links; i have been wasting my time on

I have been super sick for the last week my insides have turned into jelly I cannot go anyhwere unless it's within ten feet of a toilet, doctors have just asked me to rest but it's been almost two weeks without pay and I'm getting mighty bored and scaredabout being more poverty stricken than ever before

 links that I found interesting.
weird meat: it's an interesting collection of a mans attempt to eat as many unusual mean products as he can, I've only gone so far as bull testicles but this makes me want to go a little crazier when my lower intestine decides to be co-operative

my parents were awesome; user submited photos of peopel parents before the kids came and sapped the lifeblood out of them, i love it as it's a reminder that everyone at some point has a phase being drunk and camwhoring.

post secret; I mean who doesn't read it, love it, I want to send something in but my secrets are probably a touch too contraversial

texts from last night; name really says it all same for Overheard in New York

eggs, eggs  and more eggs I am going to perefect the egg and all will come from lands far and wide to see my magnificent eggs

a great article; on catching a potential child molester from both the police and the criminal/victims point of view, and an interesting video about an individual dealing with paedophile urges,

in lighter non child molestation links;


when  smoke; usually when I'm drinking I usually gravitate toward menthol cigarettesno I know why, because they were made my magical flying penguins and I'm into whimsical mystical shit like that


.
why do I need to add commentary the video speaks on so many levels to all sorts of people.

.
Oh and Indian Superman with his love interest Spidergirl

so

I've been well...ish well I had been I had managed to avoid gluten for over a month so was feeling on top of the world except last three days my digestive process has been much quicker and more liquidy than desired (even minus gluten) So off I went to the Doctor who immediately declared me to be pregnant, but I debunked that theory when I advised him that I had bled a few days ago, so he then declared me to have food poisoning or a virus which I agreed to and then he said I would be fine by tomorrow if I only ate eggs and rice and other bland foods which I did but I'm still churning away turning all that enters me into biley soupiness, but alls well that ends well I have spend my time productively watching

Community (the t.v series) ; which has to be the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time, dare I say funnier than 30Rock but not as funny as The Mary Tyler Moore Show my benchmark in Sitcom funniness, or M.A.S.H in the golden period of about a season that had both Colonel Potter and Frank Burns)

Delocated: (another T.V series); Adult Swim it's pretty damn funny

Mad Men Season Three; It's letting me down in so many ways, Don is a Douche, Betty is a Douche, Peggy is nowhere to be seen but I'm still watching because it's so pretty

Dexter Season Four; Good so far, but too much naked John Lithgow for my tastes, should read the books but y'know why bother when there is a T.V version

Born Yesterday;  A movie from 1950? I used to love this movie, the one liners, her accent! and this faboo sequinned jumpsuit she wears as loungesuit, it's a wonderful way to pass the day away.

sick

I have been off sick for the whole week I have not had a cold this bad in such a very very very long time, it's quite weird waiting for a cold to go away, I'm not smoking i'm not drinkinga and I'm not eating crap but my head still is full of goo and I have no voice.

I'm also super bored, and in my immense boredom of not having anything to do (and being dosed up on cold a flu tablets and massive amounts of vitamin c) have concocted in my head that someone has died, no body specific, but I have been trawling obituraries for the last few hours and checking facebook to make sure all my friends (or at least all my friends with facebook ) are alive.

I have had unlimited access to internet over the last six days it's the only thing I have the slightest amount of energy to do but I look at it look at the same five sites I always look at and then go straight to bed, I could be making Latvian pen pals or learning Spanish or attempt to read all of Wikipedia I could be attempting to improve myself in some way and all I do is look at clothes, girls in clothes and blogs written about girls in clothes...

Please I hope I'm not becoming dumber,

Please I hope nobody is dead, thinking someone is dead is a horrible feeling

Sick

I haven't left home for the last three days, when I cough I double over in pain, my head hurts, I have no voice and I'm bored beyond belief.

To shake things up today I decided to put on a bra.

How am I going?

I feel like crap! I have felt like crap for a very long time and now I feel like super crap, I wish I could say it's some emotional romantic dilemma that involves a vengeful ex girlfriend and my family held hostage but alas life in the Kimberly world is never adventurous.

I just have a fucking horrible cold, not a boo hoo I'm a little stuffed up better take the day off work wink wink and go to IMAX instead...I wish. It's one of those painful colds where every muscle hurts (especially my right bicep go figure) and my head is packed full of swollen sinus ejaculate (trying to work some new words for snot into everyday conversation) and all I can stomach is soup but when I have soup unless it's chunky I can't tell the difference between it and ejaculate (well that and the fact there is usually a massive quantity difference I'm just chuckling this bit in but look at the the wikipedia entry on ejaculation it has a video) which was what happened with 'The man wth no names' Potato and Leek soup today last night he made mulligatawny which when I'm well is divine and one of the best things on earth but when I'm sick it's spiced ejaculate with chicken and apple pieces.

