a tad distracted

I'm supposed to be in class right now. I woke up nice and early battled peak hour commuters, and slow trains and got here with seven minutes to spare.

I Rule!

Except when I double check my timetable to find out that my lecture today doesn't start for five more weeks, another day wasted.

I must admit I have been a little distracted of late, I am giving far too much thought to certain people right now, and it's affecting my day to day life.

The worst thing about my distractedness today is I could of watched all of Kochie and Mel .

what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

Saturday I went after work to a going away party, as it was technically my last day of the booze-a-palooza known as my holidays I thought I would go hard, and hard I did.

I apparently made out with someone at Vegas, someone with a girlfriend, but all I can remember is playing with somebodies ear (confession: I have a thing for boys ears) oh well if I can't remember it, it does not exist... right?

It's very funny for the sheer fact that I never get drunk and pash random guys in bars, I'm the sort of person who gets drunk and then makes fun of those people who make out in bars (I am often heard yelling at couples dry humping on pub couches "Get a fucking room or at least go into a toilet cubicle") it's pretty bloody tacky in my opinion (I'm not a public display of tongue related affection kind of girl), but now I'm one of those losers.

I'm not saying I haven't made out with people in public, but I was on pills at the time (so was he) and I would of made out with a telegraph pole (so would he) if given the chance that night.


Lets hope this was a one off show... How do you pub sluts do it?

I'm assuming that this blog is popular with the 'Pub Slut' Community.

dancing with myself

where are trhe americnjanos when yuou are drunk and horny????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


Just went out with boo, we got very drunk and I got very drunker, just got home and AI want to ewat lots and lots fo breeatd . Tuesdays rochk the fucking cashbahhik!

keyboad keeps on moving keep still dan=mmit, three dollars get out o here!

woot I need a burger or twi


I ne ed gto

P.S> I love uyou bvooo!

feeling like a girl

I must be ovulating or something, I'm gooey and sentimental at the moment, I saw some parts of the telemovie 'Anne of Green Gables- The Sequel' on the T.V. and started getting all gooey over my childhood fantasies that involved me and Gilbert Blythe and him confessing his undying love for me while dying of typhoid (as was the style in those days) which led me to thinking about all the other L.M. Montgomery books I had read (a quick Google made me realise I had read them all) but in particular this one little romantic tale that I used to read it's in the novel "The Golden Road" anyways there is this one chapter that make me all gooey whenever I read it, it's meant to be written by the point of view of a thirteen year old girl who is a precocious story teller, but I read it again last night and was a blubbering mess.

Anyway I want you to read it and tell me that it is worthy of my uterine contractions. it's only five mins I assure you.

Let me present to you "The Love Story of the Awkward Man"

I'm such a suck

Another year another Dead Dad Day

It's odd I hate the 13th of April (tomorrow) , I will hate it for the rest of my life, it's only a day. I mean the thirteenth of April has nothing to do with my father's death, but I still would rather blame it than cigarettes, fatty food, and the stress of existence.

I wish sometimes I was one of those people that could break down and cry, one of those emotionally open people that can talk about their feelings and 'workshop' my emotions... but I'm not, I can't stand those people that do, I think it's incredibly selfish personally, so when someone comes to me with a problem or a dillema I nod I smile I suggest nonsensical crap and lots of alcohol.

Now I'm off to take my own advice.

P.S. yes I know alcohol isn't a solution but I am much more of a band-aid solution kinda girl

I haven't posted recently, uni has resumed, work is at full swing and I have had some semblance of a life... and I have been trying to think of a way to describe my birthday without a) incriminating myself, b) incriminating others and most importantly c) humiliating myself but I can't do anything that doesn't in some way humilate myself so here it is, yet another patented Kimberly tale of public humiliation.

OK my birthday rocked, I had a blast, I had Teppanyaki and Cocktails with my beloved friends (and former d-landers) Tit-ho and Boo the day before, and woke up on my birthday sluggish dehydrated and well after midday... all good signs in my opinion.

