It's Christmas day, I am waiting up for my brothers arrival, I should be cleaning my flat, but I'm procrastinating as usual, but I did make him trifle which is sort of the same. It's the first official Christmas trifle I have made without the assistance of dad, I started crying when the jelly wouldn't set right but it went alright and hopefully nobody will die.

I am uber broke, and I have a million things to do.

I have to update you on a few things theres mystery, mayhem and more men than you can poke a stick at (that is assuming you can only poke a stick at one man at the most)

Merry Christmas, and etc. and bug me and keep on bugging me until i post again

It all ends tommorrow.

I graduate tomorrow,
next stop the Apocalypse.
I'm scared.
I'm excited.
I don't know what to do.
any ideas?

WARNING: you may be able to see a boobie

bodypaaintingedit02
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is a body painting I just did last week, it's my take on one of my most favourite artworks ever "Girl Before a Mirror" by Picasso, it's just such a bright, beautiful painting, and always makes me feel much more creative, I just hope my work did it justice I mean it's fucking Picasso for chris'sakes

Another sample of my work.

ageingedit01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is a before and after photo of my mother, In the photo on the left she is forty-five and wearing a nice basic make-up in the photo isn't she cute, but in the photo on the right I made her up to be a sixty-five year old homeless person.

She didn't like me much that day but if she doesn't look after me that could be her future.

(ooh and the beannie she is wearing I knitted that!)

A potent mix.

The combination of red wine, sex, cigarettes and me thinking I could dance to the end credits of a movie has resulted in me spending six hours in the emergency ward and eight stitches in my right leg and one in my left.

My apartment right now looks like it has been used as a maxi-pad, I should do something about that.

Oh yeah and "one night stand boy" has been upgraded to dating status, and will now be referred to as 'Rocky' I seem to bring out the bad 'Rocky Balboa' impersonation out in him.

But he is really cute.

I feel more and more inept everyday, I was thinking it was some sort of depression associated with the end of the year and of school and the like but it's not a depression it's genuine ineptitude, I feel like I'm getting stupider (?) and more useless.

Am developing far too much of a fondness for red wine... it's just soooo nice

I need a change, a new job, a new plan, a new hairstyle, I wonder how I'd go as a blonde?

I don't need it... really.

I just want to be useful again.

Maybe I'm not feeling inept, just unwanted.

Is this is what being human feels like?

I met "one night stand boy" again after work last night and got blind drunk and took him home.
We stayed up late watching dvd's and having sex, this whole entire day was spent sleeping, having sex and watching dvd's naked, and I had fun, and I felt human...ish it was relaxing and did I mention fun.

However now I will be up all night doing assignments I should of completed today.

Oh the sacrifices I make for sex.

But fuck it was worth it!

Well theres the...

Stupid one night stand i had on Saturday night, it was fun, he was fun, it was good, he was good, I was good he was incredibly stupid.
Sunday was work I was stupid and tired and employers took advantage.
Monday was exam I was oh so tired and feeling much worse for wear.
Monday Night I went to a secret Dandy Warhols concert at "The Annandale Hotel"
Tuesday I couldn't wake up my heat ached my body ached, my throat was swollen
Wednesday (Today) I wake up I still can'tswallow I have tonsilitis

I want to die

I'd try to sleep but everytime I close my eyes I get an image of a young man dancing around the room wearing nothing but a used condom and singing "Eye of the tiger" this seems to the type of man I seem to attract.

It could be worse he could of been short.

The dandy warhols

The dandy warhols
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Am at the secret Dandy Warhols at the Annandale Hotel it's rocking the casbah

Melbourne cup Day

It's tomorrow, I should have a bet, in fact I do believe I have to bet as I think it's actually a law that at 3:15 I must stop all brain activity and pretend I'm interested in horses.

My father would of betted on "On a Jeune" so I will put money on that one

I will put money on "Leica Falcon" because I always like to bet on horses trained by someone called Gai Waterhouse, plus she has the most kickarse name.

Because I recently did the make-up on a short film that had an eye gouging I shall also put money on "Eye Popper"

And "Railing" is another one that I do like the sound of.

My safe predictability will probably make me put money on that bloody "Makybe Diva" But I really want her to lose.

It really is stupid but I'm Australian it's my right to bet on horses and pretend I have a knowledge of the entire activity for one whole day and then brag about the fact that I put money on the winner (easy to acomplish as most place bets on all horses)

ignore me when I'm...

drunk,

drinking coffee,

writing blog entries,

speaking,

breathing,

I'm drunk

I have just consumed most of a bottle of red wine nd I'm watching romancing the stone you know the movie with michael douglas and that kickarse billy (you know the black dude) song "whjen the going gets tough the tough get going"

It's so humid, the weather is made for sex except I have nobody to fuck, i just want to make out with somenbody, feel warm, sweaty skin next to mine, I want someone to kiss me between my shoulderblades and muzzle my neck someone whp will linger with thioer kisses and caress me, why can't I find someone to do all that?

I need a boyfriend.

I need to get laid.

I need to lay off the red wine.

I asked an old fuckbuddy to come over and he w2s too busy, I texted someone else and he hasn't replied, I hate being drunk and hornmy and with too many thoughts in my head because I just get far too restless.

I don't know what ndo with my li8fe, I'm intellkigent, I'm ARTICULATE AND FUCK i'M EVEN WITTY but I don;'t know what to do somebody tell em because i'm losing sleep, and i need my sleedp, it's getting far too mcuh for me.

I shoudl go to bedd
would be much better if a man was joining me though.

grrrrf

I'm just going to type.

I'm just going to type what is in my head without censor, for four minutes

I wonder sometimes , what is wrong with my head? I think such bizarre thoughts I can't be the only person who thinks these things? I'm not that unique, I can't be, theres no such thing as an Unique thought, I mean someone has to of thought the same way that I have, made the same decisions craved the same thing, and probably as I speak someone right now is thinking the exact same thing, why can't I find this person, why can't I find someone who thinks just like me?
It's exhausting knowing that this person may be out there and not able to say hello to me.

I'm tired,

I need to rest, I need to find people who think like me

and also have money.

The Best thing Ever!

