temorarily insane I hope

I think I'm delirious I have only consumed six strawberries, a bottle of flat sugar-free lemonade and a whole heap of pain-killers and cold and flu vitamins and I have been in bed for the last twelve hours, not sleeping because I can't really breathe but in some sort of daze highlighted by random coughing fits and my throat slowly swelling shut. The worst part however is the fact that I'm having elaborate fantasies involving me getting married and having several kids and being rather happy that I did so.

Lets hope it is temporary, very very temporary.

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I just coughed up something

It's all blerghy and it's coloured with all the ugliest traits of green and yellow, and my body seizes up every time I cough.

Serves me right I suppose for my heathen lifestyle and the impure thoughts I've been having of peanut butter of late.

Mmm peanut butter, honey and a sprinkling of nutmeg on warm,freshly baked baguettes.

CRAP! now I'm having wheat fantasies.

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Yo!

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Is it wrong

Is it wrong to really really want to eat peanut butter out of the jar, in fact just eat a whole jar of peanut butter, all by myself for breakfast while watching bad morning television?

I have an urge to do so, that's bad Kimberly! that's very naughty, you are a bad, bad girl, you need to be spanked... now assume the position.

umm err I think that was my subconscious, I obviously need peanut butter, and a good spanking apparently.

I just went to the cupboard, I don't have any peanut butter GAH!

Um err I um, I might of been a little drunk last night, I managed to get an invite to a British India show at the Annandale, decided I also wanted to see improv comedy as well (I like the improv comedy) so went and saw some of that too, I dragged my darling Boo out into the cold and we drank and laughed and we drank and then we drank and then we went to Maccas, and boo being the darling she is ate the bread off my burgers so I wouldn't get sick, I loves her ever so much.


I think I'm still a little drunk.

dancing with myself

where are trhe americnjanos when yuou are drunk and horny????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


Just went out with boo, we got very drunk and I got very drunker, just got home and AI want to ewat lots and lots fo breeatd . Tuesdays rochk the fucking cashbahhik!

keyboad keeps on moving keep still dan=mmit, three dollars get out o here!

woot I need a burger or twi


I ne ed gto

P.S> I love uyou bvooo!

The other day

The other day I saw a crow swoop onto a pigeon, fight with it and take it's head clean off, I was just thinking about it and that sort of thing isn't the kind of thing you see every day (unless you breed pigeons and crows for some sort of extreme to-the-death cock fights) this was all happening about a couple of metres in front of me and all I was thinking as I was fumbling in my pocket for my camera was this would get so many hits on YouTube.

I am the future, isn't that a reassuring thought?

Number One in the Hood!

Whilst he was here "The Americano" introduced me to this little t.v. show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" he also introduced me to throwing up on strangers OK he may not of been technically responsible for it but he was there at the time, and I have never thrown up in public before that so in my head he seems to be the cause. Anyway the point of the story is that I really enjoyed the show and yesterday whilst I was grocery shopping I saw the first season D.V.D. and spent a good ten minutes deliberating if food this week was really that important.

Of course D.V.D won and now I'm hungry, Ok I have plenty of food at home I just like fresh food, and I like having a fridge full of Haloumi, which won't happen this week, so I'm slumming it with Tofu. Blergh! OK it's not that bad I like tofu and I make the most divine Salt and Pepper Tofu (it's like the squid only more tofuey and much cheaper)

Mother is visiting now she brought carrot cake, I told her that I can't eat carrot cake or any other cake and haven't been doing so for several months.


INT: KIMBERLY'S APARTMENT,

MOTHER:
Are you on a diet?

KIMBERLY:
Technically yes.

MOTHER:
Oh Honey! you've lost weight too!

KIMBERLY:
yes I have.

MOTHER:
Honey, if you lose weight I will love you more.

KIMBERLY:
Mum?

MOTHER:
Yes Honey?

KIMBERLY:
You have it wrong, it's 'I would love it , if you lost more weight'

MOTHER:
Really? oh OK, you want some cake?

Now I'm going to curl up with some tofu and watch some ATHF.

wrecked and ruined

On Monday, Brother and I finally signed the last of the bloody documents...

The "Dead Dad Estate" looks like it's finally settled, I'm happy...ish

It was good going up to Newcastle, seeing Deryn and looking at the "Pasha Bulker" wreck on Nobby's Beach,

If you don't know about the Pasha Bulker click here.

And look at the mobile phone photo I took



It's funny there were hundreds of tourists all lined along the road, looking and taking photos of the wreck, and apparently it gets even more crowded at night because it's all lit up and gorgeous, they all want to get their photos taken in front of it before they repair her and she leaves.

The photo does not show how huge the boat is, it really is a massive site, and it's all on a beach I have been to hundreds of times.

I in my typical tasteless style wanted to get a photo of Deryn and me in front of the wreck, Deryn in his typical "Anti-whatever-Kimberly-wants-to-do" style disagreed but he obliged me with a cheesy "myspace-style" self portrait.



