Day off from work.

I have the day off from work, I slept in til 11:30 am which is very much a first for me i haven't done that in years.

I'm going to spend my day watching Mad Men and tidying up and wishing that I was a stay at home wife whose life involved secret drinking during the day, making pies in the afteroon and being done whore style in the evening.

It's the three things I do very well, sigh I wish I was in the 50's/ 60's before women went and fucked it all up.

Le Sigh

Back to blogging

Am writing blog again, decided if I have time to go online have time to write inane crap about what I want, nobody reads this drivel, so I’m just going to store the brain overflow here

- I want another tattoo (something a little less sarcastic)

- I want to get my left nipple pierced

- I want to have a wedding (I don’t want to get married but I want an excuse to wear a white dress and have a multi story cake with a statue on it)

- I want a Chanel 2.55 (it’s a handbag peoples)

- I want to learn how to drive

- I want to stop everything work/ study related for three months and not ruin my life

- I want to go a whole week without wheat… without cheating on the occasional beer

- I want to go to Fuji Rock, Lollapalooza, and Glastonbury

- I want a leopard print dress that makes me look rootable

- I want to perfect my maple glazed pork belly recipe

- I want to start a degree and finish it without taking time off to make money to pay for a house I don’t even want

- I want to to sleep eight hours a night

- I want to read a novel a week again.

- I want to win a pub trivia jackpot

What Ifs

I daydream far too much.

And of late they have been becoming far too elaborate, my life is full of far too many 'What ifs' I spent all shift thinking about how bad or unfortunate my timing is.

I need to focus, new semester soon, Splendour in the Grass soon, hot and sexy man with millions of dollars and low standards moving next door soon.

Wait. reality. deep breath. focus Kimberly

Lessons Learned while on my two week holiday from reality. a.k.a Bedridden and when not bedridden overcompensating with partying

1) I'm still hot
2) That I will never ever fear being attracted to any of my darling friend Boo's beaux as they are all an 'acquired' taste (I say this Boo as you my darling are the only person who reads this and you already know what I think about your taste in boys and I just want it on record)
3) Even though I'm very easy to get drunk, It's very hard to actually get me to passed out and date rapeable much to to the dismay of Taxi drivers at 6:30am.
4) I'm still hot
5) I gravitate to the computer a lot when I'm out of it (I suppose it's the modern day equivalent of being a loud opinionated drunk instead I drink and blog)
6) I need to find a partner or a maid at least, I'm pathetic while sick and my flat is a testament to that.
7) I am still in awe of the the magic of quality make-up when it's applied by a professional (a.k.a me) it can hide so many flaws caused by sins.

temorarily insane I hope

I think I'm delirious I have only consumed six strawberries, a bottle of flat sugar-free lemonade and a whole heap of pain-killers and cold and flu vitamins and I have been in bed for the last twelve hours, not sleeping because I can't really breathe but in some sort of daze highlighted by random coughing fits and my throat slowly swelling shut. The worst part however is the fact that I'm having elaborate fantasies involving me getting married and having several kids and being rather happy that I did so.

Lets hope it is temporary, very very temporary.

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Is it wrong

Is it wrong to really really want to eat peanut butter out of the jar, in fact just eat a whole jar of peanut butter, all by myself for breakfast while watching bad morning television?

I have an urge to do so, that's bad Kimberly! that's very naughty, you are a bad, bad girl, you need to be spanked... now assume the position.

umm err I think that was my subconscious, I obviously need peanut butter, and a good spanking apparently.

I just went to the cupboard, I don't have any peanut butter GAH!

The other day

The other day I saw a crow swoop onto a pigeon, fight with it and take it's head clean off, I was just thinking about it and that sort of thing isn't the kind of thing you see every day (unless you breed pigeons and crows for some sort of extreme to-the-death cock fights) this was all happening about a couple of metres in front of me and all I was thinking as I was fumbling in my pocket for my camera was this would get so many hits on YouTube.

I am the future, isn't that a reassuring thought?