Last night I got High and watched "The Great Escape" and seriously it was the most fun I have had in ages, that movie was made for potheads!

I don't condone getting high and I don't do it on a regular basis but goddamnit! I needed a break.

But seriously try the combination, I must say it was better than mediocre sex.

this doesn't really help New Zealand's reputation in Australia.

tee hee hee.

it also makes Boo's, psychotic bunny story not seem so cruel

it also makes me think that Rabbit predjudice is on the rise in Australia.

Window Shopping

The Window Shopper Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf) Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper. You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come. Your exact opposite: The Stiletto Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns. Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs. BEWARE: The Hornivore CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy, The Boy Next Door Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: agirlwithcurls

I love

I love going to the gym and watching Beavis and Butthead marathons while i'm on a bike
I love long lukewarm showers
I love concealing pimples and redness on peoples skin
I love cheese and wholegrain mustard on wholegrain toast
I love ginger ale
I love being so tired that I fall asleep on my couch
I love leaving important things til the last minute
I love the feel of cold tile against my skin, so much so I often just lie in my bathroom
I love cooking things in my bamboo steamer
I love reading through the IKEA catalogue
I love roasted garlic
I love shandies (thats beer and lemonade) I also love , Strongbow cider and watermelon caprioskas.
I love cleaning my ears with a cotton bud
I love watching people on the bus
I love two dollar shops
I love that thick custard that bakeries have in their cakes.
I love finishing a knitting project
I love reading Spike in the Sydney Morning Herald
I love putting nutmeg on my cereal at breakfast
I love to ride my bike through Marrickville at 3am
I love the freckles on mens shoulders
I love to have imaginary conversations with my friends in my head.
I love pin-up girl images
I love strawberries
actually it's all pretty good

Curse you Sudoku!

Well, on thursday we finally settled the Dead Dad Estate, Deryn and I were so overcome with emotion, that we as soon as we stepped out of the solicitors office laughed and gave each other the biggest warmest hug I have ever experienced, we will be about $15,000 poorer than we intended but fuck it everything is settled now and Deryn and I own a House.

I got to hang out with my dear friend Lib also on thursday, I love hanging out with her, she is a conservative, middle class christian, and I'm a gullible, left wing, poverty stricken Unitarian but we just get along so well it's so bizarre, anyway I adore her all the same.

I also completed my first Sudoku puzzle on thursday, it was at the diabolical level and I finished it, I never did them because they just looked so dull, but now that I have done one I've got a taste for them, curse you Sudoku

A quick note

German food and lots of beer isn't good
spent an hour at Gym trying to work it off, oh my german food is far too rich
need to sleep.
Have work in a few hours, oh fuckbuckets

So much to say so little to tell.

I havent been here for a while

- I was in Manly doing make-up for a charity show, it was the most fun I have ever had (without being tied up naked to a telegraph show)
- I turned my dear gal-pal Ramona into a tsunami victim for an Assignment
- I helped teach ten year old girls how to do theatre make-up
-I got t do make-up for the Deadly awards and meet famous people like Ernie Dingo and Casey Donovan
- I also got mistaken for Casey donovan
-I went on date type thing and saw Wallace and Grommit
- I havent slept in weeks
- When I oficially become a home owner in a weeks time I will owe the government $8000
- Have missed my Dad too much this week
-I'm broke-ish
-Ok I'm really broke
-But it could be worse, I could be short

Come to the 'ville!

Tommorrow in the bestest suburb in Sydney, no it's not Clovelly it's my suburb of Marrickville, anyway tomorrow is the "Marrickville Festival" the best day ever where you gorge on miniature pancakes and thai food and just have a real good time listening to music, and looking at samples and flyers.

Anyway I live in Marrickville and I am issuing an open invitation to all who read to come visit marrickville and party hard with me, all you have to do is from Railway Square in the city catch a 423 or a 426 and when you get to Marrickville rd, just Holler my name, I'll find you, or better still, email me or text me and I'll tell you where to meet me.

If you don't know me i'll be the fat chick with frizzy hair causing a scene.

Hope to see you there

What do you think?

What do you think?
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

We are making people bald at school at the moment and i'm seriously considering shaving my head, what do you guys think? That or getting my hair permanently straightened, please tell me your thoughts on the matter.

I have decided.

I have decided that people in relationships are stupid!

wait scratch that

I have decided that people in mediocre relationships are stupid!

no wait

I have decided that people content with being in mediocre relationships are stupid!

Anyway that's what I wanted to say, and that in hearing so many peoples relationship stories I'm going to make sure I don't settle for mediocrity in a relationship.

That and bad breath, I hate bastards with bad breath.

Oh and short people

Sent via mobile

Am on the bus on my way home from school, just saw my dear friend Richie for coffee and cake.

My life is kinda blurry, almost dream like nothing feels real or constant, I wonder if this feeling ever does end or at least calm down to more bearable levels?

Congratulations Kylie and Andy!

One of my dearest girlfriends Kylie just got engaged to her boy Andy

I'm so happy for her, but i'm also very pissed off

I want to get engaged, and plan a party that revolves around me in a white dress.

I want a three tiered cake with a minature me on top

Anyone want to get married?

no reason at all

I don't like myself, I never have and I probably never will,
I'm one of those people who complain for the sake of complaining.
I think I'm incredibly selfish
I think I'm incredibly shallow
I am a wanker, or will grow up to be one
A wanker in a fat chick with an afro suit.

Actually there is no reason why I dislike myself, I'm doing well at school, I have lovely friends, even work isn't that bad I just want to complain, because then at least i'm doing something

Unusual night I had this evening, wait now it's yesterday.
Went on second date
I had fun
you don't need to know more except 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was great.

Actually life is great, i'm just too shallow to realise

Tomorrow is Deryns birthday, Sunday is Father's Day

Now I'm teary, Now i'm going to bed.

Yes so, um err.

I have just been on a date, with a boy, and it wasn't a horrific experience, it was actually quite nice and who knows there might even be a second date.

I don't know what else to say umm err

I hate being at a loss for words.

I use the word 'I' too much

it's just a letter but it means so much to me.

I think I better go to bed.

I just looked at the picture from the last entry and shite! my legs and feet are shocking.

