brussel sprouts? well I do.

It means I can now move into my dykey winter uniform of jeans, chuck taylors and novelty t-shirts with trench coats.

It means I can bring out my ugly beanie collection in the name of warmth.

Added bonus: ugly beanies cover up, my hideous hair at the moment (I'm growing out my hair back to the Afro of yore, which means I have taken a vow this year not to colour, straighten or do anything cool and exciting to my hair until it's at least shoulder length which is pissing me off)

Speaking of hair I have been growing my armpit hair for the last two months, If you ever get the chance to do it, you should it's really quite fun, my armpit hair is considerably lighter than my head hair.

Why am I doing it? well because I can and because there are no men in my life at the moment and I really have no desire to find men in the near future, thus I don't have to be so regimented with the grooming and I have always wondered if it is possible to grow armpit hair to a length that can be plaited... only time will tell.

My Sydney Riot: Part Deux

Just got home festival was fan-fucking-tastic, but that might be because of the copious amounts of alcohol and the pill I took today.

Actually it was amazing every band I saw were great and the D.J's kicked right royal arse!

I bumped into an old girlfriend from make-up school and we talked and talked and talked, and danced and talked some more, bumped into more people from various other make-up jobs and we had a right royal blast, I left them all as they were progressing to some after party as I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed which I plan on doing soon.

I'm now thinking about the last time I took a pill which was my birthday (remember when I threw up on about fifteen people on a bus) which reminded me of the person I covered the most in vomit 'The Americano' which is now leading to the thought of sex, which is now making me horny.

Or I could really go some ice-cream right now.

Anyways I'm happy and horny, possibly hungry

My Sydney Riot

I have nothing much to say, I'm on my way to the 'My Sydney Riot' Festival, yay alcohol and music, and the last 'Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers' full show for three months which makes me sad because they are a great live act.


So if you are there and see a fat girl stumbling around say hi, or better still steer clear, or better still come along and hit on Boo, she'll be there too and needs some boy action.

My Darling brother has come to visit me which means watching DVD's and eating yummy food, except I cannot eat anything yummy, which makes me sad (insert frowny face here)

I got over it when I bought hideously expensive giant strawberries, they would of been a whole lot better if they were accompanied with chocolate and double cream.

Deryn did however buy me a huge warm hooded jumper with decapitated monkeys on it, it's so deliciously ugly.

Am flat out with work at the moment, last night they told me I was a star.

I am craving haloumi at the moment I want to eat it by the kilo with rocket and a balsamic reduction.

Twas a big night

I had a big night last night, a fun one too!

No sugar means I am pissed after one drink.

Good because it means I'm a cheap drunk, but bad because I believe in drinking until my money or my booze runs out (so usually it's over after three drinks) but because I wasn't poor or short of booze I pushed and I pushed.

Also because I'm trying my darnedest to avoid the delicious taste of beer, I had vodka and diet lemonade.

Anyway, because I was too drunk to trust myself on public transport I went with the $60 taxi home.

Well at least I know now I'm too poor to drink to excess this week.

But I did have a blast, so risking my physical health to be more social was so worth it.

I am very easily amused.

see?

The play ends tonight which is a shame, as it was so much fun, which means tonight I party, and to make sure I keep away from the beer I bought a whole bottle of lime flavoured vodka, mainly because I can handle vodka in large amounts and b I don't really like vodka so will most likely mix my drinks with as little as possible, I was going to go with wine, but it's too cheap and too easy to get plastered on.

If only I had drugs, this whole partying thing would be a whole lot easier.

Bloody Cycles

I hate being a girl, I hate being controlled by the surging hormones that come from my front bottom area, it's not the blood that irks me, the blood is nothing (we just over dramatise it to get out of things we want to avoid) it's the fact that last week I wanted to sleep all day, this week I want to fuck anything that moves and next week I'll want to bake cakes and talk about my feelings then forget immediately what I did and then bake more cakes and talk more about my feelings.

Just rereading that statement you could easily say, well dear it sounds more like Manic Depression... wait did I say that? that's not very polite of me of course I meant to say Bipolar Disorder, but alas I cannot blame it on my mind because once 'The Reds vacation in the summer house' I am a normal person again for a week or two.

I Got the Golden Ticket

I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me

'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye

It Only took three hours of clicking a button every sixty seconds, but I did it I'm going to Splendour!!!!!!!

I'm going with Boo, and my Brother, and lots of other friends. I'm so happy it looks like an awful lot of people missed out and are very very pissed off

I'm going to Splendour.

OkStupid Message for the Day

Ok so I have mentioned that my profile is on a 'networking' site it's really not much of a deal as the only men who contact me are usually good christian men from nigeria who are looking for a bride, So I got excited when I saw a message in my inbox that wasn't a marriage proposal until I read it properly


"hi i see you are freinds (sic) with Boo i think see i very very sexy in her pics any chance you could ask her to check her messages please thankyou"

Now I'll agree readily that Boo is one of the sexiest people I know but, but she is also an absolute grammar bitch, sometimes I wonder how we get along as my typing is atrocious and my usage of words is usually 90% inappropriate (granted most of my knowledge of the English language has come from word of the day toilet paper) but anyway, when I got that message and looked at his profile and decided that he wasn't quite suitable.

i'm tipsy...ish

i just got home from make-up job and seeing a band, and seeing a friend,

it's all good and the fact that I no lnger consume refined sugar makes it really easy for me to get drunk, three beers and I'm all smily.

did I mention that I have given up refined and pocessed sugar?

PROBABLY DIDN'T It doesn't really sound klike something I would say.

I like talking to boys while drinking beer, it's sooo much fun.

uyes I know i shouldn't be drinking beer, but wine sucks and I cannot drink lolluy drinks.'
get of my calse mum.

mmmm sleep.

The band sucked, iok the band didn't suck but theikr lead singer was as charismati as a nazi with leprosy and the sound was really distorted and because of cast memebers beinfg late I missed out on seeing the act I wanted to see.

ok now to bed

should I sue?

I was in a book store today and some graphic designer has obviously been heavily inspired by my rear end, (minus the stretch marks and cellulite)

What if I'm not the only one with my tattoo, what if someone else has the exact same thing on their lower back, I'm all worried now.

Ok my tattoo isn't exactly the same, it looks completely different, but it does have the word tattoo in it.


I'm really pathetic aren't I?

You know you wanna.

I've decided I'm going to Splendour this year.

So who wants to come with me? we will dance, get drunk, get ?????, and then dance some more and sleep in tents, and do it all again.

You know you wanna.

C'mon

I cannot afford it but gosh darn I am so in love with my new perfume I now smell so pretty, which makes me all happy.

