So...

My friend 'The Americano' is in town for the next few days which is funnily awkward enough as I used to do him and even funnier as now I'm seeing someone else, I haven't got a name for him so he'll be 'The man with no name' I'm only blogging about this because a) I know both of these gentlemen sneak around reading my blog and b) I like to create personal drama when theres not any to begin with.

Even though chances are they'll never meet I'm secretly hoping for a 'Women in Love' style naked brawl (cannot find a video of it online other than this scene) involving them and few other exes of mine, it would be hawt and I could referee and oil everyone up in between rounds. Actually that reminds I should rewatch I forgot how hot young Alan Bates.

must add him to the men I'd smoke list.

I did get a case of Larabars from 'The Americano' which makes me super happy, and super regular too.

Still all and all I love seeing old friends, it gives me the warms and fuzzies

I had two days off this week because I lost my voice, I seem to lose it every month or so but when you work on phones it's your money maker so I just have to sit at home wondering what to do that doesn't involve talking.

Most of the time is spent planning my wedding to Alex, my dress, the cake, the band, now I'm not really the marrying type (as I have never been married so I would assume that I'm not ) but for him I'll make an exception.

Also when I'm bored I'm also usually trolling Etsy or looking at food porn


I sometimes like to pretend I'm a mature responsible adult and spend my free days de-cluttering the home, and making pastries and cakes for the household, or buying seasonal fruit and making bulk lots of jam. I usually start and then witing ten miniutes am distracted but t.v, internet or sleep.

Now I'm imagining what I'm going to have for lunch, I feel like eating persian fetta straight out of the jar but I won't (I don't have enough)

I'm getting married! and I want you to meet him

Isn’t he dreamy? He’s a food writer oh and he’s the lead singer of his own band… how bohemian!

Anyway I decided in January when I saw him live that I was going to marry him and after four and a bit months of restless nights I think I’m going to make it happen.

OK maybe not but if anyone knows anyone from Franz Ferdinand y’know drop them a message to pass onto Alex that Kimberly is ready and waiting.

At work daydreaming, Channel V is constantly looping Franz Ferdinand today (they play it at work constantly in the background) and it has triggered many Alex Kapranos fantasies.

Christmas Dinner turned out a treat, I forget that I'm actually capable of making quite lovely meals when I pay attention and follow recipes, except Mother kinda ruined dessert she bought some hideous low fat flavour free chocolate swirl ice cream, which went well with anything.

But alls well that ends well, there is barely any leftovers to pack away or clean up but still a little Sangria and Caddyshack on the T.V

This is how Jesus would of wanted it.

Christmas 2007

Well I'm officially moving into a cute lil' terrace house in my beloved Marrickville.

It's Christmas Eve and I'm watching some horrid made for TV movie a modern take of a Christmas Carol with Tori Spelling, Gary Coleman and William Shatner..

I have to stay up and watch it as I have to stay up late tonight to cook Christmas dinner as Mother decided at 4pm Cristmas eve that I would be hosting Christmas Dinner at my house and that Deryn would be driving down to Sydney to eat and then flee back home to make breakfasts for hungover millionaires on Boxing Day.

With no notice and a hurried shouted out shopping list to my mother over the phone in a low reception area Christmas will be as follows.

Vichy Carrots
My Roast Potato Salad.
Blanched Green Beans with Almonds
Roast Leg of Lamb with a balsamic and mint sauce
Roast Pork with an Apple Hazlenut Stuffing and Apple/Hazlenut Butter Sauce
Christmas Icecream (packaged pudding and booze mixed through ice-cream)
Fresh fruit and Brandy Custard
Sangria

It's not bad for a few hours planning and using the crap in my cupboard, let's hope it works out...

It did however throw a spanner in the works as it has totally fucked up my plan of getting stoned whilst watching musicals all day.

Family... bah humbug!

At least National Lampoon Christmas will be on so there is a positive, it is one of the great Christmas Movies out there.

Splendour in the Grass: In Summary

It freakin rocked the proverbial casbah!

My period started on the first day

Then at the gates I realised I had forgotten my i.d.

But I batted my eyelids and managed to get in.

I barely slept all weekend, and when I did I didn't do it well, thank goodness for drugs and organic dark chocolate filled doughnuts.

I consumed more doughnuts than drugs I must say.

I consumed more doughnuts than oxygen at splendour.

I consumed more soup than doughnuts at splendour.

Oh apparently there was some music too.

I spent an awful lot of time drinking goon in the carpark with my brother and his friends.

I also spent an awful lot of time in the carpark looking after my brother after he passed out after consuming too much goon in the carpark.

I spent an awful lot of money

I spent around twenty hours in a rental van.

I spent several hours boiling water for coffee every morning only to find out when leaving the camp-site that there was a public urn on the camp-site that was free to use.

I purchased an awful lot of plastic jewellery.

I spent an awful lot of time bulldozing through crowds either to get closer to the stage or further away from it.

I spent ten minutes today trying to remove my admission bracelet.