I wonder if doctors do cosmetic amputations?

Things I have to say, I need lots of money, and I need to get laid and I need to dance and I need to sleep for about fifty years

I'm kind of stuck in this feeling of awkward melancholy, I'm not miserable nor am I angy, I'm just feeling very very awkward.

I better go, I have to go and create wounds for first aid students

I'm still stickin it to the man!

I'm still stickin it to the man!
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

I'm a mutha fucking renegade!

You have to read this!

My brother's friend Daniel said something that was too true, that or I'm so high on antihistamines, that I find anything prolific.

I am cooking a real life Genuine Donna Hay recepie straight from the Sunday paper it has chorizo in it so I am very impressed with it already, I am so domestic, I am so the perfect package now why won't anybody love me?

Probably because I don't know how to love, loves love?

I'm slipping, world seems to be falling down around me, all I want to do is sleep.

Lense capped for life

make-up 006
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Well I'll make a long story short but a trip to my G.P. led to a trip to an Optometrist which led to him saying 'Fuck girl, you need glasses!' ok he would of phrased a little more eloquently but the fact is, that my vision has gotten worse and so now instead of a girl who needs reading glasses I'm a girl who needs glasses to go to the ladies room, well what do you think? they cost me $280 of next months school fees but I just couldn't bear to put something ugly on my face, my face needs all the help it can get.

I wonder if I become a full time glasses wearer I'll become more attractive to people with librarian fetishes? I am fat with nasty hair and cheap clothing I so could be a librarian.

"I'll show you a catalogue grrrrr!"

Ode to the D

My Brother Deryn is in Town and have spent the weekend in a happier than usual state (no it's not drug related) I don't really say how much I truly love my brother, but he is the most caring, charming, funny person I know, he has been for the last year and a half my rock (I know a tad cliched) and has inspired me more than anyone else I know (you know that is alive right now) and I am so happy and glad to know that whatever I do in my life that my brother will always be there and I hope that I can do the same for him when I get a life. Deryn my beautiful brother, YOU ROCK and I am so proud to call you my brother and my friend

Help!

Sent via sms: I an stuck somewhere i can't leave with an evil tyrant, a.k.a Mother please help!

Another nail in the coffin

Life is too busy at the moment I have too much to do and not enough time to do it in, I have been knocked around with a mother-fucker of a cold and have major assignment and I have no idea what to do, I want to cry but I'm too tired even to do that, I want to go out and get smashed and dance the night away. I have taken up smoking again, it's wrong, but fuck I love tobacco, it's so cancer causing I feel like a rebel everytime I light up.

Speaking of which I think I might go have a cigarette.

I need.

I need something to break the monotony (movie?) but it has to be cheap or better yet free (sex?) and that doesnt require me to make an effort or physically exert myself (bad sex?) but still makes me feel better about myself (sniff glue?)

I need a life.

I'm pathetic: part 673

I'm in an internet cafe right now, I have just purchased myself a ticket for the movie "The sisterhood of the travelling pants" O'm hoping that it's a post period thing where I go crazy and lose all sense and taste and relish teen-chick-flicks, that or plain and simple I'm just a loser a plain and boring loser.

In the net cafe I'm in the boy i'm sitting next to is very hot not it has any re;evance to anything, it's just there are so few attractive men out there any more that any sightings should be cherished as they could be your very last vision of a hot boy, that or plain and simple I'm just trying to justify that I'm a pervert.

Yeah I know, but it's nice once in a while to pretend I'm normal

Last of the Mohicans... I mean exams

chameleonsmall
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Today was my last day of school and the last of my exams for this semester, Yesterday was my assessment on recreating an animal in either face-painting or for theatre and of course because I am a former Drama bitch I selected theatre, it's supposed to be a chameleon, I don't know what to think of it, the photo was taken after my model smudged her lips so it's blurry on the lips

I like to bitch and moan don't I?

Exams are over, Life is over, I want to cry, I want to eat lots of cake and drink lots of tequila and be really self destructive. I really want to

I can sing a rainbow.

I can sing a rainbow.
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Today waiting for my bus, it always makes me gooey seeing a rainbow. Now off to work!

Guess what

highfashion01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Yesterday was an exam at school, we had to design and apply a 'high fashion' make-up inspired by an animal, that was suitable for the cover of 'Italian Vogue' so here is my make-up if you can guess what animal inspired my make-up you will win a million dollars, or my undying love.

I am very happy with the results though.

Now onto my next assignment, when does the pain stop?

Today I did a work experience at a fashion parade for a hair college, it was fun, even though it made feel entirely inadequate. But for some reason I maintain a standard that always deems me inadequate, and you know what? I don't mind, simply because being inadequate is quite easy to do. It probably stems from a fear of rejection, after all knowing you will be instantly rejected will help ease a fear of it right?

I'm far too self-analytical today, probably another side-effect of my nadequate feelings.

I have been on wheat binges ever since the weather cooling, I have been bitter, cold and gassy

Stupid minor wheat intolerance why couldn't wheat cause me to die? then I would avoid it, thus, avoiding being an irritable bitch.

Such is life.

Fuck, I'm prolific!

Bizarre Love Triangle

I have the pet shop boys "Bizarre love Triangle" on constant loop in my head, I just always have loved that song since forever and probably before then. But the last week has cemented it into my skull.

Weddings suck arse, ok I suck arse at weddings but one thing I know is I want to get married just so I can piss a lot of people off.

I want to dissappear for a while and take a holiday.

Strange men keep on staring at me on the street, some even walk up to me and say hello, I just want to know where people especially old ugly people get this confidence from? to approach a stranger and to expect a positive response is amazing and yet time and time again it happens, it must be because I am a fat chick, people must assume I have no self esteem and thus feel more confident with me, or I appear as a desperate slut to every man and his dog?

I now want to dissappear more and more.

Piniata's are the tool of the devil, you have been warned

Somebody runaway with me, we can become gypsies!

I'm tired

My Wedding

I haven't been online lately because I have been preoccupied with my wedding.

It's in a few hours, I'm nervous, I'm terrified

I have no idea what to do.

Have you met my younger brother?

make-up 073
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Ok while deryn was visiting I practised some make-up on him but he looks pretty cool as an old man dontcha think?