Now I'm off to make people look like insects, a friend needed a make-up artist (which I happen to be) and I am bored and in a good mood so I agreed, so until the 19th I haven't got a night to myself, well except maybe tomorrow night I might go see a gig.

I haven't posted much of late because I took my computer to a repair guy and when I got it back it wouldn't connect onto the internet.

That and I have had a life... ok not so much of a life but I've actually been busy, busy, busy.

and yes saying something three times makes it seem much more important.

On Monday: I saw my beloved 'Richie' and we had coffee and caught up and hugged and ate thai food, all in all my perfect friend date.

On Monday Night: Dumbass Chef/DJ/Ex calls me and propositions me for sex, I being Miss High and Mighty 2006 turned him down with the (fake) excuse that I have a boyfriend, he being the dumbass that he is then asked me what I thought about "a bit on the side?" I proceeded to laugh at him and suggest instead of sex that we catch up for a coffee, I wonder why he didn't take me up on my offer?

On Tuesday & Wednesday: Nothing to Report

On Thursday (Yesterday): After work at "The Company" me and girlfriend from work, head to the Annandale to see a friends band "Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers" My intention for the night was that I would see the band and get home by midnight... Of course I always seem to forget that I am Kimberly and I never manage to stick to any plans. So my early night ended up being an all night conversation with a friend of a friend of mine who I unexpectedly bumped into at 'The Annandale' that was punctuated with lots of alcohol and the occasional pub shutting down, all in all we managed to stay in pubs until 6am I felt so rock and roll. Plus I made a new friend and he seems to rock.

Now I'm On my way to work and a night out with my other beloved Boo, I have only slept an hour so I don't think I'll last long tonight, wish me luck.

I haven't posted much of late because I took my computer to a repair guy and when I got it back it wouldn't connect onto the internet.

That and I have had a life... ok not so much of a life but I've actually been busy, busy, busy.

and yes saying something three times makes it seem much more important.

On Monday: I saw my beloved 'Richie' and we had coffee and caught up and hugged and ate thai food, all in all my perfect friend date.

On Monday Night: Dumbass Chef/DJ/Ex calls me and propositions me for sex, I being Miss High and Mighty 2006 turned him down with the (fake) excuse that I have a boyfriend, he being the dumbass that he is then asked me what I thought about "a bit on the side?" I proceeded to laugh at him and suggest instead of sex that we catch up for a coffee, I wonder why he didn't take me up on my offer?

On Tuesday & Wednesday: Nothing to Report

On Thursday (Yesterday): After work at "The Company" me and girlfriend from work, head to the Annandale to see a friends band "Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers" My intention for the night was that I would see the band and get home by midnight... Of course I always seem to forget that I am Kimberly and I never manage to stick to any plans. So my early night ended up being an all night conversation with a friend of a friend of mine who I unexpectedly bumped into at 'The Annandale' that was punctuated with lots of alcohol and the occasional pub shutting down, all in all we managed to stay in pubs until 6am I felt so rock and roll. Plus I made a new friend and he seems to rock.

Now I'm On my way to work and a night out with my other beloved Boo, I have only slept an hour so I don't think I'll last long tonight, wish me luck.

Sometimes I swear my life is being filmed and it's being turned into some indie-comedy with an annoying female lead.

I have no time to write right now, I have no idea when it happened but I'm all of a sudden very busy.

OK Stupid

Last night I went out with Boo, and our intention was to party hard and flirt... OK it was Boo's intention to party hard and flirt it was my intention to go out and avoid drinking beer.

Of course in typical Kimberly fashion I failed, but I didn't go too badly as I only had two light beers, one white wine and a glass of diet coke so all in all I think I won, I can drink wine without the queasiness except drinking house wine in a nightclub is like drinking cold cat piss, while holding a glass that screams like a beacon to all other nightclub patrons "Look at me, I have no idea what I'm doing here, I just wanted to get away from the bloody kids" which totally contradicted my sleek all black outfit persona I was trying to pull off.

Night was kinda dampened by the sight of the worst that can happen in a relationship, worst was that it was happening to someone we knew. I was thankful that I have never experienced anything like that.

Went from Ubercool nightclub to Bogan Bar to the world renowned 'Townie' and Boo and I bumped into our friend 'Miss Mona' who was celebrating her 21st Birthday, met some new and lovely people realised that we were all on the same networking (OK dating) website. It's not really a proper dating site as it's free but it looks like one and most people are on there because of dating but I swear I'm only on OkCupid for the quizzes, and to look and see what single men look like... I like to look at people and read what they have to say about themselves without actually becoming their friends, there's nothing wrong with that right?

I suck at quitting jobs I really do, the last time I resigned from a job, my boss managed to convince me to stay on another month and a half on a quarter of my wage... (slight exaggeration, more like half)

Well you see tonight I quit my waitressing job, I was fine I was enjoying my job, it's so easy except for the Angry vain boss, who contradicts everything he says and and annoying mix CD of ethnic music interspersed with Celine Dion on constant loop.

It was great tonight all wonderful customers, I was wonderful, so wonderful a patron offered me a very large tip, now it's to be said in Australia in restaurants, cafes and the like that tips usually left on the table go into a communal tip jar and either are divided amongst the staff equally or more often than not go into a end of week/month booze fund for the staff, but that's OK Australia isn't a tipping country, and since I have been working there I know patrons have been leaving some lovely tips so I was looking forward to my cut of it, So like the money hungry person that I am asked what happens to the tips?

Boss:
Nobody gets tips here, how do you think I pay you
Kimberly:
(that's me remember) Well don't you pay staff and all other expenses related to the restaurant from the revenue obtained from the food that you serve?
Boss:
Go Away! Take these entrees to table 6

The seed was finally planted, since I decided to take this job countless people My Brother, Mother, The Americano, The Homeless lady with the Garbage Bag Dress have all told me to quit, but I ignored them all mostly because I do it so well and partly because I like money, but tonight I cracked, after he yelled at me for not doing something that he yelled at me earlier for doing... well I didn't so much crack as laugh and say "well have a nice life" it was quiet, and restrained for me but when I got outside I laughed and skipped home while in my head the 'I got a golden ticket' song was going through my head, I have to quit jobs more often.

good...ish

Dead Dad Day went a lot better than expected, mainly because I slept most of it, then I went to work at 'The Restaurant' I forgot how good I am as a waitress, people seem to like me a lot more when I'm serving them, which is fine as I think in some sick way I like to serve people.

The boss is a very vain man who has decked out 'The Restaurant' in every possible tacky souvenir possible and there is an entire wall of photoshopped images of him surrounded with fairy lights, he is easily angered and refuses to wear his glasses while working so he cannot read the orders and complains loudly because I haven't written things in metre high letters for him.

