Home

I'm home, it's this bizarre feeling, not that Bulahdelah is my actual 'home' but seeing my brother and being surrounded by clutter makes me feel comfortable, chaos around me makes me feel better about myself.

Brother is the lovliest person on earth, when mother and I arrived he showed me a surprise he made specially for me, a Gorgeous flourless chocolate that he and his co-chefs (if that is an accurate term) made just for me cos a)I love the flourless chocolate cake that his restaurant makes and b) it hasn't got any flour in it whatsoever and as we all know I can't eat the evil wheat plant.

The whole family is tommorrow going to the solicitor to sort out Dad's estate, if there is one piece of condescending advice that I dispense that you actually listen to (trust me if you know me I'm full of crappy what you should do statements) if you have any assets whatsoever MAKE A WILL otherwise you will be spending alot of money in order to obtain a small amount of money.

The flourless chocolate cake is so rich that if you have more than a slice you feel quite ill, i've had two slices (ok, one slice and sliver but it's sooo rich the sliver counts as a whole slice) and I want to die, but I also want to eat the whole cake because if I'm dying I may as well eat the whole damn cake, I mean that would be logical... right?

I'm bored

I'm waiting for a bus to work and bored so i thought i'd take a picture of the church across the road, because that's bored people do while waiting for the bus.

I'm going home,

It's school holidays and I''m going home to see my dearest darling brother Deryn for the first time in like totally three months, Mother and I are leaving tommorrow evening after I finish work.

But.

We will have a guest with us, he is a "friend" of Mothers, he wants to come up to Bulahdelah and do some Bushwalking, his description sounded ok; "English, male, school teacher with a psychology background" so I said sure why not, and then I had a conversation over the phone with him.

(basic hello's and pleasantries)
Him: So how are you?
Me: I'm ok just on my break at work.
Him: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a waitress.
Him: So what are you waiting for? (insert guffaws)

Instantly I thought, this man is an old creepy wank, I should assumed from the description 'English, male School Teacher with a psychology background' that he would be a wanker as all the "English, male, School Teachers with a psychology background" that I have met in my travels have also been total wankers (ok truth be told I have only met one other person that remotley fits this description but for the record he isn't a total wanker just a part time one)

Anyway as Mr English Wank wants to encroach on my chill out with my darling brother time, I will have to humiliate him "Crappy Disney Childrens Movie Style" you might better know the technique as the 'CDCMS' or at least humiliate mother, I mean how dare she make friends with a total wank.

Yes I know I'm being a complete immature idiot.

But I'm going to see my brother tommorrow so it makes it all better

Dead Dad Day: Part deux

I took my Mother out to coffee and we had some pretty fine carrot cake, I don't think mum understood the significance of the carrot cake, she just doesn't like caramel so she ordered the carrot cake.

You see whenever dad and I went out for coffee or to restaurants etc. he would always order carrot cake, not because he particularly liked carrot cake, but because he was in search of the perfect slice, it became a game we played we tasted cakes that were too dry, too moist, the icing was too sweet, the icing was too buttery, and so on and so forth we did once find a carrot and ginger dish that both Dad and I deemed perfect, but then disqualified it on the basis that it was actually a pudding not a cake. Today he would of deemed the carrot cake too dry.

Now I'm not supposed to eat cake because wheat is evil and causes gas and not the good nitrous oxide kind, it also creates a few other nasty bodily functions, but the last few days haven't really given a fuck.

Am now eating a dinner I made for myself of char-sui style lamb cutlets on a bed of asian greens and red capsicum w/ rice noodles and a longneck of strongbow apple cider, while I'm eating dinner I am watching Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining"

Damn Mourning is good.

Dead Dad Day: Part One

I woke up and had nothing to do so I danced a good half hour in my underwear to Iggy Pop's 'Lust For Life' ok the song only lasts five minutes, but I couldn't think of a more suitable song so I repeated it three or four times until I was worn out.

Who knew mourning would be so cool.

Now what to do next.

I need Distractions.

On wednesday it will be a year since my father died, I can say it to myself and to anybody else I know a million times and it still doesn't seem to have any actual meaning.

My Father is Dead.

It's a sentence, it's a statement, it's a fact, it's been made into a law there is no way I can change it, it's permanent. Funny thing is I have always wanted something permanent in my life.

What is the point of the rambling? well I am appealing to you, yes you to distract me this wednesday the 13th of April with the first annual "Distract Kimberly enough so she doesn't dwell on the things she can't change day"

So if anyone wants to join me for a few hours of anything from alcohol to more alcohol, or help me keep away from it, you know how to contact me people (via email kimberlyDotlivesATgmailDOTcom), and tell your friends.

Ok I probably don't need a day of distractions, but how does one cope? is there a one year anniversary of death ceremony? do you just sit an cry and scream melodramatically "Oh Why God Why?" ?, Deryn (that's my brother folks) is going to be working, I asked him 'why?' and he said "what else am I going to do?" I however took the whole day off specifically and now I don't know what the fuck to do with it.