Computer is fixed: Life still sucks

I like to complain don't I? no wonder nobody likes me

I spent all my money on bobby pins and a trilby.

A trilby is a hat and it makes me look so very cool.

Brother is coming to Sydney on Sunday because the Foo Fighters are doing a free gig on Monday I'm happy because I get to see my beloved Deryn, I'm not happy because I have to attend school and miss out on foo fighters gig but I'll survive because I'm taking brother to restaurant and movie which will be fun.

But apart from that my life still sucks y'know

Prepare yourselves.

My computer is broken dangnabbit, and so I am internetless and cashless for the next couple of days while i await it's repair

Oh fuckbuckets.

So be prepared for the next few days a moblogging extravaganza!

(for those that don't know moblogging is entering my blog entries via mobile phone so that I can update 'kimberly-lives' from anywhere in the world with phone reception and also mobile phone credit allowing)

yeah so that is it apart from saying FUCK FUCK FUCK why does my life have to be the crappest life ever I can barely afford school fees let alone fucking computer repairs, FUCKING DELL computers leading me into the false sense of security that I could trust you with everything all my documents, my secrets, my life. Fuckety Fuck Fuck.

I think that helped

A funny thing happened at school today.

I got battered and bruised.



I hope you are feeling lots of pity for me

Well the good thing is that, the girl that did this to me didn't fare much better


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


that was supposed to be an evil laugh.

A reflex action

I slept in today and woke up ten minutes ago, Obviously too late for school, so now I am here in my underwear, coffee in my hand wondering what to do next.

It's moments like these that make me think my life is inceribly empty and pointless.

Ok it's not totally empty and there are a few miniscule points in my life that need to be maintained, but on the whole There is alot of emptiness in my life that needs to be filled or at least pushed to the back and have somethijng distracting stuck on the top.

I do this every few days when I ask myself, what the hell amd I doing what I am doing for?
And my brain can't for the life of it find an answer and that's something because I am queen of the excuses. (yes last year all the little excuses got together and democratically elected me as their queen)

It must because I am incredibly alone, coming home to an empty house is this incredibly odd feeling it's become this reflex action when I get home, I open the front door and then sigh.

I'm tired I really am and to add fuel to the fire I am reading 'Hell' by Dante, it's really nice to know that there are so many different routes to hell and right now I qualify for at least a dozen of them.

If somebody out there loves me they will fly me over to london so I can go see '1984 the opera' or if they don't love me that much they could just marry me and look after me forever.

I'm tired, I need sleep.

Kimberly and the Zoo

Today Kimberly went to the zoo,
She saw Lions, Elephants and even Giraffes.
She took lots of photos too!

Yes, I know I can't write for shit but today for a school excursion I went to Taronga Park Zoo,
took lots of photos and now am thinking about what to do for upcoming make-up assignments.

Some of My Assignment

clownmakeup01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

I suppose you should see what I have been agonizing over for the last month.

I Hate Fucking Clowns

For the last month or so, I have been researching an assignment totally due on clowns and of course, it's due today at 9am and I have done 'Jack Shit' and I have to do make-up tommorrow half asleep because of my fucking ineptitude. But of course I had to waste time in which I could be doing my assignment on posting an entry about how I suck at doing assignments on time.

P.S. I hate fucking clowns

Don't Panic

I have been waiting for this day for years, since I first heard it mentioned I watched and I waited tingling with anticipation for the moment to arrive.

And today the 29th of April, 2005 the blessed event occured.

Today after school I saw The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on the big screen and it was good, very good.

I love it when a movie based on one of the greatest books ever! doesn't let me down.

Well.

I got a haircut yesterday after school, was supposed to be a trim but then I let the words slip 'take it all off" and now I have short hair instead of my majestic albeit ratty afro.



Well what do you think?


Most people hate it when I cut my hair short but I really don't feel like giving a damn today maybe when I go to school and people cry "what have you done with your hair?" might make me paranoid, oh screw it, it's only hair why am I thinking so much about it?

Anzac Day, 2005, What Did I Do?

I love Anzac day, I really do and as it was my first official Anzac day as a 'Grown-up Sydneysider' I had to go into the city and go see the parade.

However I slept in because I stayed up late chatting on msn so I hastily dressed and ran/ waddled to the bus-stop hoping that I would get a bus to get me into the city on time

Of course I did and I got to watch the parade.

The moral to the story is... If something in my life ever goes right it's usually a case of sheer dumb luck.

On a second note My darling friend Lib was in Sydney for the Anzac day parade so, we went on a SUPER-HYPER-MEGA shooping fling.

I couldn't afford anything as I on Saturday purchased a brand new 5.1 Megapixel Sony Cybershot, Digital Camera and fuck me, it's a beautiful piece of machinery. I love it ever so and even though I have a perfectly good digital camera, the batteries were being held in with sticky-tape and so I thought "why get the batery casing replaced when I can just spend $400 on a new digital camera"

Anyway off from my tangent the moral of my story is I spent alot of money today more than I could afford but it was to the furtherment of my career in make-up... honestly it is.

As Lib had never been, I took her to Max Brenner for a chocolate extravganza, as I so rarely see Lib I was justified in eating a small amount of wheat products and a large amount of chocolate products and I was very happy indeed.



It was great to see her again, I really miss just hanging out with my old friends of yore.

Since When?

Since when, did just existing become exhausting?

Home

I'm home, it's this bizarre feeling, not that Bulahdelah is my actual 'home' but seeing my brother and being surrounded by clutter makes me feel comfortable, chaos around me makes me feel better about myself.

Brother is the lovliest person on earth, when mother and I arrived he showed me a surprise he made specially for me, a Gorgeous flourless chocolate that he and his co-chefs (if that is an accurate term) made just for me cos a)I love the flourless chocolate cake that his restaurant makes and b) it hasn't got any flour in it whatsoever and as we all know I can't eat the evil wheat plant.

The whole family is tommorrow going to the solicitor to sort out Dad's estate, if there is one piece of condescending advice that I dispense that you actually listen to (trust me if you know me I'm full of crappy what you should do statements) if you have any assets whatsoever MAKE A WILL otherwise you will be spending alot of money in order to obtain a small amount of money.