The staff is his wife, a woman who seems non talkative, a hodgepodge of Nepalese youth on holiday visas, a couple of young men with young wives and newborn children to support, they all collectively cringe when I raise my voice or question the boss, one of the workers went so far as to shoosh me when I vocalised my conflicting opinions... but I will persevere as I need money and this job gives me the three magic words that makes it all worthwhile 'Cash in Hand'

Another year another Dead Dad Day

It's odd I hate the 13th of April (tomorrow) , I will hate it for the rest of my life, it's only a day. I mean the thirteenth of April has nothing to do with my father's death, but I still would rather blame it than cigarettes, fatty food, and the stress of existence.

I wish sometimes I was one of those people that could break down and cry, one of those emotionally open people that can talk about their feelings and 'workshop' my emotions... but I'm not, I can't stand those people that do, I think it's incredibly selfish personally, so when someone comes to me with a problem or a dillema I nod I smile I suggest nonsensical crap and lots of alcohol.

Now I'm off to take my own advice.

P.S. yes I know alcohol isn't a solution but I am much more of a band-aid solution kinda girl

No sex and no wheat makes Kimberly Something, Something.

A stupid decision I made a few days ago has me now working and incredibly suspect restaurant amongst a bevvy of illegal immigrants, I have no idea why I even applied, I don't need the job, I have market research...
The restaurant was just very close to my flat and they only waitresses for three or four hours shifts and the owner is hilariously vile, I imagine I'm going to blow up at him and storm off within the week.

I guessing the irrational job application is a side effect of not being able to have pasta, or bread or different kinds of bread, But surprisingly I am coping very well without sex it's only been one week, five days and twenty-two hours since I last got laid... and I'm not obsessing about it at all.

All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something

I just realised after typing it out five time I could of just copied and pasted it four more times.

See what happens when I don't get any toast.

Doctor made me give up wheat again because it made me think I was pregnant.

She said that wheat was a bad influence on me and we couldn't be friends anymore, which is a shame because I loved wheat I really did, wheat completed me filled me with it's starchy love, visited me in so many forms as pasta, as freshly baked bread rolls, as biscuits and in beer but no more I have to be yet again one of those gluten free wankers.

It could be worse I suppose, I could be short.

P.S. wheat free stuff is really expensive

Things I have learnt this week.

1) My brother is hopeless without me as much as he tries to deny it
2) There is a limit to how much jam one can consume in one day and it's less than a jar
3) I am apparently a very cruel person when I'm not getting laid
4) It's really fun kicking pigeons/ stray dogs/ homeless people
5) If I don't pay my mobile phone bill on time, I don't receive any of my text messages.
6) Stumbleupon is the single most destructive thing I have ever encountered online

'The Americano' leaves tommorrow, which makes me sad.

Not in a melodramatic 'Anna Karenina throw myself on the train tracks' kind of way, but in a 'aww geeze that's the way life goes' kind of way, I mean the last few months have been lots of fun.

Plus regular high quality sex, I have found out that when I'm getting laid I'm much more tolerable to be around.

So yeah I want some sympathy, and a battery operated bedroom aid, or something to help strengthen my wrists.

I'm really tired, onto second mug of coffee and I still want to curl up under the doona/duvet/quilt and sleep.

really really really sleep.

It's ten am and I think after I write this I'm taking a nap...

My eyes are watering now, and my head keeps on dropping so every few moments my nose is touching my boobs and I don't remember getting there,

Ok now I nap.

wake me up in an hour please?

I haven't posted recently, uni has resumed, work is at full swing and I have had some semblance of a life... and I have been trying to think of a way to describe my birthday without a) incriminating myself, b) incriminating others and most importantly c) humiliating myself but I can't do anything that doesn't in some way humilate myself so here it is, yet another patented Kimberly tale of public humiliation.

OK my birthday rocked, I had a blast, I had Teppanyaki and Cocktails with my beloved friends (and former d-landers) Tit-ho and Boo the day before, and woke up on my birthday sluggish dehydrated and well after midday... all good signs in my opinion.

Surfing the net on my birthday I saw the first sign that my birthday would rock "the rocky horror picture show" was screening that night...

OK I have intentionally not mentioned a certain person of late primarily because I know he reads this thing... well you see I have been 'seeing' him but I won't be using the term 'seeing' as it apparently indicates something long term (his words not mine) and however blast one does describe the situation I am in (I refuse to use the term fuckbuddy as it makes me seem like a gullible slut with no self esteem... but it is an almost suitable term except I am not 'that' gullible or pathetic) but he is a foreigner and he leaves the country soon, Boo has nicknamed him 'The Americano' and as I cannot think of a suitable nickname without revealing his identity so I too will be calling him 'The Americano' and also it makes him sound rather exotic.

Anyways back to my Birthday, On my way to meet 'The Americano' I realise that I have forgotten my house keys therefore am locked out, that should of been the first sign of a night destined for ruin. I met with 'The Americano' and we saw 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'... yes please bear with me it's not a very amusing anecdote yet. Anyway the movie rocked partly because it's a great movie and partly because we may of smoked something beforehand... yes I know drugs are bad, but it's my birthday... so shut up.

Anyway the night was still young and my birthday coincided with 'The Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras' so we had to go out and party some more, we may of ingested a little round thing each, but details are hazy in regards to that part. And we crawled down oxford st, and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced, I danced so much that I had forgotten that I had consumed nothing all day except a toasted cheese sandwich and an ice cream and a few.. a few alcoholic beverages.

As the night drew to a close came the most memorable part of the night, exhausted beyond belief, 'The Americano' and I catch the bus home, I'm a little dizzy a little tired and a little gassy and I let out a little cough.

Except what I thought was a cough wasn't... and after I finished my cough I realise that 'The Americano' and the two girls sitting on the other side of me and myself are all covered in vomit, my vomit.

I have heard lots of stories from lots of people about drunken vomiting in public, I however in my many years of being a lush have avoided the trend itself, and would always point and laugh at all those pathetic people who did it as it's so sad. Well on the first day of the 23rd year of my life I slipped down a notch and joined the tragic drunks of the world.


What made it worse was not the two innocent strangers who I covered with my bile but the fact that I had covered the Americano and myself in my stomach contents and that now we would have to go back to his house as I couldn't run to my house and hide as I was locked out covered in my vomit.

What I should mention that due to things ingested earlier that evening the whole experience at the time was hilarious and in hindsight still is, with all the bad things said about drugs, it makes vomiting on people (and apparently being vomited on also) a much more pleasant experience.

What I have learnt from my experience.