Surfing the net on my birthday I saw the first sign that my birthday would rock "the rocky horror picture show" was screening that night...

OK I have intentionally not mentioned a certain person of late primarily because I know he reads this thing... well you see I have been 'seeing' him but I won't be using the term 'seeing' as it apparently indicates something long term (his words not mine) and however blast one does describe the situation I am in (I refuse to use the term fuckbuddy as it makes me seem like a gullible slut with no self esteem... but it is an almost suitable term except I am not 'that' gullible or pathetic) but he is a foreigner and he leaves the country soon, Boo has nicknamed him 'The Americano' and as I cannot think of a suitable nickname without revealing his identity so I too will be calling him 'The Americano' and also it makes him sound rather exotic.

Anyways back to my Birthday, On my way to meet 'The Americano' I realise that I have forgotten my house keys therefore am locked out, that should of been the first sign of a night destined for ruin. I met with 'The Americano' and we saw 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'... yes please bear with me it's not a very amusing anecdote yet. Anyway the movie rocked partly because it's a great movie and partly because we may of smoked something beforehand... yes I know drugs are bad, but it's my birthday... so shut up.

Anyway the night was still young and my birthday coincided with 'The Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras' so we had to go out and party some more, we may of ingested a little round thing each, but details are hazy in regards to that part. And we crawled down oxford st, and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced and danced, I danced so much that I had forgotten that I had consumed nothing all day except a toasted cheese sandwich and an ice cream and a few.. a few alcoholic beverages.

As the night drew to a close came the most memorable part of the night, exhausted beyond belief, 'The Americano' and I catch the bus home, I'm a little dizzy a little tired and a little gassy and I let out a little cough.

Except what I thought was a cough wasn't... and after I finished my cough I realise that 'The Americano' and the two girls sitting on the other side of me and myself are all covered in vomit, my vomit.

I have heard lots of stories from lots of people about drunken vomiting in public, I however in my many years of being a lush have avoided the trend itself, and would always point and laugh at all those pathetic people who did it as it's so sad. Well on the first day of the 23rd year of my life I slipped down a notch and joined the tragic drunks of the world.


What made it worse was not the two innocent strangers who I covered with my bile but the fact that I had covered the Americano and myself in my stomach contents and that now we would have to go back to his house as I couldn't run to my house and hide as I was locked out covered in my vomit.

What I should mention that due to things ingested earlier that evening the whole experience at the time was hilarious and in hindsight still is, with all the bad things said about drugs, it makes vomiting on people (and apparently being vomited on also) a much more pleasant experience.

What I have learnt from my experience.

• That it is very difficult to wash vomit out of clothing in a bathtub while naked and trying not to wake-up the flatmates.
  
• It is very difficult to strike a conversation with someone that you have vomited over.

Kimberly:
So sorry about that

Americano:
It's OK it Happens

Kimberly:
yeah I know but it's so... Oh wait hold on there some partially digested orange segment in your hair

Americano:
Oh yeah thanks

Kimberly:
So...

Americano:
So...

• When you have money you should place it in your wallet and not crumple it into a ball and hope it falls into your handbag
• Stories about public vomiting are great ice breakers when talking to strangers.

What really turns me on!

People who know me, know that I am not much of a prude and enjoy talking about sex in any way shape or form, and I probably haven't mentioned too much about me sexually in this blog because I'm not anonymous on here. And I'll admit that I do have some unique tastes when it comes to my own personal arousal which may not be your cup of tea.

Until today I thought I was the only one, with my particular quirk

But I found a website that had my ultimate erotic fantasy, complete with pictures.

Here

I need a cigarette.

So I have a confession,

I have been working on a stand-up routine for the last couple of weeks and I will be performing it on Friday,

I have also had a problem these last couple of weeks that whenever I think about the before mentioned stand-up routine I seem to lose control of all bodily function.

I think there may be a correlation.