We were both cute kids, that had a really hideous adolescence, but I think my brother and I might turn out to be tolerable adults.

But yeah Deryn and I are getting slightly more attractive and the estate is settled, It's not much but I am at a pretty happy place right now, now where's the man who wants to marry me?

stu-pid-i-ty

�noun, plural -ties for 2.
1.
the state, quality, or fact of being stupid.
2.
a stupid act, notion, speech, etc.
3.
Kimberly.


So on Friday night, after work I go to another friends birthday party and drag along my dear friend Boo, because she needs to party too, and I'm having a great time dancing to the cheesiest music, anyways the night tapers off and I check my phone and am shocked to find a lewd sms by the ex we know on here as "Rocky" so anyways, I respond with a nice "how are you" and the text messages taper off as the night winds down, I taxi it home then I pass out in bed.

The next morning I get woken by my phone ringing, it's "Rocky" wanting to chat, which leads to an invitation for drinks, which makes me all curious as to why he is contacting me now a year since we were together and also I want my copy of "1984" back so I agree and head to Newtown for a couple of hours...

I started on diet coke, which turned into beer, my leaving time went from seven pm to one am, we just talked but I know he wants me (mainly because he said it to me). But I don't know if I'm tempted enough. I'm hoping my slight level of temptation was alcohol related.

I'm stupid aren't I?

nothing to say, staying up late reading net comics.

click here

now laugh

I have nothing to say other than other than I am addicted to Facebook now, if you are on there go join the group 'The Farce Side' it's has more great cartoons like the one above by my friend Nib, and then add me as a friend so I can stalk you on yet another networking site.

I NEED A MAN!!

OK the title sounds desperate and in many ways I am desperate...

OK I'm not really desperate but I have just been out all night dancing the night away and I am ready to jump and maul the nearest human being.

So help me people where does one find someone who doesn't mind being mauled at 5am on a Sunday morning? I am willing to pay***








***Payment would be made in compliments or preserves or a combination of both, to be used within six months of said mauling

feeling like a girl

I must be ovulating or something, I'm gooey and sentimental at the moment, I saw some parts of the telemovie 'Anne of Green Gables- The Sequel' on the T.V. and started getting all gooey over my childhood fantasies that involved me and Gilbert Blythe and him confessing his undying love for me while dying of typhoid (as was the style in those days) which led me to thinking about all the other L.M. Montgomery books I had read (a quick Google made me realise I had read them all) but in particular this one little romantic tale that I used to read it's in the novel "The Golden Road" anyways there is this one chapter that make me all gooey whenever I read it, it's meant to be written by the point of view of a thirteen year old girl who is a precocious story teller, but I read it again last night and was a blubbering mess.

Anyway I want you to read it and tell me that it is worthy of my uterine contractions. it's only five mins I assure you.

Let me present to you "The Love Story of the Awkward Man"

I'm such a suck

Deryn wants to move to Armidale

Mother is planning on moving back to San Francisco

In the meantime I will be here in Sydney

We will all be a considerable distance apart from each other which a good thing politically, OK I'm not pissed off about Mum going back to America, I like her a lot more when she is overseas, and it means I can use visiting her as an excuse when I go to Tijuana on drinking binge holidays.

I am however pissed off about Deryn, he should move to Sydney with me and cook stuff for me on demand, not go further away and cook stuff for other people on demand.

OK I am more pissed off with me because I'm at a crossroads and have been tempted to change courses (yet again) and go back to my original plan of teaching, and also leaving Sydney.

But of course I would suck as a teacher and really would only be doing it for the holidays.

Can someone make a decision for me and tell me what to do?, I hate being a grown up and having to do all this crap for myself.

As a thank you I'll make you some jam.

My bad luck: brought to you by the letter "L"

I just went rummaging through my lame-ass attempt at "The worlds greatest D.V.D. collection" thinking what would be a good movie to drink cocoa to before bed, I don't feel like anything too draining.

As I looked through my collection, a shimmering white cover caught my eye, it was a recent purchase of mine a lucky one as it was only ten dollars, it was the D.V.D. of one of my favourite musicals "Gigi"

As I settle down with my cocoa, ready to watch a lovely movie I open the case and see the hideous image of Jennifer Lopez grabbing Ben Affleck by his shirt and in hideous purple letters "Gigli"

Anyway the point of the story is one stray "l" has ruined my night

Sick

I had to cancel work yesterday and today, because I have a bloody cold, and voice is all scratchy.

Well at least I'll finally get to sleep.

And a previous post related tnagent, Did you know that consuming large amounts of Brussel Sprouts has a similar effect to asparagus when peeing? well I didn't and now I do know, interesting stuff isn't it?

I'm going to crawl back in under my doona/duvet/quilt blanket type thing, overdose on paracetamol and wish for a boy who can make me sugar-free cocoa and give neck rubs while reminding me of how hot I am.