• That it is very difficult to wash vomit out of clothing in a bathtub while naked and trying not to wake-up the flatmates.
  
• It is very difficult to strike a conversation with someone that you have vomited over.

Kimberly:
So sorry about that

Americano:
It's OK it Happens

Kimberly:
yeah I know but it's so... Oh wait hold on there some partially digested orange segment in your hair

Americano:
Oh yeah thanks

Kimberly:
So...

Americano:
So...

• When you have money you should place it in your wallet and not crumple it into a ball and hope it falls into your handbag
• Stories about public vomiting are great ice breakers when talking to strangers.

In a couple of days I will turn 23.

Do you know what that means?

It means in two days I will officially be in my mid-twenties.

OK it really means I'll be unofficially in my mid-twenties, I'll actually be officially in the early to mid twenties age bracket.

This of course means nothing to you, because you are a sane individual, but to me it means that I am ageing and closer to death, it means I have not gotten any closer to any of my goals, it means that I am rapidly progressing to my inevitable demise of dying alone in my flat tangled in the wool of countless unfinished knitting projects and having my remains eaten by my forty cats.

It also means that I get to gorge on six dollar cocktails and teppanyaki soon.

What really turns me on!

People who know me, know that I am not much of a prude and enjoy talking about sex in any way shape or form, and I probably haven't mentioned too much about me sexually in this blog because I'm not anonymous on here. And I'll admit that I do have some unique tastes when it comes to my own personal arousal which may not be your cup of tea.

Until today I thought I was the only one, with my particular quirk

But I found a website that had my ultimate erotic fantasy, complete with pictures.

Here

I need a cigarette.

So I have a confession,

I have been working on a stand-up routine for the last couple of weeks and I will be performing it on Friday,

I have also had a problem these last couple of weeks that whenever I think about the before mentioned stand-up routine I seem to lose control of all bodily function.

I think there may be a correlation.

An Excursion

, originally uploaded by poster_of_a_girl.

I went to the Aquarium and a Zoo with my galpal Boo yesterday, fun was had by all and many a cute photo was taken. I was however very dissapointed that I didn't see anything die at all during my trip except on the bus trip home but you expect at least a couple of people to die on the bus ride home.

Life is good when work finishes early and you go straight home, make yourself a huge bowl of penne, open up a bottle of beer and watch '9 to 5'

What is less good is trying to paint an eighth of a toenail during said movie.

With the invention of my bills for next month exceeding my income, today turned out to be crap.

Then the tripping on my feet and tearing off half a toenail made the day slightly more crappier

With the addition of a Boy standing me up on date, the day turned out to be crappier still

(ok boy didn't stand me up he called me well in advance and told me he was ill and promptly rescheduled our date, but it's the principle damn it!)

Went to the Big Day Out the other day and I had a blast.

I stayed in on Australia Day and I had a blast.

I pretended I lost my voice today so I could sleep in and have poached eggs instead of going to work and doing nothing, and guess what? I had a blast.

I have to go to market research work tomorrow but only for three hours so tommorrow I'll have a blast.

This week has been really good.

It's toothpaste that helps get rid of hickeys? right?

or is it hickies?

2007 is going swimmingly,

or swimmingly...ish

I have however made resolutions.

I will submit everything I have due on time.

I will keep my flat somewhat organised.

I will go to the gym more often, and not only when I know "pimp my ride" is on

I will do my best not to chemically alter my hair and grow it out this year

I will finish the rug I have been working on for the last to years.

I will blog more.

I will try not squeak so much in conversation

I will go out and have cocktails with Boo, much more often

I will not buy unecessary books/clothing/dvd's/ off ebay

I will not stay up late watching late night quiz shows


There is too much wrong with me

Freedom, delicious freedom, no essays, no examinations, no stalking lecturers for explanations to things I don't understand because I was distracted by thoughts of sex with exes during lectures.

I forgot how wonderful holidays are.

Except of course I have to work my arse off these holidays to survive.

So I won't have much freedom so to speak but I will have time to watch crappy summer television

I may attract losers but...

Ok I don't think in my life I have ever met a 'potential partner' in a normal way, I never get introduced to guys that are friends of friends, I don't flirt with boys in my lectures, I don't get drunk and get felt up in the ladies room.
Instead I have met men when waiting on them, I have met men while on the bus, I have met men after putting make-up on them. Granted none of these realtionships have ever amounted to anything great but I was writing this entry for a reason... wait it was the boy on the bus.
About two years ago I started flirting with a boy on my bus route it wasn't verbal it was all those stolen glances, and smiles that cheesy movies have . No notice taken we were always kept apart by the hundreds of people crammed into a peak hour bus to the city.
Anyway one day while waiting for a movie this is now a year ago, I decide to pop into the nearest pub and have a beer and read my novel (my most favourite thing in the world is reading a good book in a pub with a gorgeous beer) anyway I'm sitting at the the bar reading and I turn around and I see the boy fom the bus he introduces himself, I say hello introduce myself, he tells me how he has seen me on the bus, I respond with a very similar comment about him, then leans forward and mumbles something... ok I heard him loud and clear, he repeats his statement.
"From the first time I saw you I wanted to go down on you."
He said it and I stupidly giggle.
After a couple more bump into each other moments and comments of a similar vein i stupidly give him my number.
It ended up being very embarassing for him and we never spoke again, he'd sms me when he spotted me with a new haircut.
Anyway you are probably wondering why I am writing this all out what does this have to do with the price of eggs?
I bumped into this fellow on the bus the other day, we chatted and went to a pub and had a couple of beers, talked about our lives and I realised (how do I phrase this politely?) that this guy was a bit of a hmm how does 'not compatible with Kimberly' type sound? ok Loser would be much more apt, I left the meeting feeling really happy that I never got involved in anything more than a flirtation.
I have been thinking about it a fair bit these last couple of days, but all in all life is pretty damn sweet, now all I need is to be thinner, richer, smarter and smell like cinnamona dn my life wouuld be perfect.
I may attract losers, but I don't go out with them... GO ME!

Lucy and Ethel an Adventure

I have two breasts... yes I know gasp!Anyway my two breasts I have named Lucy and Ethel (yes after sitcom characters) anyways. Lucy is starting to give me the absolute shits this week and I'm seriously conidering going amazon on her arse or better still her tit.When I get bored I do this thing called the pencil test you may of heard about it it's a test to officially decide the perkiness of your breasts by seeing their ability to hold up a pencil, if you cannot hold a pencil under them that means "yay you girl have some perky boobies!" Now Ethel (she's on my left) is great at this game she cannot for the life of her hold onto a pencil she flies high and mighty and looks like the breast of a 22 year old.But Lucy... Lucy has been the bane of my existence for the last few months, she failed the pencil test a few months ago, it wasn't major the pencil just stayed there for a few seconds then fell to the floor, So I decided to when I'm at the Gym to focus on chest pulls and boobie lifting exercises, but alas this morning Lucy failed me again and further more I think she has drooped even lower.I don't mind droop it's a part of getting older but a) I'm 22 and b) they should both droop at the same time!I wonder if testicle drop and breast drop have something in common?Now you are probably wondering why on earth would anyone talk in depth about her boobs on myspace?Well my brother reads this blog and I just wanted to make him feel uncomfortable.