The flourless chocolate cake is so rich that if you have more than a slice you feel quite ill, i've had two slices (ok, one slice and sliver but it's sooo rich the sliver counts as a whole slice) and I want to die, but I also want to eat the whole cake because if I'm dying I may as well eat the whole damn cake, I mean that would be logical... right?

I'm bored

I'm waiting for a bus to work and bored so i thought i'd take a picture of the church across the road, because that's bored people do while waiting for the bus.

I'm going home,

It's school holidays and I''m going home to see my dearest darling brother Deryn for the first time in like totally three months, Mother and I are leaving tommorrow evening after I finish work.

But.

We will have a guest with us, he is a "friend" of Mothers, he wants to come up to Bulahdelah and do some Bushwalking, his description sounded ok; "English, male, school teacher with a psychology background" so I said sure why not, and then I had a conversation over the phone with him.

(basic hello's and pleasantries)
Him: So how are you?
Me: I'm ok just on my break at work.
Him: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a waitress.
Him: So what are you waiting for? (insert guffaws)

Instantly I thought, this man is an old creepy wank, I should assumed from the description 'English, male School Teacher with a psychology background' that he would be a wanker as all the "English, male, School Teachers with a psychology background" that I have met in my travels have also been total wankers (ok truth be told I have only met one other person that remotley fits this description but for the record he isn't a total wanker just a part time one)

Anyway as Mr English Wank wants to encroach on my chill out with my darling brother time, I will have to humiliate him "Crappy Disney Childrens Movie Style" you might better know the technique as the 'CDCMS' or at least humiliate mother, I mean how dare she make friends with a total wank.

Yes I know I'm being a complete immature idiot.

But I'm going to see my brother tommorrow so it makes it all better

Dead Dad Day: Part deux

I took my Mother out to coffee and we had some pretty fine carrot cake, I don't think mum understood the significance of the carrot cake, she just doesn't like caramel so she ordered the carrot cake.

You see whenever dad and I went out for coffee or to restaurants etc. he would always order carrot cake, not because he particularly liked carrot cake, but because he was in search of the perfect slice, it became a game we played we tasted cakes that were too dry, too moist, the icing was too sweet, the icing was too buttery, and so on and so forth we did once find a carrot and ginger dish that both Dad and I deemed perfect, but then disqualified it on the basis that it was actually a pudding not a cake. Today he would of deemed the carrot cake too dry.

Now I'm not supposed to eat cake because wheat is evil and causes gas and not the good nitrous oxide kind, it also creates a few other nasty bodily functions, but the last few days haven't really given a fuck.

Am now eating a dinner I made for myself of char-sui style lamb cutlets on a bed of asian greens and red capsicum w/ rice noodles and a longneck of strongbow apple cider, while I'm eating dinner I am watching Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining"

Damn Mourning is good.

Dead Dad Day: Part One

I woke up and had nothing to do so I danced a good half hour in my underwear to Iggy Pop's 'Lust For Life' ok the song only lasts five minutes, but I couldn't think of a more suitable song so I repeated it three or four times until I was worn out.

Who knew mourning would be so cool.

Now what to do next.

I need Distractions.

On wednesday it will be a year since my father died, I can say it to myself and to anybody else I know a million times and it still doesn't seem to have any actual meaning.

My Father is Dead.

It's a sentence, it's a statement, it's a fact, it's been made into a law there is no way I can change it, it's permanent. Funny thing is I have always wanted something permanent in my life.

What is the point of the rambling? well I am appealing to you, yes you to distract me this wednesday the 13th of April with the first annual "Distract Kimberly enough so she doesn't dwell on the things she can't change day"

So if anyone wants to join me for a few hours of anything from alcohol to more alcohol, or help me keep away from it, you know how to contact me people (via email kimberlyDotlivesATgmailDOTcom), and tell your friends.

Ok I probably don't need a day of distractions, but how does one cope? is there a one year anniversary of death ceremony? do you just sit an cry and scream melodramatically "Oh Why God Why?" ?, Deryn (that's my brother folks) is going to be working, I asked him 'why?' and he said "what else am I going to do?" I however took the whole day off specifically and now I don't know what the fuck to do with it.

It's 2am and these are the thoughts that are keeping me awake.

I remember when I used to be kept awake by thoughts of what to wear tommorrow and Colin Firth in a wet shirt

I wonder why I eased up on my Firth obsession?

Actually I think it coincided when I saw him make out with that sour faced Renee Zellweger.

Oh good I have a new thought to keep me awake.

A conversation about 'The Code'

I had a conversation with my boss today at work, it wasn't particularly remarkable, few of my conversations are, but I have such a non-eventful life that even the pithiest conversation will be turned into a journal entry.

Boss: Kimberly?
Kimberly: Yes?
Boss: What's that you are reading?
Kimberly: (being my trademark smartarse self) It's a book
Boss: yes, but what is the book about
Kimberly: it's actually the script for one of my favourite plays.
Boss: (jumping in her seat) Ooh what is it? Can I look?
Kimberly: yes sure, here you go.
Boss: hmm, theres no pictures?
Kimberly: it's a script
Boss: sorry I thought they had pictures or is that something else.
Kimberly: I'm sorry I have no idea what you are talking about
Boss: ooh I know have you read 'The Da Vinci Code'? don't you think it's amazing?
Kimberly: actually no I haven't had the chance.
Boss: I thought you'd be the first to read it as you like those arty things and hate catholics
Kimberly: I don't hate catholics
Boss: yes you do, you say you hate catholics all the time
Kimberly: no I don't!
Boss: yes you do
(repeat previous two lines for five minutes)
Kimberly: oh you misinterpreted me I hate 'Catholcism' not Catholics, theres a big difference
Boss: is there? I don't know,but anyway you should read 'The Code' it's amazing
Kimberly: 'The Code'????
Boss: "The Da Vinci Code" Kimberly do you ever listen?