Ok this really makes me sound like a right slurry doesn't it?


Anyways in Other non ejaculate related Kimberly stories my dear friend 'The Americano' has come and left Australia and we managed to condense two and half years of half arsed friendship into ten days of overbearing clingy awkwardness... and that was just from me

No it was actually quite nice, I really don't have a core group of friends in Sydney who meet up every saturday and talk and drink like they do on T.V most of my friends have either a) moved away from Sydney or b) are individuals that I can't just group together with other friends and kill two birds with one stone or c) people trying to fuck me. So it was good catching up and having amzing meals and drinking massive quanities of alcohol and talking, talking is one of my favourite things except now that when I talk I remember stuff from my drug addled youth(that's Kimberly from ages 17-22) like dressing up in very odd costumes and fighting people in said costumes... which led me to locate said pictures from my fightingd days... day... night.

It's not good Kimberly in grey boilersuit thing made of stretchy paper material not good.

Need more drugs to forget it.

Splendour 2009: Part One

I am writing this in bed from Brunswick Heads staying at this cute cottage crammed with 6 of us all awaiting Splendour, I'm the only girl here and it becomes really obvious when I realise most of the people in this cottage have never been around a woman other than their mother.

I have been in a car for twelve hours today and I didn't get a single wink of sleep last night or today I'm a wee bit wired, every month towards the end I usually have this odd convergence of my menstrual period/ the busiest time at work and general family and personal dilemmas that haunt me always and I think I'm coming down with a cold my throat is swollen and sore.

Oh well on Saturday I will get to see'The Specials' live and it will all be worth it.

It hurts to live.

It hurts to live....

I'm really quite sick and my body is now getting all ouchy, and one of the main foods I have been existing on is my own phlegm.

Still having my delirious marriage fantasies, are there any takers? I'm a cheap date, I can survive on my own phlegm... now how about a kiss?

And because I am one some stupid unprocessed wheat-free, sugar-free, caffeine-free flavour-free diet I have no fun sick people food to eat like ice cream and peanut butter and snickers bars, Or my favourite my fathers magic brown drink, it contained lemon juice, honey, lemon zest, aspirin, scotch or brandy and topped with boiling water it was the bestest and I never can get the ratios right (I suspect Father kept the alcohol content quite high in order to keep us drunk and not complaining about having a cold) but I don't have any scotch in the house, and I can't speak so I can't even call mother to pick some up and she doesn't know how to read text messages. GAH!

Father used to also check the progress of our colds by making us smell the vanilla essence bottle if we couldn't smell the vanilla we were still sick, and when our eyes were watering because inhaled vanilla and alcohol into our sinuses we were obviously better, in really bad pain, but healthier.

Ooh I forgot I think the bottle shop delivers (Marrickville Rocks!), can you drink alcohol with cold and flu tablets?

Powered by ScribeFire.

temorarily insane I hope

I think I'm delirious I have only consumed six strawberries, a bottle of flat sugar-free lemonade and a whole heap of pain-killers and cold and flu vitamins and I have been in bed for the last twelve hours, not sleeping because I can't really breathe but in some sort of daze highlighted by random coughing fits and my throat slowly swelling shut. The worst part however is the fact that I'm having elaborate fantasies involving me getting married and having several kids and being rather happy that I did so.

Lets hope it is temporary, very very temporary.

Powered by ScribeFire.

I just coughed up something

It's all blerghy and it's coloured with all the ugliest traits of green and yellow, and my body seizes up every time I cough.

Serves me right I suppose for my heathen lifestyle and the impure thoughts I've been having of peanut butter of late.

Mmm peanut butter, honey and a sprinkling of nutmeg on warm,freshly baked baguettes.

CRAP! now I'm having wheat fantasies.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Sick

I had to cancel work yesterday and today, because I have a bloody cold, and voice is all scratchy.

Well at least I'll finally get to sleep.

And a previous post related tnagent, Did you know that consuming large amounts of Brussel Sprouts has a similar effect to asparagus when peeing? well I didn't and now I do know, interesting stuff isn't it?

I'm going to crawl back in under my doona/duvet/quilt blanket type thing, overdose on paracetamol and wish for a boy who can make me sugar-free cocoa and give neck rubs while reminding me of how hot I am.