All I want for Christmas

God are you there? It's me Kimberly

I think because this has been such a hectic year I deserve a slightly more extravagant Christmas gift than my usual bath salts and cheap christmas themed boxes of chocolates.

So therefore I suggest this


Now if that didn't seem appropriate and a little tacky for Christmas, you could always spend an extra couple grand' on this

I did after all get really good marks and I think you spending copious amounts of money on me is really the only way to ensure that I keep on doing well in my studies, you don't want my grades to suffer do you?

This is what normal people do I hear

Ok I'm assuming that normal people buy affection, I didn't come from a normal family, I came from a family that considered time spent together as a gift, how cheap can you get?

It's time to rectify the trauma of my upbringing... with money, so I can be normal.

C'mon you know you wanna!

Kimberly

P.S. you don't have to buy the gift yourself you can just give the money to this guy and tell him what to do, I know how modest you are.

P.P.S it doesn't need to be gift wrapped

P.P.P.S don't forget to include the charger.

I may attract losers but..

Ok I don't think in my life I have ever met a 'potential partner' in a normal way, I never get introduced to guys that are friends of friends, I don't flirt with boys in my lectures, I don't get drunk and get felt up in the ladies room.
Instead I have met men when waiting on them, I have met men while on the bus, I have met men after putting make-up on them. Granted none of these realtionships have ever amounted to anything great but I was writing this entry for a reason... wait it was the boy on the bus.
About two years ago I started flirting with a boy on my bus route it wasn't verbal it was all those stolen glances, and smiles that cheesy movies have . No notice taken we were always kept apart by the hundreds of people crammed into a peak hour bus to the city.
Anyway one day while waiting for a movie this is now a year ago, I decide to pop into the nearest pub and have a beer and read my novel (my most favourite thing in the world is reading a good book in a pub with a gorgeous beer) anyway I'm sitting at the the bar reading and I turn around and I see the boy fom the bus he introduces himself, I say hello introduce myself, he tells me how he has seen me on the bus, I respond with a very similar comment about him, then leans forward and mumbles something... ok I heard him loud and clear, he repeats his statement.
"From the first time I saw you I wanted to go down on you."
He said it and I stupidly giggle.
After a couple more bump into each other moments and comments of a similar vein i stupidly give him my number.
It ended up being very embarassing for him and we never spoke again, he'd sms me when he spotted me with a new haircut.
Anyway you are probably wondering why I am writing this all out what does this have to do with the price of eggs?
I bumped into this fellow on the bus the other day, we chatted and went to a pub and had a couple of beers, talked about our lives and I realised (how do I phrase this politely?) that this guy was a bit of a hmm how does 'not compatible with Kimberly' type sound? ok Loser would be much more apt, I left the meeting feeling really happy that I never got involved in anything more than a flirtation.
I have been thinking about it a fair bit these last couple of days, but all in all life is pretty damn sweet, now all I need is to be thinner, richer, smarter and smell like cinnamona dn my life wouuld be perfect.
I may attract losers, but I don't go out with them... GO ME!

Life: it's not so bad... really

I am good, I just got my transcript for school and it was all distinctions.

My new Market Research Job is fun and I enjoy going to work.

I got a new haircut, my hair is black with red streaks. I like it... Well I think I like it.

It's all good, I feel pretty damn good...

Well except for the hayfever, half of my head is congested and the other half is completely clear... yes really! one nostril is blocked, one ear is painful, on eye is teary, it's freaky! I can't even get sick properly, I have to get half-arsed hayfever.

I have to write more, but I have nothing to complain aboute except the usual I'm too fat, too poor, too tired, too dumb, you know the typical annoying complaints that nobody likes to hear.

Now I just need a husband, a three bedroom house in the Lower North Shore (with harbour views of course) A silver Range Rover (with leather seats) and a pug dog I can carry in my oversized Louis Vuitton bag.

Is that too much to ask

Census Night!

I'm wondering if 'lazy, self absorbed, rock-star wannabe' would be accepted as my religion.

Last Night.

Antibiotics, Perscription Painkillers, Alcohol and Evil

people who used to read the old diary will know exactly what happened.

My head is filling slowly with viscous liquid that borders on gelatinous and my throat is painful and threatens to swell itself shut any moment, I am stuck at home and have nothing to do, the combination of the speedy cold and flu medication and the tranqulizer effect of the cough syrup have me dancing precariously on awake and asleep.

I'm pissed off because I can't even swallow soup, and I like soup.

I have learnt over recent weeks that men are stupid!

Ok it's not that men are stupid it just seems to be that the men that I associate with are stupid beyond belief.

Ok I wouldn't say that the men that I associate with are stupid but stupid will be the blanket phrase I would use to describe their ignorance, their ineptitude and their ability to turn me into a bumbling stupid person.

Do you know that before I ever dealt with men I was considered an intelligent individual with a lot of potential, however now I am Kimberly: She Could of been great if she wasn't so tragically obsessed with creatures with chest hair and penises.

On better news one of my Gal pals from High School ' has announced her engagement, I am so happy for her but I honestly just go wow how does someone meet someone they want to spend forever with, when I can't meet anyone I want to spend more than a few hours with?

It's just me whingeing, goodnes I like to complain

I can say my life has changed completley in the time I last wrote an entry, I'm now doing my B.A. in Visual Communicaions, I have a new job which I must say I'm loving to bits, and I haven't got certain people bothering me as much anymore.

For the first time in a long time I think things are getting better,

See Guy I told you I would update.

Please bug me if I don't update I do have things to say, it's just i'm being lazy now and really only come online for porn and knitting patterns, please help me I know you want me to update

How do you stop being indecisive?

What makes you choose something and stick with that decision?

I hate choice, I hate freedom and I hate every possible option out there.

I want someone to tell me what to do... Please

"what's cookin?"