Ok so this usually happens a few times a week where I get pestered to go read "The Da Vinci Code" but for some reason my faux intellectual siuperiority makes me think that I am too good for this novel, and for all intents and purposes lets say I am, therefore Ok I honestly have nothing, I just can't be arsed, I wouldn't of minded if I had read this book before everyone else and then bragged about it saying that I read Dan Brown years ago, but every man and his bloody dog has read this book and if I can't be the leader I'd rather crawl under a rock and die than be a bloody sheep buying the book on tape.

I'll wait a year for the bloody movie.

One question though, ok make it two, 1) Do you think that I should read "The Da Vinci Code"? and 2) Please tell me that my boss is the only person in the world that refers to the novel as "The Code"?

School Holidays Begin

It has been a while since I have experienced the humble school holiday, it isn't really an experience, but hell I like to over-exaggerate.

I have completed my first term of make-up school and I didn't injure or maim anybody.

I just calculated that in the last two weeks I have spent close to ok extremely close to two hundred dollars in cosmetics and magazines, but luckily for me I can claim it was all in the name of my study, because reading 'Allure' and 'Instyle' is really quite a demmanding task, but it must be done and I cannot, nay MUST not go and rock the boat, and somebody said "you can never have too many eyeshadows" and believe it or not I believe that statement to be absolutely true, and I have to spend accordingly.

But it's all in the name of education, creamy, sheer, matte education.

Bits and Pieces

Tuesday I went to the Sydney Royal Easter Show with my dear friend Richie, it was lovely, I purchased showbags and beetroot and macadamia nut pesto (fuck it's lovely) and I looked at lovely knitted things wishing that I had the discipline to knit myself a toy poodle.

I must though in retrospect mention a few things.
1) I am a shop-a-holic if I have money I will purchase it
2) I am a person who feels compelled to eat every greasy morsel on her plate even if every bite feels like daggers down my throat.
3) I am horrible with exposed heights, but despite the fact that I know this I will always ride a ferris wheel and sob quietly to myself praying for a miracle.

Winter is approaching fast and today I purchased myself a doona/duvet/quilt and judging from the crappiness of the heating of my flat, it's going to be a cold winter and will require ten more quilts/doona/duvet thingies. One question why can't we have a universal english term for a bit of fabric that keeps you warm?

Ok I know a blanket, a quilt and a doona/duvet are completely different things but bah! I like to complain sometimes about insignificant things in order to feel better about myself.

You know like men with small penises do

Well that's what I assume men with small penises do.

Well why don't you tell me.

Ok just kidding Mr. Prime Minister everybody knows you are hung like a horse.

Have you ever?

Have you ever done something not like you, enjoyed it and have been left to wonder, should I regret it or not?

No? neither have I

My new eyebrows.

kimeyebrowssmall
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Seeing as I dedicated pretty much a whole entry to my new just shaped eyebrows I thought I better post a picture of what they look like, don't you love them I look completely different.






Ok they aren't indicative of my current eyebrows, it's just last monday at school we learnt how to conceal eyebrows and all about various eyebrow shapes, and this is what my make-up partner for the day Illona did to me... the bitch grrr. Thank god for spirit gum remover.

As for my new eyebrows, they look like my former eyebrows only nicer.

My Friday was good, was yours?

Today I got to catch up with a friend of mine Steven, and we went to the movies and saw 'Robots' which in my opinion sucks but I pretended to enjoy, followed by rambling around 'Paddys markets' to get supplies, as my friend Steven (who also happens to be a chef) was going to unbeknownst to him was going to cook me a meal from this giant swag of seafood that my mother had won in raffle yesterday. Luckily he didn't complain and I got a lovely meal of oysters, parawns, balmain bugs and crab that was to die for... Whoever thought of this fish thing was a genius, and who knew chefs can cook in home kitchens?

I'm still sick with cold but have been ODing on the garlic, chilli and the ginger, I smell deliciously odd, but who cares, I'm not going to visit the queen.

My Good Friday was very Good indeed, I like eating lots of fish alot. I really have to work on my grammar and all round eloquence.

Head congested, Brain dead

Still have the flu.

Today got my eyebrows shaped, a girlfriend of mine went to this 'totally famous place' to get her eyebrows done, minimum price $50 dollars, and to be honest, I thought they went a little too thin, luckily I don't tell her that, I however found a girl barely out of puberty just up the road from me who shaped my eyebrows quite nicely for $10 actually I think my new eyebrows look quite fabulous, plus they fact they were only ten dollars makes them even more fabulous in my book.

I love bargains.


Took day off school will have day off tommorrow, stupid Jesus dying, I want to do something!

Have been drinking shandies made with low carbohydrate beer and sugar-free lemonade, despite lack of fun filled carbs and sugar, shandies are surprisingly good. My diet obsessive mother is onto something... or fact that bloodstream is full of so many cold & flu medicines that any alcohol tastes good.

Am watching 'Starship Troopers' for the umpteenth time, who said I didn't have a life?

I need a hero!

I have a cold

The title is pretty much self explanitory.

I have spent all my money on cold and flu remedies and comfort food (comfort food today is macadamia nuts) so now am poor.

I got to see my dear friend Richie yesterday we went and saw 'Million dollar Baby' I have never cried so much in a cinema in my entire life, I was really moved and that takes alot considering how fat I am.

Yeah I'm 'Miss Self Esteem' aren't I?

Don't tell mother but I have lost my 'Christian Dior' Sunglasses that mother gave to me as a gift (her idea of a gift is something she likes but gives to you so she can 'borrow' said gift) so I need to know where I can get cheap/good knockoffs of sunglasses because my mother is a nazi.

Yes the nazi party is now allowing fijian women into the party.

I hope I get better soon I actually hate missing out on school.

What can I say?

I am watching 'The Royal Tennenbaums' on television despite the fact that I already posess it on D.V.D. and have watched it several times. I wonder what on earth happened to me in my life that made me so decidedly bizarre compared to everyone else.

I like to think it all because I'm just so damn beautiful.

Shut-up!

A sample of my work.

skullface01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Today we did skull makeup school as part of the topic theatrical makeup, and I got a gorgeous girl in my class 'Rachel' to model for me (ok we actually just pair up and take turns doing each others make-up) anyway today was the first day I actualy remembered to bring in my digital camera so here you have a sample of my cosmetic work... I'm available for weddings.