It's 2am and these are the thoughts that are keeping me awake.

I remember when I used to be kept awake by thoughts of what to wear tommorrow and Colin Firth in a wet shirt

I wonder why I eased up on my Firth obsession?

Actually I think it coincided when I saw him make out with that sour faced Renee Zellweger.

Oh good I have a new thought to keep me awake.

A conversation about 'The Code'

I had a conversation with my boss today at work, it wasn't particularly remarkable, few of my conversations are, but I have such a non-eventful life that even the pithiest conversation will be turned into a journal entry.

Boss: Kimberly?
Kimberly: Yes?
Boss: What's that you are reading?
Kimberly: (being my trademark smartarse self) It's a book
Boss: yes, but what is the book about
Kimberly: it's actually the script for one of my favourite plays.
Boss: (jumping in her seat) Ooh what is it? Can I look?
Kimberly: yes sure, here you go.
Boss: hmm, theres no pictures?
Kimberly: it's a script
Boss: sorry I thought they had pictures or is that something else.
Kimberly: I'm sorry I have no idea what you are talking about
Boss: ooh I know have you read 'The Da Vinci Code'? don't you think it's amazing?
Kimberly: actually no I haven't had the chance.
Boss: I thought you'd be the first to read it as you like those arty things and hate catholics
Kimberly: I don't hate catholics
Boss: yes you do, you say you hate catholics all the time
Kimberly: no I don't!
Boss: yes you do
(repeat previous two lines for five minutes)
Kimberly: oh you misinterpreted me I hate 'Catholcism' not Catholics, theres a big difference
Boss: is there? I don't know,but anyway you should read 'The Code' it's amazing
Kimberly: 'The Code'????
Boss: "The Da Vinci Code" Kimberly do you ever listen?

Ok so this usually happens a few times a week where I get pestered to go read "The Da Vinci Code" but for some reason my faux intellectual siuperiority makes me think that I am too good for this novel, and for all intents and purposes lets say I am, therefore Ok I honestly have nothing, I just can't be arsed, I wouldn't of minded if I had read this book before everyone else and then bragged about it saying that I read Dan Brown years ago, but every man and his bloody dog has read this book and if I can't be the leader I'd rather crawl under a rock and die than be a bloody sheep buying the book on tape.

I'll wait a year for the bloody movie.

One question though, ok make it two, 1) Do you think that I should read "The Da Vinci Code"? and 2) Please tell me that my boss is the only person in the world that refers to the novel as "The Code"?

School Holidays Begin

It has been a while since I have experienced the humble school holiday, it isn't really an experience, but hell I like to over-exaggerate.

I have completed my first term of make-up school and I didn't injure or maim anybody.

I just calculated that in the last two weeks I have spent close to ok extremely close to two hundred dollars in cosmetics and magazines, but luckily for me I can claim it was all in the name of my study, because reading 'Allure' and 'Instyle' is really quite a demmanding task, but it must be done and I cannot, nay MUST not go and rock the boat, and somebody said "you can never have too many eyeshadows" and believe it or not I believe that statement to be absolutely true, and I have to spend accordingly.

But it's all in the name of education, creamy, sheer, matte education.

Bits and Pieces

Tuesday I went to the Sydney Royal Easter Show with my dear friend Richie, it was lovely, I purchased showbags and beetroot and macadamia nut pesto (fuck it's lovely) and I looked at lovely knitted things wishing that I had the discipline to knit myself a toy poodle.

I must though in retrospect mention a few things.
1) I am a shop-a-holic if I have money I will purchase it
2) I am a person who feels compelled to eat every greasy morsel on her plate even if every bite feels like daggers down my throat.
3) I am horrible with exposed heights, but despite the fact that I know this I will always ride a ferris wheel and sob quietly to myself praying for a miracle.

Winter is approaching fast and today I purchased myself a doona/duvet/quilt and judging from the crappiness of the heating of my flat, it's going to be a cold winter and will require ten more quilts/doona/duvet thingies. One question why can't we have a universal english term for a bit of fabric that keeps you warm?

Ok I know a blanket, a quilt and a doona/duvet are completely different things but bah! I like to complain sometimes about insignificant things in order to feel better about myself.

You know like men with small penises do

Well that's what I assume men with small penises do.

Well why don't you tell me.

Ok just kidding Mr. Prime Minister everybody knows you are hung like a horse.

Have you ever?

Have you ever done something not like you, enjoyed it and have been left to wonder, should I regret it or not?

No? neither have I

My new eyebrows.

kimeyebrowssmall
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Seeing as I dedicated pretty much a whole entry to my new just shaped eyebrows I thought I better post a picture of what they look like, don't you love them I look completely different.






Ok they aren't indicative of my current eyebrows, it's just last monday at school we learnt how to conceal eyebrows and all about various eyebrow shapes, and this is what my make-up partner for the day Illona did to me... the bitch grrr. Thank god for spirit gum remover.