My Brother has been up in Sydney for the last few days, and we went to the Sydney Royal Easter Show we rode and we ate and we spent out money in a glorious fashion, everything was great plus the fact that 'The Rolling stones' were performing at the stadium next door so we had an ok soundtrack in the background, anyway as our evening at the Show was drawing to a close my brother Deryn and I decided to get a caricature of us to give to our mother, there was apprehension as my brother and I are very self concious people and are scared about what people think about us physically we are very imposing people physically. anyway the results were great but I think the caricature artist has made the assumtion that my brother and I were in fact boyfriend and girlfriend, what do you think?

"Where the fuck are you?"

you have seen the original campaign

some peopleI know did a parody

go have a look and see what Australia is really like.

I am a student again

I am a student again.

for how long I don't know, i'm just testing the waters

I've been testing the waters forever now, and my fingers and toes are all pruney.

gah stupid indecisiveness.

Ladies and gentlemen I have been working (as make-up artist) on a play and it has been absolutely wonderful, so if you are anywhere near Macquarie University and want to see some talented, hot, young things performing one of the worlds most famous plays go and click here and tell them Kimberly the make-up artist sent you, or don't as it doesnt entitle you to a discount or anything, but anyway you should because it's cheaper than a movie, more mentally fulfilling and with live theatre there is always the delicious possibility of someone crashing and burning on stage.


Anyway how am I? I'm alive, and I'm tired and I want to throw actual income making job in and join a gypsy gang, and travel the country cursing people.

Ok am fine amd just finding that the people I thought I knew are different or I'm just more aware of their flaws at the moment, but that might just be me being melodramatic.

Speaking of drama have I mentioned that I am currently working on a play? Romeo and Juliet to be exact, it's at the Lighthouse theatre at Macquarie University and is critically acclaimed (by critically acclaimed of course I mean me) anyway help the kids out and give them your money.

Well

On Thursday I consumed a schnitzel the size of a surfboard.
On Friday I consumed half an aquarium and several cocktails (maybe 8)
On Saturday I consumed 'KFC' an E and several beers

This was all to celebrate the joyous day of my birth.

My liver hurts, my head hurts, the world won't stop spinning, I need to sleep

Why can a goat find a husband but I have trouble finding a male with conversational skills?

I'm turning 22 on Friday, I hate it and yet, it's great because I'm finally getting closer to the age I currently feel (46 if you must know) but it means that I shoud be more responsible and determine some sort of goal but I have nothing, I don't know what to do.

If you have any suggestions please tell me because aimlessness, sucks.

Another day Another Haircut!

060211_170636.jpg
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Ok this is my new hairdo it's very short and straight and spikey, I think I like it, I need to play some more with it I think

What to do?

I havent been posting because I'm embarrassed by the fact that I have really nothing to say, my life is full of nothing, I wake up go to a nothing job, spend my money on stupid nothing clothes that I don't need or that will go out of fashion within weeks or books I will forget the moment I complete them.

I need to think of something to do and soon, nothing is killing me.

or at least making me really really bored

What to do?

I havent been posting because I'm embarrassed by the fact that I have really nothing to say, my life is full of nothing, I wake up go to a nothing job, spend my money on stupid nothing clothes that I don't need or that will go out of fashion within weeks or books I will forget the moment I complete them.

I need to think of something to do and soon, nothing is killing me.

or at least making me really really bored

Days of Wine and Roses

Last week has been spent in an alcohol fuelled blur, i have been dancing in nightclubs, drinking at 'Trannie' bars seeing strip shows and Belting out Bon Jovi at Karaoke nights, I am getting the next ten years of partying out in these two weeks because i'm swearing I will never drink in excess again... until my birthday that is

cough, splutter the 3rd of March, cough, cough

Anyway have totally cleared through everything I have saved on drinking with Das Hausguest, but it has been fun and I don't have many friends so when I get one for two whole weeks I just go crazy yo.

Anyway I have to sleep my liver hurts

Kimberly's New Years Resolve

a) I will write more frequently
b) I will try to be more positive
c) I will try to not press the snooze button more than three times any morning
d) I will try to be more positive about life, after all all men aren't assholes, all women aren't cunts and all short people aren't goblins
e) I will save money, more importantly I will save the type of money that can fold rather than the money that can rattle
f) I will try to leave Australia for at least a day this year even if it just means me taking a kayak all the way into international waters.
g) I will be nicer to people and keep my insulting thoughts and comments to a minimum
h) I will lose weight for my mother after all if Oprah can do it with a billion dollars a personal chef and personal trainer I can do it with $7.33 in savings and a couple of soup cans for weights
i) I will buy my brother something he would never buy himself (but it won't be a hooker like I had originally planned)
j) TO BE CONTINUED

The significance of Aluminum to Kimberly a.k.a. I can't sleep

I got really drunk with 'Das Hausguest' and watched "Napoleon Dynamite" I now can't sleep, I have just been on an hour walk through the mean streets of 'the ville' and am still not tired, I have now two options a)lie in bed and letr my thoughts entertain me, or scare me with because they tend to err on the homicidal or b) stay up and hope that I won't fall asleep at work while operating some dangerous mechanical device.

I'm feeling kinda angry and bitter, I know it's due to a lot of aimlessness in life, oh well I now have an aim, I am going to do as much irreversible damage to my organs this month and see what happens.

Ok I'm not really, I can't afford to be an alcoholic unless pubs start accepting soda can ring pulls instead of actual money, which does make sense in the long term because aluminum is so much lighter and you could string them onto things and make the whole money thing, fun and incredibly convenient.

Ok I just really have a surplus of ring pulls and that is odd in itself because I don't like drinking things from cans in general.

Speaking of cans it reminds me of a story about my father, back in the day he used to be quite the party animal, He had parties at his house every weekend and had whole rooms dedicated to making alcohol (he gave me the best recipie for homemade tia maria the secret is International roast coffee) anyway after these parties my father would collect all the cans which would always be in the hundreds and collect all the ringpulls for his major work of art "The ringpull chandelier" Now I wasn't born in the period nor had my Father and Mother met, but I have seen a few photos, and it was a huge majestic glistening monolith and would prgressively get larger and larger after every party and it became the reason why people would come to his parties (that and my father believed in sharing his massive alccohol collection free of charge) Anyway the chandelier was beautiful but being aluminium it had many pros and cons, Aluminum is incredibly light and during a party Dad's chandelier was stolen, he searched high and low, there was almost 100, 000 ringpulls in it (according to several of Dad's friends) and about three or four years of solid work, there were un confirmed sightings all over Australia and apparently a sighting in Thailand, but it was never ever recovered.

And that is why I have a fascination for ring pulls and, also the fact that I cannot sleep has made me think that my thoughts and rambling stories about dead fathers are what you want to read.