P.S. my new school rocks

P.P.S My shading sucks and I made the teeth too yellow because I couldn't be arsed mixing a lighter colour

P.P.P.S.Ok my shading doesn't really suck it's theatre makeup and it's meant to be seen at a distance under bright lights.

I'm Back and Better than ever

Ok so I haven't posted for ages because a) was lacking in an actual internet connection and b) I had a life, I had things to do, I was consumed with learning, working and I even had an actual date.

My new school is amazing I'm enjoying it so much, I'm learning every day and everyone in my class is just adorable, it makes me feel all happy and stuff just talking about it I love my school ever so much. In the three weeks i have done so much and even got given free tickets for the theatre by the schools principal. (it was 'the chairs' currently at the belvoir st. theatre in Sydney)

Oh a big thankyou to Bella-boo, Ramona and 'The Sage Tithonus' for helping to entertain me on my 21st and distracted me enough not to get depressed because I'm alone and fat and have frizzy hair

Will write more later, I have my internet back on I need to do alot of catching up.

The Last Photo taken.

kim020305
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is the last ever photo taken of me before I turn 21 which is in fact now.

I'm now officially an adult I'll take a photo of my mature self later on.

Preliminary birthday dinner

Am at Pasha's in Newtown it's one of my favourite restaurants in Sydney, so I guilted Mother into buying me dinner all three courses! She is currently having a smoke while i'm waiting for my coffee and baklava. Mmm baklava

the last day of the twentieth year

Today on the last day of the twentieth year of my life i'm reading "the five people you meet in heaven by pokie light, aint my life grand.

This is how sick and twisted I am.

I was reading an article this morning that was mentioning the word 'Premium' quite alot except my sick and perverted mind twisted into the word 'Perineum' so in the space of four paragraphs I was seeing nothing but perineums and more perineums, I really need a life.

oh and a premium perineum

Life so far.

Oh my God!, my fucking new school is amazing, the students and the teachers make me scream and go 'WOW' I don't know why but, I know I won't probably ever end up as an 'extrodinaire make-up artiste' but I'm going to enjoy this ride, it feels right, and that's something I very rarely say about anything or anyone... but yeah, it feels right.

Did I mention that from now on I will be a poor motherfucker? ok I won't be fucking any mothers, unless lonely mothers are willing to pay generously for my services.

I am happy though, I am broke but I am happy, and I can't wait to post lots of photos of my make-up and waffle about the benefits of a powder eyeshadow over a creme based one.

P.S. throughout the year I will be requiring lots of people (male and female) as models for various assignments and practise on, I don't care what you look like as long as you live in Sydney or can get here easily have a face and can sit still for half and hour, please comment or email me.

P.P.S tell your friends too I need lots of practise.

Tommorrow.

kim09
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Well tommorrow, is offficially my first day of school, just looking at me you can see how excited I am, ok I'm petrified, I have just washed my hair, and bored so thought I would take photos with my digital camera, god I'm so pathetic.

Bye Shelley!

See that blur in the distance that's my pal shelley and her posse walking as far away from me as they can. Shelley and her boy are off to Bali for ten days of sun surf and indigestion. Shelley if you are reading this have a safe trip babe!

It's Valentines day

Kimberly: Oh it's midnight, it's now officially Valentines Day!
Brain: So what does that matter to you you are alone
Kimberly: Oh yeah i forgot, well I can still enjoy the day, right?
Brain: not really remember you hate people and you particularly hate people who publicly display affection therefore this day is going to be the worst day of your life.
Kimberly: surely not the worst day, I mean the 'Dead Dad Day' was pretty bad
Brain: Yeah, but people werent running about with overpriced flowers and chocolates in a vain attempt to disguise the fact that their relationships are just long drawn out sexual interludes.
Kimberly: You weren't at my Fathers funeral.
Brain: no I haven't been around much lately, I do apologise but sunning myself in Bermuda was a much more tempting option than hanging out with you.
Kimberly: But I thought you liked my company?
Brain: I do, I honestly do, but only when you do exactly what I say.
Kimberly: But I always do exactly what you say, don't I?
Brain: Honey I never told you to buy those Homer Simpsons statuettes, all sixteen dollars worth of them.
Kimberly: What? I swear you did, I mean... but... why didn't you say anything?
Brain: Um... remember that voice that was going 'you fucking idiot you can't afford to spend $16 on yellow plastic'
Kimberly: Yeah but I thought that was my conscience
Brain: What do you think your conscience is? for fucks sake are you an idiot.
Kimberly: I don't know you tell me... Hey weren't we talking about Valentines Day
Brain: oh yeah but it has no relevance for you, I mean after all you are alone
Kimberly: No I'm not, I have you for company.
Brain: Yeah, you do, for a few days at least
Kimberly: why only a few days?
Brain: i've decided to go on a Contiki tour of Europe next week
Kimberly: what? why? what?
Brain: I need to get out and see the world and hang out with the 18-35 set
Kimberly: but... but I'm the 18-35 set
Brain: yeah but y'know they seem you know cooler, and they like to do y'know stuff
Kimberly: ok fair enough, but please can you send me a postcard?
Brain: I'll try but you know I'll be pretty busy with the touring and the drinking and the stuff
Kimberly: Don't worry then.

Lack of furniture? knitting may be the solution

Lookie here

Now I just have to find a pattern for a six foot tall bookshelf, I'm drowning in books here.

And now for something completely different.

It's on right now on channel ten , I love 'Monty Python' in fact I love it so much, if one of my friends disliked it or any british comedy I would in fact dump their sorry arses,

It it horribly hot at the moment, I hate the heat it makes me want to smoke, I don't like to smoke it makes me smell funny and makes my throat all owwy, ok I love to smoke it makes me look cool and it pushes me closer to death, but it costs alot of money to maintain an addiction.

Doctor says I have to listen to him and actually take his advice, and not drink beer or eat wheat as it is turning me into a human bag pipe (as in I emit alot of incredibly annoying sounding wind) so am on diet of death where flavour and fun has been removed. Doctors suck and not in the endearing blow job kind of way.

Did I mention that my mother can be a total cunt of a bitch sometimes... it's a personal issue but I think she is going to drive me over the edge... as I can't drive myself over the edge as I don't have my licence.