Operator Please, Old Man River,Tilly and the Wall, The Herd, The Cat Empire, Sarah Blasko, Hot Chip, Cut Copy DJ's, Holly Throsby, Josh Pike, Hot Chip DJ's, Hoodoo Gurus, Dirty Three, The Shins and The Artic Monkeys are who I got to see.

I will so be back next year. It took me several hours sitting at my computer to get the tickets but I'm so glad I did.

It hurts to live.

It hurts to live....

I'm really quite sick and my body is now getting all ouchy, and one of the main foods I have been existing on is my own phlegm.

Still having my delirious marriage fantasies, are there any takers? I'm a cheap date, I can survive on my own phlegm... now how about a kiss?

And because I am one some stupid unprocessed wheat-free, sugar-free, caffeine-free flavour-free diet I have no fun sick people food to eat like ice cream and peanut butter and snickers bars, Or my favourite my fathers magic brown drink, it contained lemon juice, honey, lemon zest, aspirin, scotch or brandy and topped with boiling water it was the bestest and I never can get the ratios right (I suspect Father kept the alcohol content quite high in order to keep us drunk and not complaining about having a cold) but I don't have any scotch in the house, and I can't speak so I can't even call mother to pick some up and she doesn't know how to read text messages. GAH!

Father used to also check the progress of our colds by making us smell the vanilla essence bottle if we couldn't smell the vanilla we were still sick, and when our eyes were watering because inhaled vanilla and alcohol into our sinuses we were obviously better, in really bad pain, but healthier.

Ooh I forgot I think the bottle shop delivers (Marrickville Rocks!), can you drink alcohol with cold and flu tablets?

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I just coughed up something

It's all blerghy and it's coloured with all the ugliest traits of green and yellow, and my body seizes up every time I cough.

Serves me right I suppose for my heathen lifestyle and the impure thoughts I've been having of peanut butter of late.

Mmm peanut butter, honey and a sprinkling of nutmeg on warm,freshly baked baguettes.

CRAP! now I'm having wheat fantasies.

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Is it wrong

Is it wrong to really really want to eat peanut butter out of the jar, in fact just eat a whole jar of peanut butter, all by myself for breakfast while watching bad morning television?

I have an urge to do so, that's bad Kimberly! that's very naughty, you are a bad, bad girl, you need to be spanked... now assume the position.

umm err I think that was my subconscious, I obviously need peanut butter, and a good spanking apparently.

I just went to the cupboard, I don't have any peanut butter GAH!

Number One in the Hood!

Whilst he was here "The Americano" introduced me to this little t.v. show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" he also introduced me to throwing up on strangers OK he may not of been technically responsible for it but he was there at the time, and I have never thrown up in public before that so in my head he seems to be the cause. Anyway the point of the story is that I really enjoyed the show and yesterday whilst I was grocery shopping I saw the first season D.V.D. and spent a good ten minutes deliberating if food this week was really that important.

Of course D.V.D won and now I'm hungry, Ok I have plenty of food at home I just like fresh food, and I like having a fridge full of Haloumi, which won't happen this week, so I'm slumming it with Tofu. Blergh! OK it's not that bad I like tofu and I make the most divine Salt and Pepper Tofu (it's like the squid only more tofuey and much cheaper)

Mother is visiting now she brought carrot cake, I told her that I can't eat carrot cake or any other cake and haven't been doing so for several months.


INT: KIMBERLY'S APARTMENT,

MOTHER:
Are you on a diet?

KIMBERLY:
Technically yes.

MOTHER:
Oh Honey! you've lost weight too!

KIMBERLY:
yes I have.

MOTHER:
Honey, if you lose weight I will love you more.

KIMBERLY:
Mum?

MOTHER:
Yes Honey?

KIMBERLY:
You have it wrong, it's 'I would love it , if you lost more weight'

MOTHER:
Really? oh OK, you want some cake?

Now I'm going to curl up with some tofu and watch some ATHF.

My Darling brother has come to visit me which means watching DVD's and eating yummy food, except I cannot eat anything yummy, which makes me sad (insert frowny face here)

I got over it when I bought hideously expensive giant strawberries, they would of been a whole lot better if they were accompanied with chocolate and double cream.

Deryn did however buy me a huge warm hooded jumper with decapitated monkeys on it, it's so deliciously ugly.

Am flat out with work at the moment, last night they told me I was a star.

I am craving haloumi at the moment I want to eat it by the kilo with rocket and a balsamic reduction.

All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something
All work and no wheat makes Kimberly go something

I just realised after typing it out five time I could of just copied and pasted it four more times.

See what happens when I don't get any toast.

Doctor made me give up wheat again because it made me think I was pregnant.

She said that wheat was a bad influence on me and we couldn't be friends anymore, which is a shame because I loved wheat I really did, wheat completed me filled me with it's starchy love, visited me in so many forms as pasta, as freshly baked bread rolls, as biscuits and in beer but no more I have to be yet again one of those gluten free wankers.

It could be worse I suppose, I could be short.

P.S. wheat free stuff is really expensive

Life is good when work finishes early and you go straight home, make yourself a huge bowl of penne, open up a bottle of beer and watch '9 to 5'

What is less good is trying to paint an eighth of a toenail during said movie.