The Hostess with the Mostess

well in about four or five hours I will have a house-guest (how the fuck do you write that?), which should be fine except for the fact that I hate people with a passion, and even though Houseguest (?) is actually a close friend, it sucks that I will have to pretend to be remotely clean, and not walk around 'Casa del Kimberly' in my period underwear spritzing myself with a water spray to keep myself cool, I'll have to be dressed for the next fortnight, gah!

People from my old diary (you know the one that doesn't exist anymore) will know the Hausguest (?) under a more sinister moniker (for the stupid that means he had a more diabolical name) but here we shall refer to him as something else like maybe his christian name... But stay tuned kiddies, I'm guessing it will be a slightly more exciting blog in the next couple of weeks, or I will turf his English arse out within twenty minutes of his arrival due to the crazy heat, Gah! i hate being a friend it really does suck arse and not in the good "I accidentally got the vaccumn nozzle stuck down my pants kind of way"

Happy New Year

On

NYE 2005 006
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

My New Years Eve, I hung out with gal pal Boo, we got remotely drunk, walked around Darling Harbour, had many people look at out breasts(mainly Boo's she has a killer rack!) yeah we were kinda skankily dressed (as you can see in the photo that was taken by a drunken Englishman) But Boo, had Jesus nestled in between her boobs whereas I had crumbs from lunch, oh and I was fighting the killer migraine caused by light up head-gear that was made for tiny headed people not my fat headed majestic afroed self, but it was the funnest night and I lost lots of money at casino after the fireworks. Oh well to a kickarse 2006!

It's Christmas day, I am waiting up for my brothers arrival, I should be cleaning my flat, but I'm procrastinating as usual, but I did make him trifle which is sort of the same. It's the first official Christmas trifle I have made without the assistance of dad, I started crying when the jelly wouldn't set right but it went alright and hopefully nobody will die.

I am uber broke, and I have a million things to do.

I have to update you on a few things theres mystery, mayhem and more men than you can poke a stick at (that is assuming you can only poke a stick at one man at the most)

Merry Christmas, and etc. and bug me and keep on bugging me until i post again

It all ends tommorrow.

I graduate tomorrow,
next stop the Apocalypse.
I'm scared.
I'm excited.
I don't know what to do.
any ideas?

WARNING: you may be able to see a boobie

bodypaaintingedit02
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is a body painting I just did last week, it's my take on one of my most favourite artworks ever "Girl Before a Mirror" by Picasso, it's just such a bright, beautiful painting, and always makes me feel much more creative, I just hope my work did it justice I mean it's fucking Picasso for chris'sakes

Another sample of my work.

ageingedit01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is a before and after photo of my mother, In the photo on the left she is forty-five and wearing a nice basic make-up in the photo isn't she cute, but in the photo on the right I made her up to be a sixty-five year old homeless person.

She didn't like me much that day but if she doesn't look after me that could be her future.

(ooh and the beannie she is wearing I knitted that!)

A potent mix.

The combination of red wine, sex, cigarettes and me thinking I could dance to the end credits of a movie has resulted in me spending six hours in the emergency ward and eight stitches in my right leg and one in my left.

My apartment right now looks like it has been used as a maxi-pad, I should do something about that.

Oh yeah and "one night stand boy" has been upgraded to dating status, and will now be referred to as 'Rocky' I seem to bring out the bad 'Rocky Balboa' impersonation out in him.

But he is really cute.

I feel more and more inept everyday, I was thinking it was some sort of depression associated with the end of the year and of school and the like but it's not a depression it's genuine ineptitude, I feel like I'm getting stupider (?) and more useless.

Am developing far too much of a fondness for red wine... it's just soooo nice

I need a change, a new job, a new plan, a new hairstyle, I wonder how I'd go as a blonde?

I don't need it... really.

I just want to be useful again.

Maybe I'm not feeling inept, just unwanted.

Is this is what being human feels like?

I met "one night stand boy" again after work last night and got blind drunk and took him home.
We stayed up late watching dvd's and having sex, this whole entire day was spent sleeping, having sex and watching dvd's naked, and I had fun, and I felt human...ish it was relaxing and did I mention fun.

However now I will be up all night doing assignments I should of completed today.

Oh the sacrifices I make for sex.

But fuck it was worth it!

Well theres the...

Stupid one night stand i had on Saturday night, it was fun, he was fun, it was good, he was good, I was good he was incredibly stupid.
Sunday was work I was stupid and tired and employers took advantage.
Monday was exam I was oh so tired and feeling much worse for wear.
Monday Night I went to a secret Dandy Warhols concert at "The Annandale Hotel"
Tuesday I couldn't wake up my heat ached my body ached, my throat was swollen
Wednesday (Today) I wake up I still can'tswallow I have tonsilitis

I want to die

I'd try to sleep but everytime I close my eyes I get an image of a young man dancing around the room wearing nothing but a used condom and singing "Eye of the tiger" this seems to the type of man I seem to attract.

It could be worse he could of been short.

The dandy warhols

The dandy warhols
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Am at the secret Dandy Warhols at the Annandale Hotel it's rocking the casbah

Melbourne cup Day

It's tomorrow, I should have a bet, in fact I do believe I have to bet as I think it's actually a law that at 3:15 I must stop all brain activity and pretend I'm interested in horses.

My father would of betted on "On a Jeune" so I will put money on that one

I will put money on "Leica Falcon" because I always like to bet on horses trained by someone called Gai Waterhouse, plus she has the most kickarse name.

Because I recently did the make-up on a short film that had an eye gouging I shall also put money on "Eye Popper"

And "Railing" is another one that I do like the sound of.

My safe predictability will probably make me put money on that bloody "Makybe Diva" But I really want her to lose.

It really is stupid but I'm Australian it's my right to bet on horses and pretend I have a knowledge of the entire activity for one whole day and then brag about the fact that I put money on the winner (easy to acomplish as most place bets on all horses)

ignore me when I'm...

drunk,

drinking coffee,

writing blog entries,

speaking,

breathing,

I'm drunk

I have just consumed most of a bottle of red wine nd I'm watching romancing the stone you know the movie with michael douglas and that kickarse billy (you know the black dude) song "whjen the going gets tough the tough get going"

It's so humid, the weather is made for sex except I have nobody to fuck, i just want to make out with somenbody, feel warm, sweaty skin next to mine, I want someone to kiss me between my shoulderblades and muzzle my neck someone whp will linger with thioer kisses and caress me, why can't I find someone to do all that?

I need a boyfriend.

I need to get laid.

I need to lay off the red wine.

I asked an old fuckbuddy to come over and he w2s too busy, I texted someone else and he hasn't replied, I hate being drunk and hornmy and with too many thoughts in my head because I just get far too restless.