Evolution

Was just browsing through some family photos and noticed how much my brother and I have changed

exhibit a)


That's me and Deryn in 1992 when we both attended Tea Gardens Public School, I actually remember the day quite vividly as my brother was crying wildly because he didn't want his photo taken you can actually see his teary eyes and the wet patches on his shirt where he wiped his face on it, I remember crying too, but I cried so much in primary school, I used to cry so much that one of my teachers used to call me 'Warragambah' after the huge dam in Sydney.

Exhibit b)

This was taken at Deryn's Graduation formal in November 2003m, god I got fat and pale, it was a fun night though, and my brother looked oh so grown up in his suit, makes me wanna cry.

Today on the bus ride home from work.

I am such a bad-ass rebel!

The wheels on the bus go round and round

And the commuters on the bus get squashed and squashed, fearing for their life.
Am on the bus on my way home from work and this bus is packed to it's government issued rafters, why can't somebody offer me a seat? Stupid pregnant and elderly.

Nothing on T.V.

There is nothing on television here in Australia tonight so I am watching the final episode of 'Outback Jack'

Urge to kill rising.

Live from 'Casa del Kimberly'

Ok am a touch excited, I finally got off my sizeable arse and got the phone connected today, and thus am now surfing my sizeable arse off on the internet.

Ok Less talk about 'das booty'

Deryn (that's my brother folks) and two of his mates Brent and Daniel crashed at my place for a couple of nights for the 'Big Day Out' I was to go but Daniel, missed out on tickets and me being the pathetic pushover that I am I sold him my ticket, therefore missing out on my beloved 'Beastie Boys' and just the smell of stale sweat, cheap bourbon, and urine. Oh and the blisters! oh how I treasured the battle wounds of the music festivals I attended, as I would apply ointment to my chafed inner thighs and think that was from 'Powderfinger' or when icing the bruise on my left calf thinking 'Sonic Animation' did that one, or when I looked at the bloodied stump where my left hand used to be and sigh and think of 'Silverchair'

Ok my left hnd didn't get amputated at a Silverchair concert but if it did I'd be right now cashing in my compensation cheques.

I am far too selfish, I need to work on that, that and my reckless spending habits, today I purchased towels, two pairs of jeans a red pair of shoes and underarm whitening deodorant. Oh and a pluggy thing for my phone line.

I was only supposed to get the pluggy thing, but the jeans were only ten bucks a pair and the towels were green and oh so lush and on special and the shoes were red and shiny and I don't have a life or a boyfriend to help kill my animal instincts.

So the moral to my story is if I was getting laid, I'd be much more controlled and efficient in my day to day life.

So the only solution apart from getting into a boob tube and heading down to the pub with my fingers crossed and my legs open, is to purchase me an expensive vibrator such as this one, yes I know it would send me to the poor house but It's for the greater good a.k.a me

But now, bed

Happy Australia Day!

I'm at central station, this is a photo of a crazy lady who has been coughing up miscellaneous goo for the last ten minutes, she's wearing an aboriginal flag, so I thought I'd post a picture to celebrate the european invasion of Australia and what has become of the indigenous population. She is sadly just one of many here at central station. Happy Australia Day!

Well Duh!

Ok, well duh! This lady is usually here in Surry Hills every Saturday, with her collection of foetus filled flyers. I don't know why I'm posting this, I am quite bored actually.

The Ice woman Cometh

If one more person asks me if I am excited about moving into my own place I seriously will disembowel them and wear their entrails as a wig.

I have tried being excited but a dark fog has hung over the whole moving in process, a dark, gold jewelry wearing, Chanel Chance smelling fog, Deryn, Dad and I called this fog 'The Dragon Lady' but when in the presence of this fog we call her Mother.

She wants to sorta live in "Casa del Kimberly" well not live there, just bathe, eat and sleep there.

I don't get along well with her, and I don't think landlord would appreciate blood spilled within the first week of me moving in.

Welcome to "Casa del Kimberly"

So here it is, my new apartment, well the kitchen part of it at least, well first things first, I have to get rid of the cabbage stink left by the previous tenant.

Why?

Why must every toilet in Australia have my name in it?

At Starbucks, Darling Harbour

I'm at with my friend Matt, the chai tea frappucino was yummy. That is all.

On the bus

I'm currently on the Busways coach from Bulahdelah to Sydney, and I'm bored, subtle hint to anyone reading, I need an ipod!

EXTRA: Commitment-phobe makes Commitment

I sign my lease tommorrow,

It means I have to commit to something, and as you all know I'm a commitment-phobe and therefore rent freaks the be-jesusness out of me.

I don't believe I have ever used the term 'be-jesusness' before.

I'm so scared of becomming a tennant that I have started using made-up-pseudo-words.

Oh well it could be worse, I could have below-average skin, but my average skin is holding up well.

My Brother and his trip to Africa

dezafrica01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Did I tell you about the time my brother went to Africa? no? well he was loved by everyone so much so that the infamous 'Djobouti' tribe of Kenya allowed him to participate in their annual fertility dance.

Or...

Or today at Garden City Shopping Centre, Deryn saw a photo booth that did funny photos and superimposed his mug onto a photo of African tribesmen, for entertainment value.

The first story while it didn't happen, it is totally feesable.

Happy Birthday Matt!

Mobile update: At mac donalds with this man! If you don't hear from me call the police.

I'm ready

Yes, so 2005 is shaping up to be less swomewhat... what is the word, um er 'FUCKED UP'

I have a school to go to... that's a positive point
I have almost got a place to live in... that's also a positive point
I'm turning 21... that's positive, but I look and feel like I'm 38 with a crack addiction so being older is really a neutral point.
I have a new and exciting blog, with mobile blogging capabilities... that's a positive

I might also add I'm starting 2005 with less flea bites than any other year!

I'm ready to take on the world.

(note: this entry might of been fuelled by excess vodka and prozac consumption, do not try it at home kiddies unless you have a crazy doctor who will pescribe you anything)

(note: I'm not really on prozac, I'm on lithium)

My first mobile entry!

Taken on platform 25 at central station, while i was hot and sweaty not that that has anything to do with that.