As for my new eyebrows, they look like my former eyebrows only nicer.

My Friday was good, was yours?

Today I got to catch up with a friend of mine Steven, and we went to the movies and saw 'Robots' which in my opinion sucks but I pretended to enjoy, followed by rambling around 'Paddys markets' to get supplies, as my friend Steven (who also happens to be a chef) was going to unbeknownst to him was going to cook me a meal from this giant swag of seafood that my mother had won in raffle yesterday. Luckily he didn't complain and I got a lovely meal of oysters, parawns, balmain bugs and crab that was to die for... Whoever thought of this fish thing was a genius, and who knew chefs can cook in home kitchens?

I'm still sick with cold but have been ODing on the garlic, chilli and the ginger, I smell deliciously odd, but who cares, I'm not going to visit the queen.

My Good Friday was very Good indeed, I like eating lots of fish alot. I really have to work on my grammar and all round eloquence.

Head congested, Brain dead

Still have the flu.

Today got my eyebrows shaped, a girlfriend of mine went to this 'totally famous place' to get her eyebrows done, minimum price $50 dollars, and to be honest, I thought they went a little too thin, luckily I don't tell her that, I however found a girl barely out of puberty just up the road from me who shaped my eyebrows quite nicely for $10 actually I think my new eyebrows look quite fabulous, plus they fact they were only ten dollars makes them even more fabulous in my book.

I love bargains.


Took day off school will have day off tommorrow, stupid Jesus dying, I want to do something!

Have been drinking shandies made with low carbohydrate beer and sugar-free lemonade, despite lack of fun filled carbs and sugar, shandies are surprisingly good. My diet obsessive mother is onto something... or fact that bloodstream is full of so many cold & flu medicines that any alcohol tastes good.

Am watching 'Starship Troopers' for the umpteenth time, who said I didn't have a life?

I need a hero!

I have a cold

The title is pretty much self explanitory.

I have spent all my money on cold and flu remedies and comfort food (comfort food today is macadamia nuts) so now am poor.

I got to see my dear friend Richie yesterday we went and saw 'Million dollar Baby' I have never cried so much in a cinema in my entire life, I was really moved and that takes alot considering how fat I am.

Yeah I'm 'Miss Self Esteem' aren't I?

Don't tell mother but I have lost my 'Christian Dior' Sunglasses that mother gave to me as a gift (her idea of a gift is something she likes but gives to you so she can 'borrow' said gift) so I need to know where I can get cheap/good knockoffs of sunglasses because my mother is a nazi.

Yes the nazi party is now allowing fijian women into the party.

I hope I get better soon I actually hate missing out on school.

What can I say?

I am watching 'The Royal Tennenbaums' on television despite the fact that I already posess it on D.V.D. and have watched it several times. I wonder what on earth happened to me in my life that made me so decidedly bizarre compared to everyone else.

I like to think it all because I'm just so damn beautiful.

Shut-up!

A sample of my work.

skullface01
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

Today we did skull makeup school as part of the topic theatrical makeup, and I got a gorgeous girl in my class 'Rachel' to model for me (ok we actually just pair up and take turns doing each others make-up) anyway today was the first day I actualy remembered to bring in my digital camera so here you have a sample of my cosmetic work... I'm available for weddings.

P.S. my new school rocks

P.P.S My shading sucks and I made the teeth too yellow because I couldn't be arsed mixing a lighter colour

P.P.P.S.Ok my shading doesn't really suck it's theatre makeup and it's meant to be seen at a distance under bright lights.

I'm Back and Better than ever

Ok so I haven't posted for ages because a) was lacking in an actual internet connection and b) I had a life, I had things to do, I was consumed with learning, working and I even had an actual date.

My new school is amazing I'm enjoying it so much, I'm learning every day and everyone in my class is just adorable, it makes me feel all happy and stuff just talking about it I love my school ever so much. In the three weeks i have done so much and even got given free tickets for the theatre by the schools principal. (it was 'the chairs' currently at the belvoir st. theatre in Sydney)

Oh a big thankyou to Bella-boo, Ramona and 'The Sage Tithonus' for helping to entertain me on my 21st and distracted me enough not to get depressed because I'm alone and fat and have frizzy hair

Will write more later, I have my internet back on I need to do alot of catching up.

The Last Photo taken.

kim020305
Originally uploaded by kimberly.lives.

This is the last ever photo taken of me before I turn 21 which is in fact now.

I'm now officially an adult I'll take a photo of my mature self later on.

Preliminary birthday dinner

Am at Pasha's in Newtown it's one of my favourite restaurants in Sydney, so I guilted Mother into buying me dinner all three courses! She is currently having a smoke while i'm waiting for my coffee and baklava. Mmm baklava

the last day of the twentieth year

Today on the last day of the twentieth year of my life i'm reading "the five people you meet in heaven by pokie light, aint my life grand.