I don't know what ndo with my li8fe, I'm intellkigent, I'm ARTICULATE AND FUCK i'M EVEN WITTY but I don;'t know what to do somebody tell em because i'm losing sleep, and i need my sleedp, it's getting far too mcuh for me.

I shoudl go to bedd
would be much better if a man was joining me though.

grrrrf

I'm just going to type.

I'm just going to type what is in my head without censor, for four minutes

I wonder sometimes , what is wrong with my head? I think such bizarre thoughts I can't be the only person who thinks these things? I'm not that unique, I can't be, theres no such thing as an Unique thought, I mean someone has to of thought the same way that I have, made the same decisions craved the same thing, and probably as I speak someone right now is thinking the exact same thing, why can't I find this person, why can't I find someone who thinks just like me?
It's exhausting knowing that this person may be out there and not able to say hello to me.

I'm tired,

I need to rest, I need to find people who think like me

and also have money.

The Best thing Ever!

Last night I got High and watched "The Great Escape" and seriously it was the most fun I have had in ages, that movie was made for potheads!

I don't condone getting high and I don't do it on a regular basis but goddamnit! I needed a break.

But seriously try the combination, I must say it was better than mediocre sex.

this doesn't really help New Zealand's reputation in Australia.

tee hee hee.

it also makes Boo's, psychotic bunny story not seem so cruel

it also makes me think that Rabbit predjudice is on the rise in Australia.

Window Shopping

The Window Shopper Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf) Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper. You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come. Your exact opposite: The Stiletto Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns. Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs. BEWARE: The Hornivore CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: agirlwithcurls

I love

I love going to the gym and watching Beavis and Butthead marathons while i'm on a bike
I love long lukewarm showers
I love concealing pimples and redness on peoples skin
I love cheese and wholegrain mustard on wholegrain toast
I love ginger ale
I love being so tired that I fall asleep on my couch
I love leaving important things til the last minute
I love the feel of cold tile against my skin, so much so I often just lie in my bathroom
I love cooking things in my bamboo steamer
I love reading through the IKEA catalogue
I love roasted garlic
I love shandies (thats beer and lemonade) I also love , Strongbow cider and watermelon caprioskas.
I love cleaning my ears with a cotton bud
I love watching people on the bus
I love two dollar shops
I love that thick custard that bakeries have in their cakes.
I love finishing a knitting project
I love reading Spike in the Sydney Morning Herald
I love putting nutmeg on my cereal at breakfast
I love to ride my bike through Marrickville at 3am
I love the freckles on mens shoulders
I love to have imaginary conversations with my friends in my head.
I love pin-up girl images
I love strawberries
actually it's all pretty good

Curse you Sudoku!

Well, on thursday we finally settled the Dead Dad Estate, Deryn and I were so overcome with emotion, that we as soon as we stepped out of the solicitors office laughed and gave each other the biggest warmest hug I have ever experienced, we will be about $15,000 poorer than we intended but fuck it everything is settled now and Deryn and I own a House.

I got to hang out with my dear friend Lib also on thursday, I love hanging out with her, she is a conservative, middle class christian, and I'm a gullible, left wing, poverty stricken Unitarian but we just get along so well it's so bizarre, anyway I adore her all the same.

I also completed my first Sudoku puzzle on thursday, it was at the diabolical level and I finished it, I never did them because they just looked so dull, but now that I have done one I've got a taste for them, curse you Sudoku

A quick note

German food and lots of beer isn't good
spent an hour at Gym trying to work it off, oh my german food is far too rich
need to sleep.
Have work in a few hours, oh fuckbuckets

So much to say so little to tell.

I havent been here for a while

- I was in Manly doing make-up for a charity show, it was the most fun I have ever had (without being tied up naked to a telegraph show)
- I turned my dear gal-pal Ramona into a tsunami victim for an Assignment
- I helped teach ten year old girls how to do theatre make-up
-I got t do make-up for the Deadly awards and meet famous people like Ernie Dingo and Casey Donovan
- I also got mistaken for Casey donovan
-I went on date type thing and saw Wallace and Grommit
- I havent slept in weeks
- When I oficially become a home owner in a weeks time I will owe the government $8000
- Have missed my Dad too much this week
-I'm broke-ish
-Ok I'm really broke
-But it could be worse, I could be short

Come to the 'ville!

Tommorrow in the bestest suburb in Sydney, no it's not Clovelly it's my suburb of Marrickville, anyway tomorrow is the "Marrickville Festival" the best day ever where you gorge on miniature pancakes and thai food and just have a real good time listening to music, and looking at samples and flyers.

Anyway I live in Marrickville and I am issuing an open invitation to all who read to come visit marrickville and party hard with me, all you have to do is from Railway Square in the city catch a 423 or a 426 and when you get to Marrickville rd, just Holler my name, I'll find you, or better still, email me or text me and I'll tell you where to meet me.

If you don't know me i'll be the fat chick with frizzy hair causing a scene.

Hope to see you there

What do you think?

What do you think?
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

We are making people bald at school at the moment and i'm seriously considering shaving my head, what do you guys think? That or getting my hair permanently straightened, please tell me your thoughts on the matter.

I have decided.

I have decided that people in relationships are stupid!

wait scratch that

I have decided that people in mediocre relationships are stupid!

no wait

I have decided that people content with being in mediocre relationships are stupid!

Anyway that's what I wanted to say, and that in hearing so many peoples relationship stories I'm going to make sure I don't settle for mediocrity in a relationship.

That and bad breath, I hate bastards with bad breath.

Oh and short people

Sent via mobile

Am on the bus on my way home from school, just saw my dear friend Richie for coffee and cake.

My life is kinda blurry, almost dream like nothing feels real or constant, I wonder if this feeling ever does end or at least calm down to more bearable levels?

Congratulations Kylie and Andy!

One of my dearest girlfriends Kylie just got engaged to her boy Andy

I'm so happy for her, but i'm also very pissed off

I want to get engaged, and plan a party that revolves around me in a white dress.

I want a three tiered cake with a minature me on top

Anyone want to get married?

no reason at all

I don't like myself, I never have and I probably never will,
I'm one of those people who complain for the sake of complaining.
I think I'm incredibly selfish
I think I'm incredibly shallow
I am a wanker, or will grow up to be one
A wanker in a fat chick with an afro suit.

Actually there is no reason why I dislike myself, I'm doing well at school, I have lovely friends, even work isn't that bad I just want to complain, because then at least i'm doing something

Unusual night I had this evening, wait now it's yesterday.
Went on second date
I had fun
you don't need to know more except 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was great.

Actually life is great, i'm just too shallow to realise

Tomorrow is Deryns birthday, Sunday is Father's Day

Now I'm teary, Now i'm going to bed.